PRESIDENT BUSH AND CONGRESS: Howard Fineman, Newsweek senior Washington correspondent and MSNBC political analyst; James Moore, huffingtonpost.com contributor and co-author of "Bush's Brain"
WATERBOARDING: Bruce Fein, fmr. Reagan associate attorney general
2008 ELECTION: Craig Crawford, CQPolitics.com columnist and MSNBC political analyst; Jim Morris, political humorist and impressionist
Something Olbermann This Way Comes: The President wants a "rubber stamp" [Ding!], he's going to (gasp!) issue administrative orders, Mukasey nomination is in "crisis" [Ding!], "Saint Rudy" [Ding!], Roger Ailes [Ding!], and more. It's hump day at Olbermann Watch.
#5: "Mister" Bush is destroying democracy because he is going to issue administrative orders. Horrors! No President has ever done that before! "Mister" Bush "bashes" Democrats. "Mister" Bush is running the country "by executive fiat". Olby suggested the Congress should stop all funding to the Executive Branch. The Pundit for All Occasions was again a bland sycophant. Great thanks.
Karen Hughes resigned. Reference to Blackwater [Ding!]. "Bush's Brain" [Ding!] Guy brought in to advance the notion that Ms Hughes is delusional and a butt-kissing toady and "Mister" Bush wants to be a dictator. Great thanks. Teaser for upcoming political segment: Joe Biden in the debate takes a shot at Giuliani. (On OlbyPlanet, that is the big news from the event.)
#4: The AG nomination fight. Clips from anti-AG Democrats: Leahy (D), Durbin (D). Clips from pro-AG Republicans: don't be silly, this is The Hour of Spin; you know Olby ain't gonna be fair or balanced. Fein was again miseadingly introduced as a "former Reagan" administration member, but we at Olbermann Watch know of his sharp turn to the left. If he hadn't taken that fork in the road, he never would have arrived at OlbyPlanet. "Blank check" [Ding!]. Great thanks.
#3: Debate politics. Yep, the Big News out of the debate is: Biden attacked Giuliani! Oh, and Giuliani is a plagiarist. Debate clip: Biden attacks Giuliani, Giuliani responds. Hillary tried to "split the middle" on illegal alien drivers licenses; clips of that exchange. As Olbermann's Brain chuckled onto the set, Merkle started off by asking several questions about... Hillary? Nope. Biden vs Giuliani! Now we know Keithy's plan to spin Hillary's embarrassing performance--change the subject and launch Project Rudy yet again! Then it was on to Obama, Edwards, and finally the licenses issue. When Oralmann started out "It sounds to me, and maybe I'm being naive..." you know The Spin Starts Here. Oh, she was looking for an ad-hoc solution to an unsolved problem, she was "unfairly hounded", yada yada yada. Will Fat Ass ever get his head out of that Clinton orafice? (Hint: No.) Great thanks.
After a "Fixed News" [Ding!] reference: #2: Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan. #1: Political comedy with Jim Morris with lots of fake laughter from Dan Olbermahn. In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermahn went after John Gibson of "Fox Noise" [Ding!] (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) and Mort Kondracke of "Fixed News" [Ding!] (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). Yep, another night of straight from the Media Matters website to Dan Olbermahn's teleprompter.
Dogs That Did Not Bark: Good old Bathtub Boy. Whenever there's a terror-related arrest, he's right there to ridicule it. Like he did with the Fort Dix plotters, the "morons", according to Olby. The "supposed plot" doesn't "hold together that well", he ruled. It was just a "dubious fantasy". But what do you know? The first of the Fort Dix Six today entered a plea of guilty. And all of sudden Edward R Olbermoronn has nothing to say on the subject. Not a word. This is why we call it The Hour of Spin.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #12,433 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #6,552. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome dropped to #87,151; O'Reilly's book is #2,428 there,--and it's now out in paperback! Amazon lists the paperback at #372, while the paperback edition of Oralmann's book is, well, only a gleaming wish in Krazy Keith's eye. On Tuesday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann eked out a second place finish again, but still lost overwhelmingly to the eeevil O'Reilly, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 7 [HIGH]
Another opening, another spiel: Barack "gets tough" with Hillary, but that presents "problems", like Obama's anti-gay preacher pal. Giuliani "joined at the hip" with Bush and that will "sink" him. Plus FEMA, baseball, and more. It's a blue Monday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Iowa moves up its caucus as Obama gets tough on Hill. Edwards is "painting" Hillary as an insider. State polls are close. Olby immediately said Obama criticizing Madame Clinton is "a double-edged sword" and plugged tomorrow's MSLSD debate. Then he brought up the preacher who claimed he's "cured" of homosexuality, and The Wolffe Man simpered that Barack has "tied himself in knots". Great thanks.
Next, Project Rudy. He's a Bush clone! He's a Cheney clone! Next thing, Merkle will claim he's a Ted Bundy clone. He's an authoritarian! He'll torture! As lefty Robinson parrotted OlbySpin, Oralmann waxed philosophical about people who are so dumb as to favor Rudy's policies. Great thanks.
#4: FEMA Fakes! Wait, wasn't this also #4 last Friday? Well yeah, but that dead horse still has a few floggings left in it. Cronyism! Nepotism! Low standards! "Mister" Bush is focusing on "replenishing his coffers". The "Bush doctrine" is "preemptive stupidity". So the architect of the phony presser will not get a planned appointment, and to chew it over we had another episode of Dirty Olby and Crazy Larry. (See The List!) Olbermahn referenced "the Bush habit of promoting failures upwardly". Ah, that great wordsmith, ever so careful to specify promoting upwardly, as opposed to promoting downwardly. Great thanks.
After a passing attack on Fred Thompson we got #3: Baseball--finally a topic on which Merkle has a modicum of competence. #2: Oprah, O.J. #1: Bigfoot bears or something.
In the Media Matters Minute, Bathtub Boy attacked his bete noir, the eeevil O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). Plus the "right wing" [Ding!] "lunatic fringer" [Ding!] David Horowitz (Blue Blog Source: Talking Points Memo) and the Department of Homeland Security. Deja vu all over again.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name sunk to #25,196 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #5,483. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome dropped to #86,126; O'Reilly's book is #2,528 there,--and it's now out in paperback! Amazon lists the paperback at #297, while the paperback edition of Oralmann's book is, well, nonexistent. On Friday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann finally eked out a second place finish, but of course he still lost overwhelmingly to the eeevil O'Reilly, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]
PRES. BUSH'S DOMESTIC AND INTERNATIONAL ISSUES: Howard Fineman, Newsweek senior Washington correspondent and MSNBC political analyst; Flynt Leverett, New America Foundation senior fellow and fmr. National Security Council senior director for Middle East Affairs
MORE BILL O'REILLY CONTROVERSY: Rachel Maddow, Air America radio host
CELEBRITY LATEST: Michael Musto, Village Voice
Keith P Ottermann chanted the opening spell: Confundus! Bush Petulancy! 7-Year Old! Dissendium! Fraud! Scourgify! Bisexuality! Morsmorde! It's Harry Potter Day at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Petulance! Rubber Stamp! [Ding!] Blank Check! [Ding!] Ghosts! Provocative! Howard Finnegan and Marcus Flynt Leverett reinforced the powerful majick of P Ottermann's incantations. Langlock!
#4: FEMA Fakes! Jeff Gannon! [Ding!] Nitwits! Propaganda! E.J. Dionne joined the mystic circle. Ferula!
#3: Olbsession! (Sacred Scroll Source: Think Progress!) Incestuous amplification! Rachel Muggle, from Err America (she hasn't been on The Hour of Spin since... well, since the last show Olby did). Together they took unproven allegations as fact and spoke again and again of the eeevil O'Rowley. Racist! Mackris! Double Mackris! Right-Wing! [Ding!] Hypocrisy! Falafel! [Ding!] Psychological Treatment! Fox Noise! [Ding!] Cistem Aperio!
Fidelius!
#2: Di, Kidman. #1: Humorous Britney exchanges with the castle's resident jester, Merlin Musto. Rictusempra!
In the nightly reading from the Book of Curses and Counter-Curses: Glenn Beck (Sacred Scroll Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters), and worst, Dana Perino (Sacred Scroll Source: Daily Kos, Keith's favorite charity). Oppugno! Another week of battling the dark forces behind him, Keith P Ottermann left Koswarts for a weekend with Katy Bell Tur. Evanesco!
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 16 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC six times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -32 [Dumbledore limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name sunk to #23,349 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,296. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome dropped to #57,167; O'Reilly's book is #2,611 there,--and it's now out in paperback! Amazon lists it at #199, while the paperback edition of Oralmann's screed is at... um, let's see, it's at... oh wait, never mind. There is no paperback edition. On Wednesday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann again came in a poor third, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Evanesco! Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 7 [HIGH]
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Guest Host: David Shuster
Topics/Guests:
U.S. IMPOSES SANCTIONS ON IRAN: Joe Cirincione, Center for American Progress senior fellow and author of Bomb Scare; Chris Cillizza, Washingtonpost.com national political reporter
PROBLEMS FOR RUDY GIULIANI: Wayne Barrett, Village Voice senior editor and author of Grand Illusion: The Untold Story of Rudy Giuliani and 9/11
MARIE OSMOND BLAMES THE FIRES FOR HER FAINTING SPELL: Christian Finnegan, VH-1's Best Week Ever
Olbermoronn is on the warpath, Malkin's latest just heightened his wrath.
He's not up to the struggle,
It's too much for a muggle.
So tonight Olby soaks in his bath.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
IRAQ WAR AFFECTING ABILITY TO FIGHT FIRES IN CALIFORNIA: Â Brian Williams, managing editor and host of 'NBC Nightly News'; Lt. Gov. John Garamendi (D-Calif.)
REPUBLICAN PARTY: Rachel Maddow, Air America radio host
2008 ELECTION: Dana Milbank, Washington Post national political reporter and MSNBC political analyst
Burn, baby, burn! It's another opening spiel: "Fox Noise" [Ding!], yada yada. Sigh, it's a wearisome hump day at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Bush administration was "warned" about the dangers of fires. Yeah, and so? Olby's Big Question: Isn't the Iraq war hindering efforts against the fire? Because, after all, 3,000 of 17,000 CA guardsmen are overseas. Yep, you got the Talking Point of the night. Brian Williams suffered the indignity of having to talk to Fat Ass, but--and this is intriguing--as soon as Williams came on the screen, all the talk about Iraq, conspiracies, it's Bush's fault, etc, suddenly disappeared. They spoke only of the facts of the fires and how the effort is going.
Did Brian tell Olby he wouldn't stand for any of that crap, or was Herr Olbermann afraid that Brian might not tow the OlbyPlanet line? Either way, Krazy Keith was put in his place by a real journalist.
Next up was Garamendi: Olby asked a question and the guy spouted off incredible run-on jumbo paragraphs of talking points. Note how his answers were almost verbatim the same words he tried to use in an earlier interview:
Quite a different exchange than the one with "journalist" Edward R Olbermann, who acted like nothing more than a microphone stand as Garamendi prattled, and who could only snark about the President's "photo-op kit". (Wasn't he whining that the President did not get on the ground soon enough during Katrina? This is called Olbypocrisy.) Great thanks.
Oh, we almost forgot: yes, we have updated The List. Check it out.
Another reference to "terrorpublicans" [Ding!] (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos) led into #4: the terrorpublicans [Ding!] and the obligatory attack on "Fox Noise" [Ding!] (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). Has the US government prevented any terror attacks? Why no, sez Olbermoronn. Even the Library Tower attack was a phony, a story he has repeated over and over, because Merkle is, as we know, a liar:
Rachel Maddow of Err America was there to participate in Krazy Keith's incestuous amplification, ramping it up by lying that Fox reported that "Al Qaeda started the fires". Olby was so worked up he almost soiled himself. "Terrorpublicans" [Ding!]. "Mister" Bush. "Who is George Bush kidding?" Bush is in a "bubble" [Ding!], and the "bubble" [Ding!] makes him a "bubble-head" [Ding!]. Great thanks.
#3: Project Rudy: how dare the "obnoxious" Giuliani root for the Boston Red Sox? Yes, this was an entire segment on The Hour of Spin. Oh and Romney mistakenly referred to UBL as Barrack Obama. According to Oralmann that means he's too stupid to be in office. Of course this got covered because you remember all the interviews and analysis Keithy Boy indulged in when Ted Kennedy made a similar flub. You don't? Oh, sorry.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name sunk to #20,268 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,682. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome dropped to #56,578; O'Reilly's book is #2,423 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Tuesday the fires inflated cable news ratings, but while the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann did get a bump, that rising tide lifted all boats, so not only did Olby lose to the eeevil O'Reilly, he came in a poor third both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
THE FEAR CARD: Richard Wolffe, MSLSD
GO-GO-GONZALES: John McKay
GOP POLITICS: Craig Crawford
HARRY POTTER IS ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT: Sure he is
Keith Oralmann barked the opening spiel: It's the "fear card": money "the fund the deaths of Americans", the Veep "comes out of his cave", Valerie Plame (again), Gonzales (again), GOP debate, wildfires, and more. It's blue Monday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: The "third world war" [Ding!]. Cheney the "dark Lord" "rattling sabres". Will Democrats "rubber stamp" funding request? The Wolffe Man simpered that they're throwing in the towel. Olby referenced the "terrorpublicans" (that's so stupid it gets a [Ding!]). Of course he lifted it from elsewhere (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos). Valerie Plame's identity was revealed by "aides to both Bush and Cheney". Um, her name was revealed by an aide to Colin Powell. That part of the story is censored on OlbyPlanet. Regurgitated video of VP, plus plug for her on The Hour of Spin tomorrow. Gonzo again; a fired US Attorney thinks AG could be prosecuted. News. Other fired US Attorneys disagree. Not news.
#4: GOP Presidential politics. The "far right [Ding!] of the far rights [Ding!]". OlbyLogic analyzes the debate: criticizing Hillary is bad politics because it helps her. Olbermann's Brain chortled, sniggered, and cackled. Great thanks.
#3: California fires via taped report; Keithy Great Thanksed the tape. #2: Ellen and her dog, Kid Rock . #1: The politics of Harry Potter. We would have preferred the psychology of an allegedly grown man who obsesses over baseball cards and kiddie books. Not that it mattered much, as the highly intellectual discussion was cut off prematurely when somebody at MSLSD mercifully pulled the plug, leaving the last minute or two with nothing but color bars and an audio test tone.
In the Media Matters Minute it was another trifecta: every victim was an (R) or a Fox employee. Glenn Beck (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters), National Review (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress), and Bill O'Reilly. Hold it, stop the tivo! What's this? Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly?!? Hey did we call it, or what?!!
Oh, Fat Ass also crowed about "beating" O'Reilly (actually an O'Reilly rerun) in a phony inflated demo that MSNBC itself doesn't even use. Merkle lost in the true numbers. We'll leave it up to you whether to count this as Another Olbermann Lie.
Dogs That Did Not Bark:
Michael Murphy. Of course if he had put underwear on someone's head or gunned down a few civilians Edward R Olbermoronn would have flogged the story for days. Instead, nothing. Disgraceful.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #10,478 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,581. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome sinking to #55,522; O'Reilly's book is #2,404 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Friday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann bordered on pulling off a coup. Yeah he lost horrendously to Mr Bill, almost, nearly, not quite finishing first in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Hold it, O'Reilly wasn't on Friday; they reran an old show. Oh well. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 5 [ELEVATED]
Happening now. The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann will smear the participants tomorrow with cherry-picked video blipverts, so get your reactions to the proceedings in now.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
REPUBLICANS IN THE 2008 ELECTION: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek senior White House correspondent and MSNBC political analyst; Arianna Huffington, huffingtonpost.com editor
"BROKEN GOVERNMENT": John Dean, fmr. Nixon White House counsel and author of "Broken Government"
JOE TORRE SPEAKS: Bob Costas, NBC Sports
LATEST BRITNEY SPEARS NEWS: Paul F. Tompkins, VH-1 contributor and comedian
It's an end-of-the-week spiel: "lunatic fringe" [Ding!], "right wing" [Ding!], Limbaugh (again!), another O'Reilly attack (again!), Joe Torre, Britney (again!).... It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: OlbyPlanet wish fulfillment: "theocrats" will split the GOP, electing a Dem. KO Kandidate Kapsules: Giuliani is "twice-divorced", Mitt Romney is "a Mormon", McCain is "sucking up", yada yada yada. The Wolffe Man simpered about the "narrow" values of the "Tony Perkins crowd". Oralmann declared McCain's speech to the values voters inappropriate: a "senior express moment". Great thanks.
Then it was on to attacking Limbaugh (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). Again. It's S-Chip. Again. Captain, the space time continuum seems to be caught in an endless loop! Herr Olbermoronn introduced Arianna Huffington as "my friend" and a full segment of Rush attacks ("idiot", "failed baseball executive") followed. He's attacking 12-year-old boys "and I'm not talking about Foley or Craig", bellowed Merkle to Zsa Zsa. Geez, Bathman. To paraphrase your sidekick The Boy Wonder, why this obsession over Rush? When did a Rush comment ever kill anyone? No mention made of the millions Rush just raised for charity, and will match out of his own pocket. Isn't that news? Not on OlbyPlanet. Great thanks.
#4: Olbermann's Criminal Rehabilitation Program convened another meeting with its star member, felon John Dean. It didn't take long for the obligatory comparison: "Nixon!" [Ding!] Great thanks. #3: Joe Torre discussion with Olby and his sidekick Costas. #2: David Copperfield, Lindsay Lohan, Brokeback Mountain. #1: Britney Spears.
The Media Matters Minute: Attack on O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). His crime? He had guests on his show who disagreed with him and actually criticized him! Why is that so stunning? It isn't, but we can see how it would be to someone who broadcasts from the sheltered echo chamber of OlbyPlanet. Worst: "lunatic fringe" [Ding!]Hugh Hewitt (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress).
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 19 times. Olby's source (Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC nine times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -38 [wet noodle limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #15,888 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,752. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome sinking to #54,809; O'Reilly's book is #2,186 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Thursday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olb
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