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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Something Olbermann This Way Comes: The Supreme Court stole the election from Gore, who won the Peace Prize. Obama vs Hillary. Sanchez blasts Bush. Another Democrat interviewed. Another O'Reilly attack. It's televised Sominex, but we'll liven things up with our weekly assessment of Keith Olbermann's masculinity. It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Gore wins Nobel. Top Story! Big News! Oh, and apropos of nothing, "Mister" Bush is the "worst President ever!" Olby brings up Gore's Oscar-winning "documenterary". Lefty Alter said he won't run for Prez, but his endorsement would have meaning. Great thanks.
Barack criticizes Hillary. Milbank, absent awful accutrements, knew what to say: it's "desperation" by Obama, while Olby dragged out the old standby, a "rookie mistake". KO defended Hillary's plan to start her foreign policy before she is sworn in, and dispensed the ritual Great Thanks.
#4: Gen Sanchez speaks against the progress of the war. Secretary Rice re Iran. Of course, the only opinion sought by Herr Olbermahn was from a Democrat Presidential candidate, Bill Richardson. Are you still checking The List? Just updated tonight. It's why they call Keithy's partisan hack fest The Hour of Spin. Tough questions pummelled by Edward R Olbermahn included: "Your reactions to Gen Sanchez's remarks today? If you'd be so kind." "How do you propose to fix the damage that 'Mister' Bush has done to the military". Yada yada yada. Oh, Richardson was wearing a flag pin. Apparently Fat Ass forgot to berate him about it like he did Lou Dobbs. Richardson was both Great Thanksed and Pleasured.
#3: Another O'Reilly attack (a genuine no-prize to whomever knows which number this is). The latest wrinkle is Olbermahn's exploitation of the Hornbeck family to further his diseased Olbsession. Geez, Keithy. To paraphrase your sidekick The Boy Wonder, why this obsession over O'Reilly? When did an O'Reilly comment ever kill someone? You do remember this, right?
It's one thing to turn commentary about an ongoing investigation into part of Monkeymann's paranoid ravings about O'Reilly; that's the kind of voodoo journalism that has vaulted the discredited baseball card collector into his position of miserable ratings and low esteem. But to drag the Hornbeck family onto the air and try to force words in their mouth is something else all together. For Oralmann to try his traditional ventriloquist routine with them--under these circumstances--is the mark of a swine. And thus just another day at the office for the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann.
#2: Anna Nicole Smith, Britney Spears. #1: Knee-slapping hilarity with Mo Rocca. In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermann attacked Terry Jeffrey of the "lunatic fringe" [Ding!] Human Events (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). His crime? He said Ann Coulter is not antisemitic. Geez, Bathman, there are Jewish writers who agree with him, but of course you know better. Worst person was (yawn!) you-know-who (Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars). Left-wing smears, direct from the web page to Bathtub Boy's teleprompter. Only on OlbyPlanet.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. During this four-day week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 25 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC four times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -50 [ultra-limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name plummeted #25,315 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" has risen to #668. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble lists the OlbyTome at #44,290; O'Reilly's book is #2,037 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. "Chicken and Waffles" Olbermann benefitted from CNN fill-in programming on Thursday. Mr Merkle came in second, though he still lost overwhelmingly to his nemesis the eeevil Mr Bill, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]