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Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith P Ottermann chanted the opening spell: Confundus! Bush Petulancy! 7-Year Old! Dissendium! Fraud! Scourgify! Bisexuality! Morsmorde! It's Harry Potter Day at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Petulance! Rubber Stamp! [Ding!] Blank Check! [Ding!] Ghosts! Provocative! Howard Finnegan and Marcus Flynt Leverett reinforced the powerful majick of P Ottermann's incantations. Langlock!
#4: FEMA Fakes! Jeff Gannon! [Ding!] Nitwits! Propaganda! E.J. Dionne joined the mystic circle. Ferula!
#3: Olbsession! (Sacred Scroll Source: Think Progress!) Incestuous amplification! Rachel Muggle, from Err America (she hasn't been on The Hour of Spin since... well, since the last show Olby did). Together they took unproven allegations as fact and spoke again and again of the eeevil O'Rowley. Racist! Mackris! Double Mackris! Right-Wing! [Ding!] Hypocrisy! Falafel! [Ding!] Psychological Treatment! Fox Noise! [Ding!] Cistem Aperio!
#2: Di, Kidman. #1: Humorous Britney exchanges with the castle's resident jester, Merlin Musto. Rictusempra!
In the nightly reading from the Book of Curses and Counter-Curses: Glenn Beck (Sacred Scroll Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters), and worst, Dana Perino (Sacred Scroll Source: Daily Kos, Keith's favorite charity). Oppugno! Another week of battling the dark forces behind him, Keith P Ottermann left Koswarts for a weekend with Katy Bell Tur. Evanesco!
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 16 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC six times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -32 [Dumbledore limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name sunk to #23,349 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,296. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome dropped to #57,167; O'Reilly's book is #2,611 there,--and it's now out in paperback! Amazon lists it at #199, while the paperback edition of Oralmann's screed is at... um, let's see, it's at... oh wait, never mind. There is no paperback edition. On Wednesday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann again came in a poor third, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Evanesco! Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 7 [HIGH]