Countdown with Keith Olbermann - November 30, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
2008 ELECTION: Eugene Robinson, Washington Post senior editor and MSNBC political analyst
IRAQ AND THE SURGE: Jon Soltz, votevets.org chairman and Iraq war veteranÂ
Project Rudy! Mitt Romney! Murtha taken "out of context"! "House of Scandal"! [Ding!] The latest O'Reilly personal attack! (yawn) It's casual Friday--and Think Progress Night--at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Project Rudy keeps on rolling. How odd that Oralmann would soak in his bathtub rather than report on Bill Clinton's amorous adventures, but he bellows about Giuliani's affairs day after day after day. Why would that be? Lefty Jonathan Alter was the designated sock puppet. Olby lied that "nobody's explaining" why obscure agencies were billed, when Rudy explained that to Katie Couric two days ago. But on OlbyPlanet, only one side of the story gets told, and the credulous loons who believe Olby's drivel don't know any better. It was even more laughable when the Karma-bitten Oralmann chuckled that Rudy has a "morality issue". Spoken like a true lover of cheap Merlot and cheaper hotel rooms. Great thanks.
Next, a hit on Mitt Romney, complete with a free running of an ad from a fringe pro-choice group attacking Mitt. No representation of Mitt's side. Of course. Then a lift from the Monkeymann research division (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress) and more Romney attacks from Robinson. Olby quoting Mitt:
OLBERMANN: Any Cuban wants to come here should be admitted here, no matter how they got here.
What Mitt actually said had nothing to do with "how they got here":
ROMNEY: I can tell you my inclination would be to say as many Cubans as want to come here should come in.
Get the difference? If you do, you just saw Another Olbermann Lie. Great thanks.
After a few words about the Hillary hostage taker, it was on to the "right wing lunatic blogosphere" [Ding!], the "lunatic fringe" [Ding!] and #4: the "right wing blogs" [Ding!] call Murtha a hypocrite. What blogs were those? Merkle didn't say. Neither did Soltz who did his Polly imitation to perfection. Olbermahn and his parrot painted the surge as something that, well, everyone knew would work militarily. Oh really?
Great thanks.
#3: House of Scandal! [Ding!] Condi Rice planted a question (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). Major News, quite unlike when certain Presidential (D) candidates plant questions, and Olby excuses them. Another lift (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress) Rove is a liar! (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). Crazy Lawrence O'Donnell makes yet another appearance, and we update The List! Olby declares that the "incompetent" Condi Rice is just another "Bush Boy". Hmmm. A Bush "boy"? Take that as you will. Great thanks.
#2: Julia Roberts, Evel Kneivel. #1: What's this? Another #@#&%(!^@ing personal attack on Bill O'Reilly? Olbermoronn's diseased envy drools from his chops like blood from the fangs of Dracula, and we aren't going to spend one more minute on this repellent spectacle.
In the Media Matters Minute, "Fixed News" [Ding!] and Bill O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Radar), plus "Fixed News" [Ding!], "Fixed Business News" [Ding!] (Blue Blog Source: TVNewser).
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 24 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 9 times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -48 [musto limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #1,576 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,562. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #138,937; O'Reilly's book is #659 there. On the battle of the papersbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #315, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #2,639. Guffaw! Thursday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss to You Know Who both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - November 28, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
GIULIANI AND THE 2008 ELECTION: Wayne Barrett, Village Voice senior editor and author of "Grand Illusion: The Untold Story of Rudy Giuliani and 9/11"; Dana Milbank, Washington Post national political reporter
FIREFIGHTER SPIES: Mike German, fmr. FBI agent who now is national security policy counsel to the ACLU
BRITNEY SPEARS IS PREGNANT AGAIN: Joel McHale, E!'s "The Soup"
Our hero Keith Oralmann bellowed the opening spiel: St. Rudy "linked" to Qutar! Project Rudy rolls on. Clinton was against the war "from the start". It must be true: Clinton said it! Blackwater! Firemen keeping an eye out for explosives and car bombs? Outrage! Oh, and the Daily Britney too. It's hump day at Olbermann Watch.
#5: A "ruinous revelation" about Giuliani. Welcome to OlbyPlanet's Wish Fulfillment Theater. Rudy has "ties to terror"! (Blue Blog Source: Talking Points Memo.) Hasn't Fat Ass been ridiculing all these terror threats? Well yeah, but when it comes to Project Rudy, Olbermoronn will reverse course faster than a professional skateboarder. Rudy-basher Barrett was back yet again for another smear job, with, of course, no one to represent the other side of the story. Hey, this is OlbyPlanet, after all. Roger Ailes! [Ding!] Great thanks.
Dana, sans splashy suits, was there to assess the "impact" of this monumental blockbuster. By the second sentence he was already referencing Rudy's "wives" [Ding!], so he'll be invited back. Merkle went on to claim Rudy "billed" (as yet unproven, but that's just a trivial distinction to Herr Olbermoronn) city government for trips to his girl friend. Uh-oh, Olby News Alert. He drops into his last question to DM Clinton's claim that he opposed the Iraq war from the start. KO cites a mealy-mouthed Clinton quote, but none of the ones that Clinton critics have raised--just one to make the best case possible that Bill wasn't in fact caught in a lie. Yep, that one question was the sum total of Olby's "coverage". No outrage. No calling Clinton a liar. No Special Education Komment. Man, it must be comfy in Billary's pocket. Great thanks.
#4: The Blackwater "massacre"! Far-left Michael Ratner is suing, so naturally every word he spoke was taken as gospel. It will surprise no one that Oralmann did not allow the other side of the story to be presented. Hey, this is OlbyPlanet, after all. Of course, the slip-and-fall lawyer was Great Thanksed.
#3: It used to be that people like Dan Olbermahn complained bitterly when government agencies didn't talk to each other and share info to help prevent terrorist attacks. But it's another about face, as tonight Fat Ass railed against firefighters keeping an eye out for evidence of terrorism. They're "politicizing firefighting"! The firemen might "plant evidence" to frame innocent people! They must be stopped! A slip-and-fall lawyer from the ACLU was there to explain why it was all so eeevil. Krazy Keith did not permit anyone in favor of the program to argue on its behalf. See a pattern here? It's that way night after night on The Hour of Spin--the full gamut of viewpoints, everything from A to B. Hey, this is OlbyPlanet, after all. Great thanks.
After "Fixed News" [Ding!] we got #2: Dancing with the Stars, O.J., Norman Lloyd, and, oh, KO's new book. #1: Britney Spears and more major breaking celebrinews.
In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermahn attacked "Fox Noise" [Ding!] and E.D. Hill (Blue Blog Source: ICN)--her crime, correcting an error. Yeah, we can see why that doesn't fly on OlbyPlanet. "Fox Noise" [Ding!]. Worser: VA GOP (Blue Blog Source: Carpetbagger Report). Worst: John Ashcroft (Blue Blog Source: Firedog Lake)
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #6,669 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #5,531. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #136,676; O'Reilly's book is #1,753 there. On the battle of the papersbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #405, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #5,680. Guffaw! Tuesday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss to You Know Who both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".
Will Keith Olbermann Have the Cajones to Call Out This Liar?
He loves to call "Mister" Bush a liar. He is the self-appointed monitor of Presidential lies. So will Keith Oralmann erupt with outrage tonight over this whopper? Place yer bets...
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - November 27th, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
POLITICS OF WAR AND PEACE: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek chief White House correspondent
PRES. BUSH AND STATE SECRETS: Jonathan Turley, George Washington University law professor
“WHO IS NORMAN LLOYDâ€: Norman Lloyd, actor and producer
President Bush flubs some names which means he wasn't really involved in the Middle East peace summit in Annapolis, MD, declares Der Fuhrer. Karl Rove "rewriting history" claiming that the Gulf War was "congress' war!" Zing! He's lying! Obviously. Spy games or something. Olbsession Bill-O attacked again for coming down on a vehemently anti American film while the network sells ad space for the movie (as if Bill ran the advertising department?). Laura Schlessinger too. Oh and Norman Lloyd. Another whiney night of the ferocious Keith Oralmann.
#5: 343 days until the next Presidential election. Thanks for the heads up, Fat Ass. I bet you've got it marked V-C day on your Calendar for Victory for Clinton. Mispronunciations are not the faux pas only of the dummy, supposedly. Not that Keith has ever mispronounced anything. Never. Ever. Like, last week. The President had a "cameo" at the peace conference in Annapolis. Olby, ever trying to demonstrate his superiority and his alpha male status, pronounces the two leaders' (Israel and the PLO) names correctly. Congratulations. Do you want a cookie? Maybe a bottle of merlot? I've got some really fancy merlot that cost me a hair more than pocket lint. Of course, this was all about a photo op. Wolffie makes a joke as he slides, mispronouncing Olbersturmfuhrer's name. Wolffe, probably unappreciated on OlbyPlanet, actually praises President Bush (before criticizing him) for engaging the peace process while declaring there had never been any involvement before. Some yammering about how the President isn't really involved, isn't doing hard work or something. WSJ cited by Olby. Great thanks. Whatever.
Karl Rove, aka Machiavelli [Ding!], "blames congress" for authorizing the war in Iraq. The Huff and Puff blows its way in to help Herr Olbermann out. Karl Rove's comments are the work of a "shameless, remorseless perhaps soulless political animal." Easy there, tiger. It's all about money, speaking engagements, etc. George Orwell and 1984 references referenced! [Ding!][Ding!] Eric Blair (George Orwell) should be suing Olby for copyright violations, says Jabba himself. "Is this not 1984?" [Ding!][Ding!][Ding!][Ding!] The bell broke. Even if Rove told the truth, he's still lying!
#4: The most yawn inducing segment with the ever dramatic Jonathan Turley. Snoooozzzeeeee. A "top Republican", Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA), is trying to stop the President from being able to do eeeevil secret things. Monkeys will fly out of the President's butt, apparently. Turley mentions his involvement in the "Area 51" case; oh that one! Right. Ever important. Judges are afraid. Of what, we do not know. No wait, they're lazy. Area 51. Reynolds. Lie. Privilege. New York Times. Supreme Court does not understand Turley's brilliance. Punish Alberto Gonzales! It's "rather clear" what the President ordered is a "federal crime." Turley has a wish, he wants to put the genie back in the bottle in terms of the "privilege." Great thanks and it was "most harrowing."
#3: All consuming Olbsession O'Reilly time. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Bill O'Reilly "attacking the USO." O'Reilly, unlike Olbermann, left his desk and went to Afghanistan. Do you know how many stories Olbermann has done outside of his office? Guess? Any? None! Zing! Oralmann needs to after "right wing" Laura Schlessinger. Is "O'Reilly drunk?" "He sounds drunk!" Lay off the bloody Merlot! Keith "Chicken and Waffles" Olbermann went on to highlight O'Reilly's entire show. You wonder why his ratings are up? Olby's? Well, there.....uh......limp. O'Reilly also wanted to kick Mark Cuban "in the basketballs!" HA! Penis/Testicle joke! I love those. I wonder what Katy thinks of them. More nonsense. Nothing to see here. Murdoch, Fox Noise [Ding!, O'Reilly, care only about the money. Not the troop.
#2: Keeping Tabs. Ouch. Politicians getting celebrity endorsements. HOLD THE MERLOT! WHAT IS THIS! KEITH, ARE YOU CONCERNED ONLY ABOUT THE MONEY? After drooling at the thought of reading Sen. Kennedy's memoirs which Mr. Kennedy will get millions for, out pops Fat Ass's book! You know, the one that he didn't write and is merely a compilation of all his Speshul Reeducation Komments.
#1: Norman Lloyd. They argue over who has admired whom longer. Vomit.
In the Media Maters minute, FBN for putting on the air an "online shopper" who was in fact an employee of the National Retail Federation. The NRF blamed fox, so did Olby. Naturally. Silver: FEMA for having a ringer (employee) as a questioner at another news conference (source: AP). Gold: Republican (obs) Mitt Romney! Would he put a muslim in his cabinet? Who knows, who cares? They do in loony tune land. Talking Points Memo.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's went through the roof to #24,365 at amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #7,749. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome crated at #134,674 at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,727 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Reliable numbers for Monday's hour of spin were unavailable, but you can rest easy believing O'Reilly walloped him. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]
How Long Will NBC Tolerate Keith Olbermann's Racist Comments?
John Gibson on Oralmann's latest Imus moment, Keith's ignorance of geography, the vicious blue blogs that support him, and that latest "worst person" nomination:
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - November 26, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
IRAQ OF AGES: Richard Wolffe, Thomas Ricks
TRENT LOTT: Eugene Robinson
HILLARY VS BARACK: Craig Crawford
Bush! Iraq! America for Sale! McClellan! (Again!) "GOP In Crisis"! [Ding!]. Trent Lott! Clinton! Obama! "Mister" Bush Photo-Op! [Ding!] Simpsons! It's a rainy day and a Monday, and if that isn't enough to get you down...Oralmann is back.
#5: "Mister" Bush signs away the constitution! "3-6-Pix" Olbermahn was off and running. Mister dares to side with the legally elected government of Iraq? Scandal! The Wolffe Man didn't exactly bite on Keith's Krazy Konspiracy that Bush is trying to install Maliki as a dictator. Oh, and McClellan! Great thanks.
Ricks chimed in: we can't win, we can't lose, we can't leave. Ricks contradicts Olbermann's lie that Petraeus's testimony was "vetted" by the White House. Oops, you don't do that on OlbyPlanet. KO slips and acknowledges a "calming down" in Iraq. A rather rocky segment for The Hour of Spin. With a Citizen Kane reference.
#4: Trent Lott "just became a former Senator". Oh really? Is Monkeymann so inept that he can't even read a simple headline? But then again we know Merkle has chronology issues (BC, AD, whatever!). Nixon! [Ding!] Strom Thurmond redux. Lott's reasons are "ridiculous". Republicans famous for buying seats in Congress.
#3: Clinton vs Obama. Olby, worried that Hillary may be on the defensive, played up a phony issue about Obama funding that pales in comparison with, say, Buddhist temples and Norman Hsu, neither of which gets much play on OlbyPlanet. KO got Olbermann's Brain to agree with him that Oprah will backfire because so many people dislike her. Well, misogynists and racists do anyhow, right Keith? A little Rudy hit and then it was...Great thanks.
#2: Bragging about his Simpsons appearance. He actually ran the entire segment! (Why did Fox give Fat Ass permission to run the clip anyhow?) Then a replay of his WPitNFL from Sunday! (Somehow he avoided his ignorant faux pas about the Rocky Mountains.) #1: Nobel winners at the White House.
In the Media Matters Minute, it was "Bathtub Head" [Ding!] Gibson (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress), Rudy Giuliani (Blue Blog Source: HuffPo), and the NY Post (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress).
Dogs That Did Not Bark: For months Oralmann has been promoting, covering for, propagandizing on behalf of, and generally slobbering over Hillary Clinton and how strong she runs and how badly she will beat the Republican, whoever it is. But Fat Ass only cites poll numbers when they are on his side. If those pesky citizens find their sympathies swaying in a different direction, the story will always be spiked on OlbyPlanet. So it is today, as a shift in the polls finds Hillary on the losing end of the electoral stick. And, predictably, The Hour of Spin is wholly, utterly silent.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #21,504 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #6,026. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #132,077; O'Reilly's book is #1,499 there. On the battle of the papersbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #511, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #24,810. Guffaw! On Wednesday Keith's plans to be King of Kable faced another roadblock, as he lost to the O'Kasich Factor both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 9 [SEVERE]
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - November 23, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests: there aren't any. On A-Mess-NBC nothing says Happy Holidays like endless rerun hours of prison shows and sexual predators. So Olby is off soaking tonight.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. In this 3-day week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 16 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC twice, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -32 [limp]
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #16,502 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #7,958. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #131,309; O'Reilly's book is #2,420 there. In the battle of the paperbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #321, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #27,753. Chortle!
John Gibson's Instant Response to Keith Olbermann's Latest Attacks!
On the radio tonight, John Gibson wasted no time reacting to Keith Oralmann, who attacked Gibby tonight in the "worst person" segment. The spontaneous reprisal came after a few minutes' discussion on Bathtub Boy's "qualifications" to do political analysis and his track record of honesty and accuracy. Oh, and it is noted how Keithy's use of "Bathtub Head" shows that he does in fact read a certain blog (which is still the #1 Keith Olbermann blog in the world):
LiveBlogging Countdown: Special Thanksgiving Eve Edition
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests: TBA
AN OLBERMANN WATCH SPECIAL!
TONIGHT!
Post your comments on the infamous, deplorable Keith Oralmann LIVE as the program airs. What better way to kick off a great American holiday than to give a good swift kick to an ingrate American demagogue? Threads open at 8:00 pm.
OPENING SPIEL: Typing at 7:57 but we'd be shocked if Scott McClellan didn't come up. After all, there's no such thing as flogging a story for just one day. [Ding!] What a shocker. And sure enough, Olby uses Bill O'Reilly's trip to Afghanistan against him. Another huge shocker. Says Al Franken went to Afghanistan this year? Say what? Not according to the USO.
#5: Now McClellan says Bush didn't lie. Olby can't take that even though it was obvious to actual journalists (as opposed to baseball card collectors) that McClellan never said Bush lied in the first place.
Keithy is now talking to the Congressionally certified liar Joey Wilson. Funny how Olby is all of a sudden taking every word Scott McClellan says as gospel. Why it wasn't that long ago that Oralmann insisted that Scott was a "shameful, treasonous" liar. The instant rehabilitation of McClellan, as seen only on OlbyPlanet. It's a cover-up! [Ding!] Willy thinks it's an impeachable offense! Bush committed treason! Why isn't John Dean on tonight? Did he have to see his parole officer?
Uh oh. The Perfessor isn't exactly biting on Olby's latest gimmick: get Fitzgerald to re-open the Plame case! Remember, Fat Ass, it was the Lewinsky case that put you in the bathtub.
Amazing, almost 15 minutes into the show, it's all about the Plame leak, and the name Richard Armitage, the actual leaker, has not been mentioned at all!
#4: O'Reilly attack #372. He dared to ask the USO to send more famous people to Afghanistan. Olby rattled off a list of people who visited in 2006. Unfortunately O'Reilly was talking about 2007 (see Toby Keith's name on there, Olbermoronn?), not 2006. So Merkle's entire spiel was based on: Another Olbermann Lie. Oh wow, now KO starts piling up stats about all the OTHER countries the USO sent people to, when O'Reilly was in fact talking about one country (Afghanistan) and one year (2007). What a sleazy, slovenly hack this Olbermann guy is.
What happened to the mother of the injured soldier who was supposed to be on? Not political enough, eh? So the votevets political hack came on instead, with the double benefit that he could attack O'Reilly at the same time! Of course the substance of what O'Reilly said was glossed over--because O'Reilly told the truth! So smear him with more Olbermann Lies. Ooh, Soltz said chickenhawk! [Ding!]
OlbyPlug: Turkey pardoning does not go all the way back to Truman, as claimed by Bush. Another "Bush lies" mantra, this time about Turkeys? OK, Oralmann, bring it on. We're ready for you on this one.
#3: Some of the Romney push-poll calls went to voters on the Romney payroll. That's a "new revelation"? Hotair was reporting that last week! Well, it's new to OlbyPlanet. Olbermann's Brain shows up. Let the sniggering and chortling begin. Keith defends the push-pollers because Romney's religion is something people have reason to be concerned about. Two sentences given to Hillary's declining voter margin.
Oh, a John Gibson attack. What a coincidence, one just happened to show up on Monkeymann's favorite Blue Blog Source. What are the odds that his attack and the Blue Blog attack will be, like, the same thing?
#2: Marie Osmond on Dancing with the Stars (the second Mormon attacked by Keith tonight--what are the odds?). William Shatner not in the new Trek movie (wasn't this news about three or four weeks ago?!?).
Worst persons: KellyAnne Conway, "water-carrier" [Ding!], "lunatic fringe" [Ding!] "race hatred" [Ding!]. She's a "racist" [Ding!]. Keith lectured her about the exception in the law for when English is essential to a job, ignorant as always that that very exception was what her discussion was all about! Olby called Gibby "Bathtub Head"! Hahahaa! How clever. How original. Fox Noise. [Ding!] OOps, Olby selected a different story from Hillary Clinton's Media Matters to lift. Well we got the Blue Blog Source right anyhow. Straight from their website to
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