"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• 2008 ELECTION: Eugene Robinson, Washington Post senior editor and MSNBC political analyst
• IRAQ AND THE SURGE: Jon Soltz, votevets.org chairman and Iraq war veteran 

Project Rudy! Mitt Romney! Murtha taken "out of context"! "House of Scandal"! [Ding!] The latest O'Reilly personal attack! (yawn) It's casual Friday--and Think Progress Night--at Olbermann Watch.

#5: Project Rudy keeps on rolling. How odd that Oralmann would soak in his bathtub rather than report on Bill Clinton's amorous adventures, but he bellows about Giuliani's affairs day after day after day. Why would that be? Lefty Jonathan Alter was the designated sock puppet. Olby lied that "nobody's explaining" why obscure agencies were billed, when Rudy explained that to Katie Couric two days ago. But on OlbyPlanet, only one side of the story gets told, and the credulous loons who believe Olby's drivel don't know any better. It was even more laughable when the Karma-bitten Oralmann chuckled that Rudy has a "morality issue". Spoken like a true lover of cheap Merlot and cheaper hotel rooms. Great thanks.

Next, a hit on Mitt Romney, complete with a free running of an ad from a fringe pro-choice group attacking Mitt. No representation of Mitt's side. Of course. Then a lift from the Monkeymann research division (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress) and more Romney attacks from Robinson. Olby quoting Mitt:

OLBERMANN: Any Cuban wants to come here should be admitted here, no matter how they got here.

What Mitt actually said had nothing to do with "how they got here":

ROMNEY: I can tell you my inclination would be to say as many Cubans as want to come here should come in.

Get the difference? If you do, you just saw Another Olbermann Lie. Great thanks.

After a few words about the Hillary hostage taker, it was on to the "right wing lunatic blogosphere" [Ding!], the "lunatic fringe" [Ding!] and #4: the "right wing blogs" [Ding!] call Murtha a hypocrite. What blogs were those? Merkle didn't say. Neither did Soltz who did his Polly imitation to perfection. Olbermahn and his parrot painted the surge as something that, well, everyone knew would work militarily. Oh really?

Great thanks.

#3: House of Scandal! [Ding!] Condi Rice planted a question (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). Major News, quite unlike when certain Presidential (D) candidates plant questions, and Olby excuses them. Another lift (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress) Rove is a liar! (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). Crazy Lawrence O'Donnell makes yet another appearance, and we update The List! Olby declares that the "incompetent" Condi Rice is just another "Bush Boy". Hmmm. A Bush "boy"? Take that as you will. Great thanks.

#2: Julia Roberts, Evel Kneivel. #1: What's this? Another #@#&%(!^@ing personal attack on Bill O'Reilly? Olbermoronn's diseased envy drools from his chops like blood from the fangs of Dracula, and we aren't going to spend one more minute on this repellent spectacle.

In the Media Matters Minute, "Fixed News" [Ding!] and Bill O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Radar), plus "Fixed News" [Ding!], "Fixed Business News" [Ding!] (Blue Blog Source: TVNewser).

If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 24 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 9 times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -48 [musto limp].

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #1,576 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,562. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #138,937; O'Reilly's book is #659 there. On the battle of the papersbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #315, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #2,639. Guffaw! Thursday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss to You Know Who both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• GIULIANI AND THE 2008 ELECTION: Wayne Barrett, Village Voice senior editor and author of "Grand Illusion: The Untold Story of Rudy Giuliani and 9/11"; Dana Milbank, Washington Post national political reporter
• FIREFIGHTER SPIES: Mike German, fmr. FBI agent who now is national security policy counsel to the ACLU
• BRITNEY SPEARS IS PREGNANT AGAIN: Joel McHale, E!'s "The Soup"

Our hero Keith Oralmann bellowed the opening spiel: St. Rudy "linked" to Qutar! Project Rudy rolls on. Clinton was against the war "from the start". It must be true: Clinton said it! Blackwater! Firemen keeping an eye out for explosives and car bombs? Outrage! Oh, and the Daily Britney too. It's hump day at Olbermann Watch.

#5: A "ruinous revelation" about Giuliani. Welcome to OlbyPlanet's Wish Fulfillment Theater. Rudy has "ties to terror"! (Blue Blog Source: Talking Points Memo.) Hasn't Fat Ass been ridiculing all these terror threats? Well yeah, but when it comes to Project Rudy, Olbermoronn will reverse course faster than a professional skateboarder. Rudy-basher Barrett was back yet again for another smear job, with, of course, no one to represent the other side of the story. Hey, this is OlbyPlanet, after all. Roger Ailes! [Ding!] Great thanks.

Dana, sans splashy suits, was there to assess the "impact" of this monumental blockbuster. By the second sentence he was already referencing Rudy's "wives" [Ding!], so he'll be invited back. Merkle went on to claim Rudy "billed" (as yet unproven, but that's just a trivial distinction to Herr Olbermoronn) city government for trips to his girl friend. Uh-oh, Olby News Alert. He drops into his last question to DM Clinton's claim that he opposed the Iraq war from the start. KO cites a mealy-mouthed Clinton quote, but none of the ones that Clinton critics have raised--just one to make the best case possible that Bill wasn't in fact caught in a lie. Yep, that one question was the sum total of Olby's "coverage". No outrage. No calling Clinton a liar. No Special Education Komment. Man, it must be comfy in Billary's pocket. Great thanks.

#4: The Blackwater "massacre"! Far-left Michael Ratner is suing, so naturally every word he spoke was taken as gospel. It will surprise no one that Oralmann did not allow the other side of the story to be presented. Hey, this is OlbyPlanet, after all. Of course, the slip-and-fall lawyer was Great Thanksed.

#3: It used to be that people like Dan Olbermahn complained bitterly when government agencies didn't talk to each other and share info to help prevent terrorist attacks. But it's another about face, as tonight Fat Ass railed against firefighters keeping an eye out for evidence of terrorism. They're "politicizing firefighting"! The firemen might "plant evidence" to frame innocent people! They must be stopped! A slip-and-fall lawyer from the ACLU was there to explain why it was all so eeevil. Krazy Keith did not permit anyone in favor of the program to argue on its behalf. See a pattern here? It's that way night after night on The Hour of Spin--the full gamut of viewpoints, everything from A to B. Hey, this is OlbyPlanet, after all. Great thanks.

After "Fixed News" [Ding!] we got #2: Dancing with the Stars, O.J., Norman Lloyd, and, oh, KO's new book. #1: Britney Spears and more major breaking celebrinews.

In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermahn attacked "Fox Noise" [Ding!] and E.D. Hill (Blue Blog Source: ICN)--her crime, correcting an error. Yeah, we can see why that doesn't fly on OlbyPlanet. "Fox Noise" [Ding!]. Worser: VA GOP (Blue Blog Source: Carpetbagger Report). Worst: John Ashcroft (Blue Blog Source: Firedog Lake)

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #6,669 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #5,531. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #136,676; O'Reilly's book is #1,753 there. On the battle of the papersbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #405, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #5,680. Guffaw! Tuesday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss to You Know Who both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".

He loves to call "Mister" Bush a liar. He is the self-appointed monitor of Presidential lies. So will Keith Oralmann erupt with outrage tonight over this whopper? Place yer bets...

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• POLITICS OF WAR AND PEACE: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek chief White House correspondent
• PRES. BUSH AND STATE SECRETS: Jonathan Turley, George Washington University law professor
• “WHO IS NORMAN LLOYD”: Norman Lloyd, actor and producer

President Bush flubs some names which means he wasn't really involved in the Middle East peace summit in Annapolis, MD, declares Der Fuhrer. Karl Rove "rewriting history" claiming that the Gulf War was "congress' war!" Zing! He's lying! Obviously. Spy games or something. Olbsession Bill-O attacked again for coming down on a vehemently anti American film while the network sells ad space for the movie (as if Bill ran the advertising department?). Laura Schlessinger too. Oh and Norman Lloyd. Another whiney night of the ferocious Keith Oralmann.

#5: 343 days until the next Presidential election. Thanks for the heads up, Fat Ass. I bet you've got it marked V-C day on your Calendar for Victory for Clinton. Mispronunciations are not the faux pas only of the dummy, supposedly. Not that Keith has ever mispronounced anything. Never. Ever. Like, last week. The President had a "cameo" at the peace conference in Annapolis. Olby, ever trying to demonstrate his superiority and his alpha male status, pronounces the two leaders' (Israel and the PLO) names correctly. Congratulations. Do you want a cookie? Maybe a bottle of merlot? I've got some really fancy merlot that cost me a hair more than pocket lint. Of course, this was all about a photo op. Wolffie makes a joke as he slides, mispronouncing Olbersturmfuhrer's name. Wolffe, probably unappreciated on OlbyPlanet, actually praises President Bush (before criticizing him) for engaging the peace process while declaring there had never been any involvement before. Some yammering about how the President isn't really involved, isn't doing hard work or something. WSJ cited by Olby. Great thanks. Whatever.

Karl Rove, aka Machiavelli [Ding!], "blames congress" for authorizing the war in Iraq. The Huff and Puff blows its way in to help Herr Olbermann out. Karl Rove's comments are the work of a "shameless, remorseless perhaps soulless political animal." Easy there, tiger. It's all about money, speaking engagements, etc. George Orwell and 1984 references referenced! [Ding!][Ding!] Eric Blair (George Orwell) should be suing Olby for copyright violations, says Jabba himself. "Is this not 1984?" [Ding!] [Ding!] [Ding!] [Ding!] The bell broke. Even if Rove told the truth, he's still lying!

#4: The most yawn inducing segment with the ever dramatic Jonathan Turley. Snoooozzzeeeee. A "top Republican", Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA), is trying to stop the President from being able to do eeeevil secret things. Monkeys will fly out of the President's butt, apparently. Turley mentions his involvement in the "Area 51" case; oh that one! Right. Ever important. Judges are afraid. Of what, we do not know. No wait, they're lazy. Area 51. Reynolds. Lie. Privilege. New York Times. Supreme Court does not understand Turley's brilliance. Punish Alberto Gonzales! It's "rather clear" what the President ordered is a "federal crime." Turley has a wish, he wants to put the genie back in the bottle in terms of the "privilege." Great thanks and it was "most harrowing."

#3: All consuming Olbsession O'Reilly time. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Bill O'Reilly "attacking the USO." O'Reilly, unlike Olbermann, left his desk and went to Afghanistan. Do you know how many stories Olbermann has done outside of his office? Guess? Any? None! Zing! Oralmann needs to after "right wing" Laura Schlessinger. Is "O'Reilly drunk?" "He sounds drunk!" Lay off the bloody Merlot! Keith "Chicken and Waffles" Olbermann went on to highlight O'Reilly's entire show. You wonder why his ratings are up? Olby's? Well, there.....uh......limp. O'Reilly also wanted to kick Mark Cuban "in the basketballs!" HA! Penis/Testicle joke! I love those. I wonder what Katy thinks of them. More nonsense. Nothing to see here. Murdoch, Fox Noise [Ding!, O'Reilly, care only about the money. Not the troop.

#2: Keeping Tabs. Ouch. Politicians getting celebrity endorsements. HOLD THE MERLOT! WHAT IS THIS! KEITH, ARE YOU CONCERNED ONLY ABOUT THE MONEY? After drooling at the thought of reading Sen. Kennedy's memoirs which Mr. Kennedy will get millions for, out pops Fat Ass's book! You know, the one that he didn't write and is merely a compilation of all his Speshul Reeducation Komments.

#1: Norman Lloyd. They argue over who has admired whom longer. Vomit.

In the Media Maters minute, FBN for putting on the air an "online shopper" who was in fact an employee of the National Retail Federation. The NRF blamed fox, so did Olby. Naturally. Silver: FEMA for having a ringer (employee) as a questioner at another news conference (source: AP). Gold: Republican (obs) Mitt Romney! Would he put a muslim in his cabinet? Who knows, who cares? They do in loony tune land. Talking Points Memo.

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's went through the roof to #24,365 at amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #7,749. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome crated at #134,674 at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,727 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Reliable numbers for Monday's hour of spin were unavailable, but you can rest easy believing O'Reilly walloped him. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]

John Gibson on Oralmann's latest Imus moment, Keith's ignorance of geography, the vicious blue blogs that support him, and that latest "worst person" nomination:

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• IRAQ OF AGES: Richard Wolffe, Thomas Ricks
• TRENT LOTT: Eugene Robinson
• HILLARY VS BARACK: Craig Crawford

Bush! Iraq! America for Sale! McClellan! (Again!) "GOP In Crisis"! [Ding!]. Trent Lott! Clinton! Obama! "Mister" Bush Photo-Op! [Ding!] Simpsons! It's a rainy day and a Monday, and if that isn't enough to get you down...Oralmann is back.

#5: "Mister" Bush signs away the constitution! "3-6-Pix" Olbermahn was off and running. Mister dares to side with the legally elected government of Iraq? Scandal! The Wolffe Man didn't exactly bite on Keith's Krazy Konspiracy that Bush is trying to install Maliki as a dictator. Oh, and McClellan! Great thanks.

Ricks chimed in: we can't win, we can't lose, we can't leave. Ricks contradicts Olbermann's lie that Petraeus's testimony was "vetted" by the White House. Oops, you don't do that on OlbyPlanet. KO slips and acknowledges a "calming down" in Iraq. A rather rocky segment for The Hour of Spin. With a Citizen Kane reference.

#4: Trent Lott "just became a former Senator". Oh really? Is Monkeymann so inept that he can't even read a simple headline? But then again we know Merkle has chronology issues (BC, AD, whatever!). Nixon! [Ding!] Strom Thurmond redux. Lott's reasons are "ridiculous". Republicans famous for buying seats in Congress.

#3: Clinton vs Obama. Olby, worried that Hillary may be on the defensive, played up a phony issue about Obama funding that pales in comparison with, say, Buddhist temples and Norman Hsu, neither of which gets much play on OlbyPlanet. KO got Olbermann's Brain to agree with him that Oprah will backfire because so many people dislike her. Well, misogynists and racists do anyhow, right Keith? A little Rudy hit and then it was...Great thanks.

#2: Bragging about his Simpsons appearance. He actually ran the entire segment! (Why did Fox give Fat Ass permission to run the clip anyhow?) Then a replay of his WPitNFL from Sunday! (Somehow he avoided his ignorant faux pas about the Rocky Mountains.) #1: Nobel winners at the White House.

In the Media Matters Minute, it was "Bathtub Head" [Ding!] Gibson (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress), Rudy Giuliani (Blue Blog Source: HuffPo), and the NY Post (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress).

Dogs That Did Not Bark: For months Oralmann has been promoting, covering for, propagandizing on behalf of, and generally slobbering over Hillary Clinton and how strong she runs and how badly she will beat the Republican, whoever it is. But Fat Ass only cites poll numbers when they are on his side. If those pesky citizens find their sympathies swaying in a different direction, the story will always be spiked on OlbyPlanet. So it is today, as a shift in the polls finds Hillary on the losing end of the electoral stick. And, predictably, The Hour of Spin is wholly, utterly silent.

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #21,504 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #6,026. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #132,077; O'Reilly's book is #1,499 there. On the battle of the papersbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #511, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #24,810. Guffaw! On Wednesday Keith's plans to be King of Kable faced another roadblock, as he lost to the O'Kasich Factor both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 9 [SEVERE]

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests: there aren't any. On A-Mess-NBC nothing says Happy Holidays like endless rerun hours of prison shows and sexual predators. So Olby is off soaking tonight.

If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. In this 3-day week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 16 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC twice, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -32 [limp]

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #16,502 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #7,958. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #131,309; O'Reilly's book is #2,420 there. In the battle of the paperbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #321, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #27,753. Chortle!

On the radio tonight, John Gibson wasted no time reacting to Keith Oralmann, who attacked Gibby tonight in the "worst person" segment. The spontaneous reprisal came after a few minutes' discussion on Bathtub Boy's "qualifications" to do political analysis and his track record of honesty and accuracy. Oh, and it is noted how Keithy's use of "Bathtub Head" shows that he does in fact read a certain blog (which is still the #1 Keith Olbermann blog in the world):

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests: TBA

AN OLBERMANN WATCH SPECIAL!

TONIGHT!

Post your comments on the infamous, deplorable Keith Oralmann LIVE as the program airs. What better way to kick off a great American holiday than to give a good swift kick to an ingrate American demagogue? Threads open at 8:00 pm.

OPENING SPIEL: Typing at 7:57 but we'd be shocked if Scott McClellan didn't come up. After all, there's no such thing as flogging a story for just one day. [Ding!] What a shocker. And sure enough, Olby uses Bill O'Reilly's trip to Afghanistan against him. Another huge shocker. Says Al Franken went to Afghanistan this year? Say what? Not according to the USO.

#5: Now McClellan says Bush didn't lie. Olby can't take that even though it was obvious to actual journalists (as opposed to baseball card collectors) that McClellan never said Bush lied in the first place.

Keithy is now talking to the Congressionally certified liar Joey Wilson. Funny how Olby is all of a sudden taking every word Scott McClellan says as gospel. Why it wasn't that long ago that Oralmann insisted that Scott was a "shameful, treasonous" liar. The instant rehabilitation of McClellan, as seen only on OlbyPlanet. It's a cover-up! [Ding!] Willy thinks it's an impeachable offense! Bush committed treason! Why isn't John Dean on tonight? Did he have to see his parole officer?

Uh oh. The Perfessor isn't exactly biting on Olby's latest gimmick: get Fitzgerald to re-open the Plame case! Remember, Fat Ass, it was the Lewinsky case that put you in the bathtub.

Amazing, almost 15 minutes into the show, it's all about the Plame leak, and the name Richard Armitage, the actual leaker, has not been mentioned at all!

#4: O'Reilly attack #372. He dared to ask the USO to send more famous people to Afghanistan. Olby rattled off a list of people who visited in 2006. Unfortunately O'Reilly was talking about 2007 (see Toby Keith's name on there, Olbermoronn?), not 2006. So Merkle's entire spiel was based on: Another Olbermann Lie. Oh wow, now KO starts piling up stats about all the OTHER countries the USO sent people to, when O'Reilly was in fact talking about one country (Afghanistan) and one year (2007). What a sleazy, slovenly hack this Olbermann guy is.

What happened to the mother of the injured soldier who was supposed to be on? Not political enough, eh? So the votevets political hack came on instead, with the double benefit that he could attack O'Reilly at the same time! Of course the substance of what O'Reilly said was glossed over--because O'Reilly told the truth! So smear him with more Olbermann Lies. Ooh, Soltz said chickenhawk! [Ding!]

OlbyPlug: Turkey pardoning does not go all the way back to Truman, as claimed by Bush. Another "Bush lies" mantra, this time about Turkeys? OK, Oralmann, bring it on. We're ready for you on this one.

#3: Some of the Romney push-poll calls went to voters on the Romney payroll. That's a "new revelation"? Hotair was reporting that last week! Well, it's new to OlbyPlanet. Olbermann's Brain shows up. Let the sniggering and chortling begin. Keith defends the push-pollers because Romney's religion is something people have reason to be concerned about. Two sentences given to Hillary's declining voter margin.

Oh, a John Gibson attack. What a coincidence, one just happened to show up on Monkeymann's favorite Blue Blog Source. What are the odds that his attack and the Blue Blog attack will be, like, the same thing?

#2: Marie Osmond on Dancing with the Stars (the second Mormon attacked by Keith tonight--what are the odds?). William Shatner not in the new Trek movie (wasn't this news about three or four weeks ago?!?).

Worst persons: KellyAnne Conway, "water-carrier" [Ding!], "lunatic fringe" [Ding!] "race hatred" [Ding!]. She's a "racist" [Ding!]. Keith lectured her about the exception in the law for when English is essential to a job, ignorant as always that that very exception was what her discussion was all about! Olby called Gibby "Bathtub Head"! Hahahaa! How clever. How original. Fox Noise. [Ding!] OOps, Olby selected a different story from Hillary Clinton's Media Matters to lift. Well we got the Blue Blog Source right anyhow. Straight from their website to Oralmann's teleprompter.

#1: Turkey pardoning did not go all the way back to 1947 and Harry Truman. Bush didn't tell the truth, but KO was oh-so-generous, saying you can't really Blame Bush for repeating a myth. (Apparently he figures all his blue blog buffs have tuned out by now). In fact, when he was President, Bill Clinton claimed the tradition went back all the way to the 1920s! Of course not mentioned on OlbyPlanet, from where we now happily escape.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• PRES. BUSH VS. CONGRESS: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek chief White House correspondent and MSNBC political analyst; Eugene Robinson, The Washington Post
• THE LATEST ON FOX NEWS AND RUDY GIULIANI: Arianna Huffington, huffingtonpost.com founder
• DEMOCRATIC DEBATE ANALYSIS: Joan Walsh, salon.com

It's an end of the week speil: Using troops as blackmail! Fox and O'Reilly again! Hillary! Barry Bonds! Lindsay Lohan! O'Reilly yet again! Sigh. Why couldn't Oralmann have taken today off? No matter, any time we catch Olby in a massive display of hypocrisy and revisionist history, it's time well spent. And we did it today! It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.

#5: True Democratic backbone on Iraq. (What, Fox isn't the lead story tonight? How'd that happen?) A good opportunity to play that NBC News report about how the surge is working. Oops, didn't make the cut. The Wolffeman, who is on so often he should get a co-host credit, did his usual simpering paraphrases of OlbySpin. Great Thanks.

Ridicule of Laura Bush's librarian program. "Mister" Bush's war. "Mister" Bush is hypocritical. "Mister" Bush is "psychotic". (See "projection".) Lefty Robinson explained Republican philosophy. Yeah. "Creeping fascism". Great thanks.

After Fixed News [Ding!] we got #4: Giuliaini/Fox "scandal"![Ding!] Olbermoronn bellowed that Mitt Romney "led a walkout" from a proposed Fox debate in Iowa (Another Olbermann Lie: the only candidate who had agreed to participate in the first place was Huckabee) and tried to tie it to the Giuliani lawsuit (AOL: it had nothing to do with it). The "wheels are coming off" [Ding!] for Giuliani. Rudy is "often" on Fox because he had 21 appearances there. What did Edward R Liar not mention? At least four other candidates had more Fox appearances than Giuliani did! Oops, can't let that slip out. Then it was on to the latest Krazy Keith Konspiracy: Fox used Bill O'Reilly to attack Judith Reagan because O'Reilly spoke out against the OJ Simpson book. He was "vicious", said Oralmann.

Stop the tivo! OLBYPOCRISY ALERT!! We have Keith Olbermann on tape bragging about how strongly he spoke against this book deal, and further complaining that O'Reilly was a coward for not speaking out against it enough. Now Merkle does a complete 180 and rewrites his own history! Now the OlbyPlanet Party Line is that Mr Bill went so overboard about the OJ book that he was "vicious" and carrying out some secret hit on Regan? Sorry Olby, you've been caught again and revealed as the hypocritical liar that you are. Why does anyone give a slovenly political hack like Monkeymann any credibility whatsoever?

Zsa Zsa claimed, like Olby with absolutely no evidence (in other words, they made it up), that Romney wouldn't debate on Fox in Iowa because of the alleged Giuliani connection. Andrea Mackris! [Ding!] Great thanks.

Then another O'Reilly attack: Bill criticized the movie "Redacted", but Fox ran ads for it during his commercials. That shows the "channel's hypocrisy" and reveals that O'Reilly is a "big fat flaming fraud". No Keith, you ignorant thumbtack. Maybe at MSLSD the drivel you mouth is dictated by the official position of MSLSD. But Fox is a channel that allows more than one opinion. O'Reilly's view of a movie is his view, not that of the channel itself or its sales department who accepted the ads. There are all sorts of views on Fox--admittedly a novel concept to someone who resides on OlbyPlanet but nonetheless true. And it is metaphysically impossible for every one of those views to be the views of FNC, because they all differ. So the "hypocrisy" you cite is all in your feeble little Kossified brain. If only you had allowed it to stay there.

#3: Democrats debate: Hillary was straightforward, Obama was flummoxed. That's a shocker. Hillary keeps improving. Hillary keeps getting better! Oralmann, get your head out of there! Lefty Alter was there to pile on the Hillary praise. Another shocker. Great thanks.

#2: Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears. #1: Barry Bonds. In the Media Matters Minute, it was a marvelous trifecta of dripping venom against Fox: Oliver North, Sean Hannity (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters), Bill O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). More smears direct from Brock's website to Merkle's teleprompter. Somebody tell Chuck Todd.

If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 38 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 8 times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -76 [pantywaist limp].

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #45,750 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,920. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #118,045; O'Reilly's book is #2,383 there. On the battle of the papersbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #474, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #38,083. Guffaw! On Thursday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann sunk all the way down to fourth place both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Hey, how's your latest jihad against Fox working out for you, Bathtub Boy? Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• DIZZONOR: Slippery Shuster on the great St. Rudy "scandal" and Judith Regan plus Bernard Kerik
• AN ABSENCE OF ACCOUNTABILITY: Dana Milbank on the same St. Rudy story
• BROKEN GOVERNMENT: Convicted felon

The great Fox lawsuit thanks to Judith Regan (plus Giuliani and Kerik! Konspiracy!). Carrying water or something [Ding!]. More something about Regan and pot. Slippery Shuster on the "burgeoning scandal." Senate Majority leader contemplates sessions of Congress over Thanksgiving, more "fodder for John Dean's broken government." Felon love, Olby style! Bad News for Bonds (baseball story, but I doubt Keith will get to interview Bonds - like last time). "Supporting the troops the real way and bringing them home." Sheriff Olbermann rides in to rescue some "bridge team" that held up an anti Bush sign. You bet Keith Oralmann has them covered. All that and more snoozing.

#5: Konspiracy theory about Judith Regan and lame analogy of the unraveling lawsuit and a "rotting onion." Ooh clever. Defamatory article in New York Post. Keith, using unsubstantiated self admitted "gossip", reports that an "executive at News Corp" told Judith Regan to "lie about her affair with Bernard Kerik" in order to protect his nomination as Homeland Security Secretary. Evidence? None. Unnamed McCain aide quoted because he/she went after St. Rudy. Mitt Romney spokesman adds to the pummeling. Nothing like Republicans going after the Saint. Welcome Slippery Shuster who, much to Herr Olbermann's delight, admits for "full disclosure" (like all those times Olby did Kos stories but never mentioned raising money for them) that Slippery used to work for Fox. Yeah, he did. Didn't last very long either. Somehow, he wound up on the lowest rated cable news outfit around.

Project Rudy continues as Keith lobs one of his usual, biased and loaded questions at his puppet. The gist being, did St. Rudy, then mayor, try to force New York City cable operators to carry Fox News for lucrative gain and thus some twisted connection to the relationship between Judith Regan and Bernard Kerik and a nomination to Homeland Security and lying and wait, what was I talking about? I forgot. Olby Konspiracy Theories don't hold my attention for very long. Slippery uses left wing Salon.com as a source. Another shocker. He then proceeds to describe the videogate scandal of Fox first asking John McCain to take down video from the Fox News debate and then, after supposedly only asking him, asking all the other candidates to do so. On top of that, Giuliani still has video from said debate up, definitely not "fair and balanced" says Robin. Usual unnamed sources used and a chance for him to "first report" that a rival campaign is going to use this against Mr. Giuliani. Brilliant journalism. I would never have thought any rival campaign would do that to get a Presidential nomination. Perhaps an Edward R. Olbermann award is waiting for you.

Great thanks, yawn, bring in another usual Olby marionette Dana Milbank, in a rather boring suit this eve. This story should be sending shockwaves through a race for President, thinks Der Fuhrer. Alas, no one asked St. Rudy at a press conference about all of this. What happened to "accountability?" Milbank calls out Olbermann's desire to say "bitch" on the air in reference to the great John McCain scandal. Hauptmann? Using a derogatory word about a woman? NEVER. Giuliani's campaign is a "tabloid" material to Milbank. Monkey Man thinks that this is just a tactic on the "right" to whip up the base to make them think that there are new outlets in the collective pockets of Democrats. ... Really? Do I even need to go there? I think that Fat Ass could say something of that nature with such conviction should tell you enough. Side note: Giuiani is a "conservative" Presidential hopeful. You know, all those conservative views like.....readily accessible abortion, anti gun laws, certain "rights" for homosexuals and so forth. I guess on OlbyPlanet, unless you are somewhere to the left of Dennis Kucinich who sees UFOs, you are conservative.

#4: President Bush to "ram through" recess appointments. Sen. Reid to keep Senators behind to prevent said appointments. Convicted felon and disbarred criminal John Dean is great thanksed to segue into talking about Republicans destroying all the branches of the government. Apparently, this is a running segment to "highlight the themes" of Mr. Felon's book. Riveting. Dean contends Republicans have been "abusing" recess appointments for years. It's not like the Democrats ever filibustered or refused to let nominees out of committee. You wonder why there are so many vacancies on the federal courts? We almost didn't even have an Attorney General! The President is trying to "slide onto the court" some "radical judges." I guess that means they don't comply with DailyKos thought.

Just yesterday, we pointed out how Keith Oralmann has stopped reporting on the war in Iraq. No more dispatches from the NBC News team detailing the progress of the effort, for four weeks now. So what is NBC reporting? What is the news that Edward R Olbermann refuses to tell his viewers? John Gibson has the tape that the discredited baseball card collector will never allow on The Hour of Spin:

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• JUDITH REGAN REHABILITATED: David Shuster
• PROJECT RUDY: Giuliani-hater Wayne Barrett
• McCAIN "DISASTER": Dana Milbank
• BLACKWATER IS SLEAZY: Richard Wolffe

Something Olbermann this way comes: We got your Rudy attack, we got your Bush administration attack, we got your Fox attack!! Olbermoronn promised to detail "the full picture of just how Roger Ailes turned Fox News into an advertising agency for Giuliani". Ooooh, that oughta be good. Plus we've got a special dog that didn't bark, and don't miss it when we catch Edward R Olbermahn in a huge megadose of his own hypocrisy. It's hump day at Olbermann Watch.

#5: Yes, Herr Olbermahn's descent into lunacy is complete. The lead story on The Hour of Spin--the biggest, most important news happening all over the world--was another attack on Fox News! Of course to make this fly, Dan Olbermann had to reverse course on one Judith Regan, who has been the repeated butt of his insults and derision over the years. Now all of a sudden everything she claims is treated as gospel, because Keithy can use it to attack Rudy and, as a bonus, Fox too. Fix News! [Ding!] Fox Noise! [Ding!] Andrea Mackris! [Ding!] Joining Bathman was his faithful sidekick, Robin, aka Slippery Shuster. He talked about Bernard Kerik. Great thanks.

On to the mysterious "special relationship" between Giuliani and the eeevil Fox. Rudy-hater Barrett's book trashing Giuliani was published last year. It was even mentioned on tonight's Hour of Spin, but oddly neither Barrett nor his puppet-master disclosed the small fact that this virulently anti-Giuliani book was published by...News Corp. Yes, the same News Corp, the same "Murdoch empire" that Oralmann claims is trying suppress bad news about Rudy! No point in confusing the viewer with anything approaching facts, right Keith? Great thanks.

Oh, and what about how Krazy Keith was going to present a detailed expose of how Fox News is "an advertising agency for Giuliani"? Um, Keith lied about that. There wasn't any. It's a new arrow in Oralmann's quiver of propaganda: announce something as fact, promise the details, and then hope people remember the incendiary charge, but forget you never documented it.

#4: Huckabee rivalling Mitt in Iowa. Klueless Keith calls it a "disaster" for Rudy because he's in third there. Hey Einstein, Rudy is rooting for Huckabee to surpass Romney. He'd much rather end up going against the ill-financed Huckabee than Mitt's millions. But that's a little too deep for The Hour of Spin. Horrors! John McCain laughed when someone called Hillary a bitch and McCain "appeared to support" it because he didn't "censure" the person who said it. Sort of like Olby laughing when Alberto Gonzales was called a "houseboy" on his program and then repeating the slur. Right, Fat Ass? Poor McCain doesn't get it. He shouldn't allow anyone to call a woman a "bitch". No, they should call her a "cunt" or an "old bag" or a "slut". Those are the approved terms on OlbyPlanet. Dana Milbank, denied dramatic dungarees, listened as Herr Olbermoronn likened all this to "macaca" (but not "buckwheat"--see below). Great thanks.

OLBYPOCRISY ALERT! Monkeymann's sensitivity to using the term "bitch" to describe a woman seems to have been freshly minted just for this occasion. For example, when Michael Musto called a woman a "bitch" while talking to Olbermann on Olbermann's show, our hero and defender of the dignity of women just chuckled and read his next question. Of course this was a long time ago: last month. Olby you are such a transparent hypocrite.

#3: Blackwater "mercenaries" and the State Department. Far-right! [Ding!] Olby sites a blue blog (Talking Points Memo) as a news source, finally admitting where he gets his stories. The Wolffe Man simpered in agreement as always.

#2: Bridge players to be sanctioned for making a holding up a political sign at a bridge tournament. Of course, KO had his tinfoil hat on claiming that they were being punished not for holding up a political sign (which has never happened before in this context), but rather for holding up a sign that was against Bush. Plus O.J. #1: Britney Spears and other breaking celebrity news.

In the Media Matters Minute, Olbermoronn attacked Deroy Murdock (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) and Brent Bozell (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). Yep, another double-header, straight from Brock's website to Keithy's teleprompter.

Mute Mongrels: Having tarred Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, George Allen, Glenn Beck, and a host of others as "racists", Fat Ass has spiked any negative reportage on this. No surprise there; Keith Olbermann is a slovenly political hack. But here's another aspect of Keith's canines who did not bark. Have you noticed something different about The Hour of Spin lately? Something missing from the usual shtick that Oralmann has become infamous for? It struck us that one of his favorite segments has been missing in action for weeks. In fact, we found no evidence of it going back for nearly a month. Oh there was a passing reference on Oct 22, but that was a tangential diversion in a discussion on a separate topic. No, it's pretty clear that Bathtub Boy has quietly steered away from one of his signature segments: News from Iraq (almost always Bad News from Iraq). We have dozens of examples right here at Olbermann Watch: casualty reports, car bombings, sectarian violence, the famed "civil war", etc. But over the past four weeks, segments on the war and how it's going on the ground have been strangely absent. Why would that be? There are those who believe the war is going better for us lately, and with some justification. But Bathtub Boy isn't going to mention anything like that. Could this be why Merkle has turned his attention instead to S-CHIP and increasingly frenetic attacks on more successful competitors? We report, you decide.

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #24,328 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #3,170. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #116,153; O'Reilly's book is #2,378 there. On the battle of the papersbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #363, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #59,914. Chortle! Tuesday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss to You Know Who in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".]

There really isn't much else to say about Olbermoronn's lunatic Veterans Day program after reading this. As always, Oralmann's cheap shots demonstrate that he is not just a slovenly political hack, but an ignorant, clueless slovenly political hack.

Krazy Keith also gets a mention in the latest installment of Newsbusted. Enjoy.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• POLITICS AND VETERANS: Richard Wolffe, Paul Reickhoff
• HILLARY'S PLANT: Craig Crawford
• LATEST O'REILLY ATTACK: Robert "Xanadu" Greenwald

The tan man is back! Dan Olbermahn's opening spiel was a study in lunatic wish fulfillment: Bush! It's his fault that a marine is divorced! Bush didn't stop him! Cheney! Photo Ops! [Ding!] Planted question but wait, Clinton didn't know! O'Reilly! Again! It's a blue Monday at Olbermann Watch.

#5: Nonsense intelligence, a "presidency of loopholes", Bush's politics of "fear and hate". "Mister" Bush hates the troops! It's the "so-called War on Terror" (tm Al-Jazeera). The Wolffe Man simpered and stammered and parroted OlbySpin. Bush's "empathy for veterans" is just a facade according to Merkle (thanks to his special psychic powers). Great thanks.

Anti-war vets not invited to several parades (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos, Krazy Keith's favorite charity). How is this "Mister" Bush's fault? Fat Ass will find a way. Reickhoff himself marched in a parade. The "Marlboro marine" is divorced and suicidal and "Mister" Bush let it happen! Incredible. It's official: Keith is a lunatic. "Mister" Bush didn't show up for the ceremonial laying of the wreath: it's "disrespect"! It's "stupidity"! He thinks war is a "video game". Reickhoff says Bush never served in combat. Gee, what does that say for Clinton, Obama, and the rest? The question never asked. Great thanks.

#4: Damage control: Hillary and the planted questions. Naturally the segment began with a rundown of all the evils of Bush. But how to spin this to protect his candidate? Olby will find a way. Brain was there to say this was just an "over-zealous" advance man, Hillary merely "stubbed her toe", yada yada yada. KO quickly joined in: it's common, it was a global warming question, FEMA did much worse. Is the spin making you dizzy yet? Oops, quick, change the subject to Rudy! Slick move, Olbermahn. Brain chortled and sniggered as per usual, which netted him Great Thanks.

#3: British Airways ghost flights (regurgitated video from ITV). #2: Prince Harry, Kanye West, and Cruise News! In the Media Matters Minute: Mike Huckabee (R), Rush Limbaugh, and Tom Delay (R). Another trifecta! A perfect pyramid! More attacks from Keith "I am not politically biased" Olbermann.

After a "Fox Noise" [Ding!] and "Fixed News" [Ding!] we got #1: "Documentary filmmaker" Greenwald, there to get free PR for another of his dishonest propaganda videos--an incompetent tyro whose main claim to fame was "Xanadu". This incoherent mess was so bad that an award for worst movies (the Razzies) was created, just so they could hand one over to Greenwald. Given his inability to display even the merest modicum of competence, Mr Xanadu found that he could survive in a niche market by selling dishonest far-left propaganda to a tiny but vocal gang of blue blog buffs. The perfect Olbermann guest! He thinks it's awwwful that eeeevil Fox shows pretty women on screen. As far as Olby is concerned, he's not interested unless they like Merlot. Oralmann's premise is that the evil Fox talks about this stuff and then gets to show the shocking videos. Meanwhile Olby talked about Fox as he himself showed the shocking videos--no racier than what you can see at the beach, by the way. "Fixed Noise" [Ding!]. Greenwald spouted his usual lies ("everybody" at Fox says "global warming doesn't exist") and Herr Olbermann was in hog heaven.

Dogs That Did Not Bark: Good old Bathtub Boy. He is so predictable when it comes to what stories he will flog and which ones he'll bury. That's why we write this segment up hours before The Hour of Spin even airs. Over the years we have guessed right every time but one. The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann has run the video of Bush trying to open a door so often the oxide was coming off the tape, complete with how this is a "metaphor" [Ding!]. But for some reason, he didn't find the flags collapsing all around Hillary Clinton any sort of "metaphor" [Ding!]. How could he? He didn't even mention it. Then there are the verbal gaffes and mistakes that are headline news when a Republican makes them. But when Bill Richardson doesn't even know who's commanding our forces in Iraq, the decree from OlbyPlanet comes out: spike the story!

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #21,341 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #5,161. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #113,487; O'Reilly's book is #2,510 there,--and it's now out in paperback! Amazon lists the Culture Warrior paperback at #507, while the paperback edition of Oralmann's book is a mighty #23,935. Har! Thursday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss to You Know Who, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: Alison Stewart

Topics/Guests: it doesn't matter, because...

The great MisterMeter is mute,
Mighty Olby tonight is kaput.
No he isn't out clubbing,
More likely, he's tubbing.
Still we have a few things to compute...

If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 17 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 12 times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. And this week we're factoring in minus-five bonus points for Oralmann's refusal to correct himself re his lies about ABC News and Daniel Levin. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -39[sissy limp].

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #11,296 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #5,161. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #108,336; O'Reilly's book is #2,363 there,--and it's now out in paperback! Amazon lists the Culture Warrior paperback at #396, while the paperback edition of Oralmann's book is a mighty #59,321. Har! Thursday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss to You Know Who, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".

Also don't miss Keith Olbermann's guest appearance in the Hondo sports column (see "Charges over Colts").

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• PAT ROBERTSON AND RUDY: Dana Milbank
• PROJECT RUDY: Wayne Barrett
• POLL NUMBERS: They must be down
• AT&T IS SPYING ON YOU: Mark Klein

Keith Oralmann bellowed the opening spiel, and it was an all-you-can-eat smorgasboard of Bathtub Boy's favorite targets: Rudy! Pat Robertson! NSA! O'Reilly! And, yes, Britney!: It's hump day at Olbermann Watch.

#5: Robertson "sells" faith "as if it were toothpaste". (What in the wide world of sports does that mean?) Rudy is twice-divorced (second mention). Oh wait, third mention. That needs to get a [Ding!]. Krazy Keith is not the guy who should make snarky comments about other people's love lives. Karma can be a bitch. General attack on Pat and rundown of his greatest hits. In the deja vu seat of honor: Dana Milbank, minus motley mufti, joined in the attack. Great Thanks.

On to torture again and Project Rudy. Barrett, the ever-reliable anti-Giuliani hack, was the "expert" again, so he bashed Giuliani for five minutes but didn't disprove anything Rudy said. No there there, but that's SOP on OlbyPlanet. Great Thanks.

#4: Polls and more polls. Hillary "still leading", with no mention of how much she has fallen since the debate. Of all the candidates, the only one Olby reported the "top concerns" of voters about was--you guessed it--Rudy. Welcome to The Hour of Spin.

#3: Evil companies are "spying" on you, on orders of "Mister" Bush.

#2: An entire segment to attack O'Reilly? Hoorah! How many lies did Olbermoronn tell this time? O'Reilly took a report from the New York Times? How dare he! O'Reilly "lied through his teeth". Falafel! [Ding!] Fox Noise! [Ding!] Rosie in talks with MSNBC? Only "rumored", according to Olby. Lie #1: confirmed by MSNBC and by Rosie herself. O'Reilly "spat out" incorrect ratings numbers. Lie #2. Next Fat Ass tried to "prove" Mr Bill was wrong when he said Countdown had no ratings growth in October. To do so, Oralmann went back to comparisons to--when? January 2007 of course! The old trick: pick a low point, and then brag about how much higher you are now. Lie #3. You can see the ratings charted here. Fox Noise [Ding!]. Yep, this kind of phony hucksterism continues on OlbyPlanet, even as Mr Humility refuses to apologize for, or even correct, his own repellent smears.

Hey, Bathman, husker du?

#1: George Clooney, Fabio. In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermahn attacks "comedian" Rush Limbaugh (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) and Brit Hume of Fox Noise [Ding!] (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). Fixed Noise [Ding!]. Straight from the website to Merkle's teleprompter.

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #19,330 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,090. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #106,033; O'Reilly's book is #2,429 there,--and it's now out in paperback! Amazon lists the Culture Warrior paperback at #510, while the paperback edition of Oralmann's book is soaring at #49,625. On Tuesday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann again lost overwhelmingly to the eeevil O'Reilly, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]

There are so many to keep track of! Hat tip to John Cook who caught Edward R Olbermann in yet another whopper:

It's stirring rhetoric from Olbermann, as usual--only it's almost certainly 100 percent not true!

Well, maybe it's true on OlbyPlanet.

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• WATERBOARDING!
• SPECIAL EDUCATION KOMMENT: Bush's criminal conspiracy
• GREEN GORE

Olbermann Watch servers are acting up, and Oralmann's writers have cooked up another Special Education Komment. What better excuse to take the night off? We aren't going to sit through an hour of Fat Ass bellowing about a procedure that was resorted to all of three times, and hasn't even been used for years. If/when this post shows up, consider it an open thread to discuss the latest obscenities from the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann.

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• WATERBOARDING AND THE AG: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek
• "MISTER" BUSH AND "MISTER" CHENEY:
• BARRY BONDS: The interview that got away
• KEITH OLBERMANN'S SPECIAL APOLOGY

Another opening spiel (Broken Government [Ding!]) but who cares? Tonight brings us yet a stirring, spectacular victory for the power and influence of Olbermann Watch. It's cause for celebration on another casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.

#5: Goundhog Day on OlbyPlanet: waterboarding again. A bombshell ABC News report that blows the lid off torture! Olby finds it "infuriating" that the AG nominee will be nominated. Clip of anti-AG Leahy (D); zero clips of pro-AG Senators, not even the (D)s. The Wolffe Man simpered and, with Olby, got in a few shots at Giuliani. Probably to make up for the Victory for Olbermann Watch, coming any minute now. Great thanks.

Next another meeting of Olbermann's Criminal Rehabilitation Program, featuring its star student, disbarred lawyer John Dean. It's Fun with Felons. Nixon! [Ding!] The criminal whined that Dems won't stand up and block the AG nomination. Since he parroted OlbySpin, he was Great Thanksed.

#4: Politics of war. Horrors: Cheney said Peru instead of Venezuela! (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress) Hey Bathman, you're one to talk. At least Cheney knows the difference between Assad and Bin Laden. (A small preview of the upcoming Victory for Olbermann Watch.) Clips of Bush, interspersed with propaganda from Merkle. Clips of Cheney, interspersed with propaganda from Merkle. Why are we getting this drivel when we could be enjoying the Victory for Olbermann Watch?

After an attack on Chris Wallace of Fixed Noise [Ding!] came #3: Politics. The Dem position on Iran is "legitimate". Clinton and Obama in a spat. Plug for Rudi getting all three "worst persons" slots. Now we know Herr Olbermoronn is going over the top to counteract the Victory for Olbermann Watch.

#2: More of the Barry Bonds interview that Keith didn't get. #1: A month's worth of oddball.

In the Media Matters Minute, we don't even care that Keith Oralmann gave all three positions to Giuliani, because we know why he did--to ameliorate the effect of his weasely convoluted apologia for lying about Rudy. In another example of something his producers forced him to do, Monkeymann did admit: "We followed the reporting of the Associated Press..." Yeah, and you ran the actual video that proved it wrong and still didn't tell the truth about it. Fat Ass backpedaled about "mitigating circumstances" (because it took the AP two days to correct the story), claimed the video shows why there was "confusion" (it didn't), and used the "fake but accurate" defense, actually claiming his reporting was "surprisingly accurate"! Finally, he forced it out: "To him, and to you, I apologize." [video courtesy of Inside Cable News]

Regardless of all the excuses and irrelevancies surrounding it, that is another Victory for Olbermann Watch!

If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 15 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 12 times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -30 [eunuch limp].

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name sunk to #33,652 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,948. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #87,601; O'Reilly's book is #2,254 there,--and it's now out in paperback! Amazon lists the Culture Warrior paperback at #372, while the paperback edition of Oralmann's book is, um, well it's sitting on some hypothetical shelf, right next to a first edition of If You're Scoring at Home...Even If You're Alone. On Thursday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann finished a poor third in total viewers and a distant second in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 6 [ELEVATED]

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• TERROR-FYING TACTICS: Jonathan Alter of Newsweek
• IS THERE A DRAFT IN HERE?: Hillary Mann Leverett, Former Foreign Service Officer who "left the Bush administration"
• BRITNEY SPEARS
• BARRY BONDS INTERVIEW THAT KEITH DIDN'T GET
• KEITH DOES NOT RETRACT (NOR CORRECT) HIS LIE ABOUT ST. RUDY

Krazy Keith droned through a rather limp spiel. President plays the "9/11 card" to get Judge Mukasey through. Senator Kennedy bails and Senator Specter says "the nomination is in trouble. The "State Department in Crisis!" We've never that one before on OlbyPlanet! "Drafting Diplomats." The Rumsfeld memos and the ever important Britney Spears! Barry Bonds exclusive interview, conducting by Jim Gray - not Keith Olbermann - zing!

#5: "Vote Republican or Die" was the message of 2006 from the President. He has "rolled out the 2007 sequel." He's trying to "strong arm Congress" (gee, that has never happened). He spoke to the Heritage Foundation where "a lot of the 24% of people who still approve of the President were." Several clips of the President with non-witty remarks from Olby. The President dares to think that the Democrats blocking the latest nomination for Attorney General would be a bad precedent (no mention that Mukasey was strongly recommended by Sen. Chuckie Schumer). Keith 'Fat Ass' Olbermann calls the VP the "Dark Lord." Har! Bring in the usual leftist Alter to say nothing of value or something outside of standard DNC talking points. White House thinks "follow the constitution and you will die." Alter thinks that the speech wasn't red meat, but raw meat. Whoah! He's just worried about his legacy and Mukasey, supposedly. Alter thinks that the President has no other accomplishments other than keeping the country safe. Even that faint praise was too much for Herr Olbermann to stomach saying that the President only kept the country safe "after 9/11 and the anthrax terror attacks." Knock me over with a feather. Water boarding is torture on OlbyPlanet, even though we've used it on our own soldiers for training and there are only three suspected times that it has been used. That and the Senate, under Republican control, voted 53-47 not to classify waterboarding as torture. No example of torture is actually presented....like cutting off fingers....heads....pulling out finger nails.....electrocution. We're just like the gulags says Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI)! Great thanks.

#4: Americans are being "drafted" for the first time since Vietnam, although these aren't soldiers. They are diplomats who refuse to go to Iraq, even though, you know, you work for an agency and sort of do what your job entails? They could just quit. Couple of clips of foreign service staff bashing the administration. Keith has friends in the State Department, supposedly, who talk off the record to him. First time we've sent diplomats to a war zone since Vietnam, which was a war, just like now. Imagine that. Ms. Leverett says that if you disagree with policy, you will "pay for it." Ms. Leverett has an extensive history of disagreeing with the Bush administration in conjunction with her husband.

Oddball: Someone is immune to electricity, funny Halloween scare on a local news channel

Best Persons in the World: Some bad costume choice, someone has a bad day, Aw Cheng Fatt offered a cop $15 to avoid being busted for drunk driving, but he wasn't drunk

#3: "Snowflake memos" of Donald Rumsfeld. Olbersturmfuhrer does the third story standing up! So cool! He looks a bit thick, and the suit does not look right. He also looks stiff. Bunch of quotes without context. Yawn.

#2: Keeping tabs (guess it was hard to get guests tonight): Britney Spears says "you know" a lot. Heather Mills breaks down on TV.

#1: Barry Bonds interview tape. But Olby does get to interview the guy who interviewed Bonds! Wow!

In the Media Matters minute, the "lunatic fringe" Ding! website RedState even though he was really talking about someone's blog entry. While they did say Keith was on, and he wasn't, at least try to get the person who wrote the entry's name. Monkeymann and his lackeys awarded Glenn Beck the silver via the usual MediaMatters smear machine. Roger Ailes wins gold (Fox, naturally!).

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's went through the roof to #10,448 at amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #2,147. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome sadly remains unranked; O'Reilly's book is #1,943 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Wednesday's Hour of Spin managed a second place finish in total viewers and in that beloved demo. Although O'Reilly beat House Boy Olbermann in the overall and the demo 3:1. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]

On his radio program tonight, John Gibson replied to the latest attacks from Media Matters and Keith Oralmann, and then took issue with comments about Reagan Democrats made by Joe Scarborough. To prove the point, they called up Mr Reagan himself.

When will we see a correction for this whopper? Maybe on the 12th of Never.