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Host: Keith Olbermann
Another opening spiel (Broken Government [Ding!]) but who cares? Tonight brings us yet a stirring, spectacular victory for the power and influence of Olbermann Watch. It's cause for celebration on another casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Goundhog Day on OlbyPlanet: waterboarding again. A bombshell ABC News report that blows the lid off torture! Olby finds it "infuriating" that the AG nominee will be nominated. Clip of anti-AG Leahy (D); zero clips of pro-AG Senators, not even the (D)s. The Wolffe Man simpered and, with Olby, got in a few shots at Giuliani. Probably to make up for the Victory for Olbermann Watch, coming any minute now. Great thanks.
Next another meeting of Olbermann's Criminal Rehabilitation Program, featuring its star student, disbarred lawyer John Dean. It's Fun with Felons. Nixon! [Ding!] The criminal whined that Dems won't stand up and block the AG nomination. Since he parroted OlbySpin, he was Great Thanksed.
#4: Politics of war. Horrors: Cheney said Peru instead of Venezuela! (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress) Hey Bathman, you're one to talk. At least Cheney knows the difference between Assad and Bin Laden. (A small preview of the upcoming Victory for Olbermann Watch.) Clips of Bush, interspersed with propaganda from Merkle. Clips of Cheney, interspersed with propaganda from Merkle. Why are we getting this drivel when we could be enjoying the Victory for Olbermann Watch?
After an attack on Chris Wallace of Fixed Noise [Ding!] came #3: Politics. The Dem position on Iran is "legitimate". Clinton and Obama in a spat. Plug for Rudi getting all three "worst persons" slots. Now we know Herr Olbermoronn is going over the top to counteract the Victory for Olbermann Watch.
#2: More of the Barry Bonds interview that Keith didn't get. #1: A month's worth of oddball.
In the Media Matters Minute, we don't even care that Keith Oralmann gave all three positions to Giuliani, because we know why he did--to ameliorate the effect of his weasely convoluted apologia for lying about Rudy. In another example of something his producers forced him to do, Monkeymann did admit: "We followed the reporting of the Associated Press..." Yeah, and you ran the actual video that proved it wrong and still didn't tell the truth about it. Fat Ass backpedaled about "mitigating circumstances" (because it took the AP two days to correct the story), claimed the video shows why there was "confusion" (it didn't), and used the "fake but accurate" defense, actually claiming his reporting was "surprisingly accurate"! Finally, he forced it out: "To him, and to you, I apologize." [video courtesy of Inside Cable News]
Regardless of all the excuses and irrelevancies surrounding it, that is another Victory for Olbermann Watch!
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 15 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 12 times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -30 [eunuch limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name sunk to #33,652 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,948. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #87,601; O'Reilly's book is #2,254 there,--and it's now out in paperback! Amazon lists the Culture Warrior paperback at #372, while the paperback edition of Oralmann's book is, um, well it's sitting on some hypothetical shelf, right next to a first edition of If You're Scoring at Home...Even If You're Alone. On Thursday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann finished a poor third in total viewers and a distant second in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 6 [ELEVATED]