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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
It's an end of the week speil: Using troops as blackmail! Fox and O'Reilly again! Hillary! Barry Bonds! Lindsay Lohan! O'Reilly yet again! Sigh. Why couldn't Oralmann have taken today off? No matter, any time we catch Olby in a massive display of hypocrisy and revisionist history, it's time well spent. And we did it today! It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: True Democratic backbone on Iraq. (What, Fox isn't the lead story tonight? How'd that happen?) A good opportunity to play that NBC News report about how the surge is working. Oops, didn't make the cut. The Wolffeman, who is on so often he should get a co-host credit, did his usual simpering paraphrases of OlbySpin. Great Thanks.
Ridicule of Laura Bush's librarian program. "Mister" Bush's war. "Mister" Bush is hypocritical. "Mister" Bush is "psychotic". (See "projection".) Lefty Robinson explained Republican philosophy. Yeah. "Creeping fascism". Great thanks.
After Fixed News [Ding!] we got #4: Giuliaini/Fox "scandal"![Ding!] Olbermoronn bellowed that Mitt Romney "led a walkout" from a proposed Fox debate in Iowa (Another Olbermann Lie: the only candidate who had agreed to participate in the first place was Huckabee) and tried to tie it to the Giuliani lawsuit (AOL: it had nothing to do with it). The "wheels are coming off" [Ding!] for Giuliani. Rudy is "often" on Fox because he had 21 appearances there. What did Edward R Liar not mention? At least four other candidates had more Fox appearances than Giuliani did! Oops, can't let that slip out. Then it was on to the latest Krazy Keith Konspiracy: Fox used Bill O'Reilly to attack Judith Reagan because O'Reilly spoke out against the OJ Simpson book. He was "vicious", said Oralmann.
Stop the tivo! OLBYPOCRISY ALERT!! We have Keith Olbermann on tape bragging about how strongly he spoke against this book deal, and further complaining that O'Reilly was a coward for not speaking out against it enough. Now Merkle does a complete 180 and rewrites his own history! Now the OlbyPlanet Party Line is that Mr Bill went so overboard about the OJ book that he was "vicious" and carrying out some secret hit on Regan? Sorry Olby, you've been caught again and revealed as the hypocritical liar that you are. Why does anyone give a slovenly political hack like Monkeymann any credibility whatsoever?
Zsa Zsa claimed, like Olby with absolutely no evidence (in other words, they made it up), that Romney wouldn't debate on Fox in Iowa because of the alleged Giuliani connection. Andrea Mackris! [Ding!] Great thanks.
Then another O'Reilly attack: Bill criticized the movie "Redacted", but Fox ran ads for it during his commercials. That shows the "channel's hypocrisy" and reveals that O'Reilly is a "big fat flaming fraud". No Keith, you ignorant thumbtack. Maybe at MSLSD the drivel you mouth is dictated by the official position of MSLSD. But Fox is a channel that allows more than one opinion. O'Reilly's view of a movie is his view, not that of the channel itself or its sales department who accepted the ads. There are all sorts of views on Fox--admittedly a novel concept to someone who resides on OlbyPlanet but nonetheless true. And it is metaphysically impossible for every one of those views to be the views of FNC, because they all differ. So the "hypocrisy" you cite is all in your feeble little Kossified brain. If only you had allowed it to stay there.
#3: Democrats debate: Hillary was straightforward, Obama was flummoxed. That's a shocker. Hillary keeps improving. Hillary keeps getting better! Oralmann, get your head out of there! Lefty Alter was there to pile on the Hillary praise. Another shocker. Great thanks.
#2: Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears. #1: Barry Bonds. In the Media Matters Minute, it was a marvelous trifecta of dripping venom against Fox: Oliver North, Sean Hannity (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters), Bill O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). More smears direct from Brock's website to Merkle's teleprompter. Somebody tell Chuck Todd.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 38 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 8 times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -76 [pantywaist limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #45,750 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,920. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome down to #118,045; O'Reilly's book is #2,383 there. On the battle of the papersbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #474, while the paperback of Oralmann's book is a mighty #38,083. Guffaw! On Thursday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann sunk all the way down to fourth place both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Hey, how's your latest jihad against Fox working out for you, Bathtub Boy? Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]