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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
AN OLBERMANN WATCH SPECIAL!
Post your comments on the infamous, deplorable Keith Oralmann LIVE as the program airs. What better way to kick off a great American holiday than to give a good swift kick to an ingrate American demagogue? Threads open at 8:00 pm.
OPENING SPIEL: Typing at 7:57 but we'd be shocked if Scott McClellan didn't come up. After all, there's no such thing as flogging a story for just one day. [Ding!] What a shocker. And sure enough, Olby uses Bill O'Reilly's trip to Afghanistan against him. Another huge shocker. Says Al Franken went to Afghanistan this year? Say what? Not according to the USO.
#5: Now McClellan says Bush didn't lie. Olby can't take that even though it was obvious to actual journalists (as opposed to baseball card collectors) that McClellan never said Bush lied in the first place.
Keithy is now talking to the Congressionally certified liar Joey Wilson. Funny how Olby is all of a sudden taking every word Scott McClellan says as gospel. Why it wasn't that long ago that Oralmann insisted that Scott was a "shameful, treasonous" liar. The instant rehabilitation of McClellan, as seen only on OlbyPlanet. It's a cover-up! [Ding!] Willy thinks it's an impeachable offense! Bush committed treason! Why isn't John Dean on tonight? Did he have to see his parole officer?
Uh oh. The Perfessor isn't exactly biting on Olby's latest gimmick: get Fitzgerald to re-open the Plame case! Remember, Fat Ass, it was the Lewinsky case that put you in the bathtub.
Amazing, almost 15 minutes into the show, it's all about the Plame leak, and the name Richard Armitage, the actual leaker, has not been mentioned at all!
#4: O'Reilly attack #372. He dared to ask the USO to send more famous people to Afghanistan. Olby rattled off a list of people who visited in 2006. Unfortunately O'Reilly was talking about 2007 (see Toby Keith's name on there, Olbermoronn?), not 2006. So Merkle's entire spiel was based on: Another Olbermann Lie. Oh wow, now KO starts piling up stats about all the OTHER countries the USO sent people to, when O'Reilly was in fact talking about one country (Afghanistan) and one year (2007). What a sleazy, slovenly hack this Olbermann guy is.
What happened to the mother of the injured soldier who was supposed to be on? Not political enough, eh? So the votevets political hack came on instead, with the double benefit that he could attack O'Reilly at the same time! Of course the substance of what O'Reilly said was glossed over--because O'Reilly told the truth! So smear him with more Olbermann Lies. Ooh, Soltz said chickenhawk! [Ding!]
OlbyPlug: Turkey pardoning does not go all the way back to Truman, as claimed by Bush. Another "Bush lies" mantra, this time about Turkeys? OK, Oralmann, bring it on. We're ready for you on this one.
#3: Some of the Romney push-poll calls went to voters on the Romney payroll. That's a "new revelation"? Hotair was reporting that last week! Well, it's new to OlbyPlanet. Olbermann's Brain shows up. Let the sniggering and chortling begin. Keith defends the push-pollers because Romney's religion is something people have reason to be concerned about. Two sentences given to Hillary's declining voter margin.
Oh, a John Gibson attack. What a coincidence, one just happened to show up on Monkeymann's favorite Blue Blog Source. What are the odds that his attack and the Blue Blog attack will be, like, the same thing?
#2: Marie Osmond on Dancing with the Stars (the second Mormon attacked by Keith tonight--what are the odds?). William Shatner not in the new Trek movie (wasn't this news about three or four weeks ago?!?).
Worst persons: KellyAnne Conway, "water-carrier" [Ding!], "lunatic fringe" [Ding!] "race hatred" [Ding!]. She's a "racist" [Ding!]. Keith lectured her about the exception in the law for when English is essential to a job, ignorant as always that that very exception was what her discussion was all about! Olby called Gibby "Bathtub Head"! Hahahaa! How clever. How original. Fox Noise. [Ding!] OOps, Olby selected a different story from Hillary Clinton's Media Matters to lift. Well we got the Blue Blog Source right anyhow. Straight from their website to Oralmann's teleprompter.
#1: Turkey pardoning did not go all the way back to 1947 and Harry Truman. Bush didn't tell the truth, but KO was oh-so-generous, saying you can't really Blame Bush for repeating a myth. (Apparently he figures all his blue blog buffs have tuned out by now). In fact, when he was President, Bill Clinton claimed the tradition went back all the way to the 1920s! Of course not mentioned on OlbyPlanet, from where we now happily escape.