It's time for our annual list of the worst, most egregious, most outrageous lies from the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann. It's the toughest job of the year: narrowing the list down to just ten. There is so much to choose from! Be that as it may, the staff of Olbermann Watch has caucused and the votes have been cast. Here are Keith Olbermann's Top Ten Lies of 2007:

#10 - Keith Olbermann just can't help itself when it comes to Fox News. It's Extreme Olby: Envy Edition as hardly a day goes by without some attack on a news channel that is actually successful. The usual tactic is to claim something on Fox was untrue or a lie, when it wasn't. Or another favorite: make a sweeping claim that you know is untrue, because it appeals to your blue blog base. But the #10 winner uses a more blatant technique: just make up something about Fox, broadcast it as if it were the truth, and never correct the record.

#9 - Olbermahn's diseased loathing for anyone to the right of Fidel Castro--like his hatred of Fox--regularly sends KO into fits of fantasy, where facts and truth are dispensible annoyances. So he'll, say, invent totally fictitious statistics to slander the American Enterprise Institute. Just as he will misstate a whole fistful of facts when it suits his purposes. This syndrome also explains the lunatic statement that comes in at #9 in the countdown: "Mister" Bush is the first President ever to fire US attorneys.

#8 - When Monkeymann gets worked up about something, the truth just isn't good enough. It's much more effective when Olby himself can create a phony quote and use that to make his dishonest points. You know, like when he spent an entire segment berating Rudy for something he never said? In our #8 entry, note how Herr Olbermann pulls that same trick: to "prove" a point he cites a Patrick Fitzgerald statement that turns out to be, well, imaginary.

#7 - You know that since we are on the threshhold of O'Reilly attack #400, there had to be some doozies in 2007. There are too many Olbermann Lies about Bill O'Reilly to detail without running out of space. We've selected this and this as our representative examples for #7.

#6 - Republicans beware. Edward R Olbermann will cover up for Hillary and spike stories that paint her in a bad light. But if you have an (R) after your name the Hsu is on the other foot. Bathtub Boy will run endless scandal stories, and if the blue blogs don't give him enough ammunition, then he can cook up Another Olbermann Lie or two. Governor Gibbons (R) learned how truthful Olby's reports are: not very. So it is that lie #6 in our countdown finds Mr Merkle berating Mitt Romney for something that--all together now--Romney never said! Yes, another phony, doctored quote from Olbermoronn.

#5 - As quickly as Herr Olbermann will rush to attack other broadcasters, he is oh-so-careful not to upset his corporate masters at A-Mess-NBC. He'll broadcast flat-out fabrications, like claiming Rudy Giuliani's Presidential campaign is being run by--get ready for this--Fox's Roger Ailes. He'll even lie about the contents of a competitor's blog. But our #5 entry shows Keith "Man on Fan" Olbermann at his most desperate. So eager was he to protect a possible NBC hire (Rosie O'Donnell) he doctored her words (sound familiar?) to claim she never compared US troops to terrorists. Then he blamed "Fox Noise"--another lie to protect his own sorry butt, since the people who accused Rosie of the troops/terrorism comparison were Joe Scarborough, Chris Matthews, and Howard Fineman--not on Fox, but on MSNBC!

#4 - More lies about Fox News. We could do a top ten list every month the way Oralmann spews them. Whether it's a smear of Chris Wallace, or a slander of Brit Hume, the one thing you can trust about Monkeymann's attacks is that you cannot trust Monkeymann's attacks. That's what made this #4: Keith Olbermann contructs an ostentatious salvo at Fox over a leak. And guess what? Every single statement he made about Fox News was false. Untrue. An elaborate edifice of lies.

#3 - When Oralmann gets a bee in his bonnet, there is nothing that will stand in the way of OlbySpin. So he will pretend Richard Armitage never existed and assert that Karl Rove was an "original leaker" of Valerie Plame. To attack GWB, he'll invent a nonexistent checklist of rules for Presidential pardons. But his blatant dishonesty about waterboarding is our #3 lie. Olby's duplicity about Daniel Levin was so shamelessly barefaced that even the fawning mainstream media called him on it, something that gave John Gibson no end of pleasure.

#2 - Did you know that Keith Olbermann doesn't indulge in personal attacks? Why no, he's above all that. Sure, tell that to Liz Claman. In #2 of our countdown, observe how Fat Ass, to fuel yet another error-ridden critique of GWB, is willing to smear two writers: ridicule their professions, lie about their success... There can be no doubt that Keith Olbermann is The Model of a Liar.

And finally, here it is, the #1 Keith Olbermann lie of 2007. In fact it bids fair to be the greatest lie of his sorry career: "I'm not politically biased."

Happy New Year from Olbermann Watch!

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• Best of Special Education Komments

Special Komments that don't rate a ten,
Are the faves of extremist madmen.
Thinkers know that they're crap,
But loons thrive on claptrap,
So they're running them over again!

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• ODDBALLAPALLOOZA!

He's the General who made Olby grin,
And a fave on The Hour of Spin.
Now he's backing the surge,
That makes him Olby's scourge.
No surprise: tonight Keith isn't in!

On MSNBC nothing says Christmas like non-stop crime and violence. But here at Olbermann Watch we want to do better than that during this holiday season. So we take this opportunity to wish our readers a Merry Christmas and a great New Year. That goes to everyone, the loons as well as the clear-thinkers. And to Keith too; we wouldn't have the #1 Olbermann blog in the world without him!

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• Best of Special Education Komments

Has Phil Griffin been hitting the bong?
Here's a show that could not be more wrong.
Olby's unhinged, obsessed
Special comments: the "best"?
This should be roughly five seconds long.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

• "Oddball Plays of the Year"

Oddball of the year
Sadly Keith does not appear
Fitting his show would have made for oddball
Alas, he settles for merely a Merlot Bottle

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: Alison Stewart

He won't say Merry Christmas
Maybe Happy Holidays
Ebenezer Olbermann

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: Alison Stewart

Topics/Guests:

• BILL CLINTON IN IOWA: David Shuster, MSNBC; Craig Crawford, cqpolitics.com columnist and MSNBC political analyst
• COUNTDOWN TO THE 2008 ELECTION: Eugene Robinson, Washington Post columnist
• FISA FILIBUSTER: Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.)
• DEATH STAR GALAXY: Derrick Pitts, Franklin Institute Science Museum’s chief astronomer

Another dopey night,
One devoid of Keith's might,
Though is there really such a thing?
Merlot is hardly a standup being

Yet another in our continuing series of the hypocrisy and lies of Keith Olbermann.

Dec 1 2006: Keith Olbermann attacks (who else?) Bill O'Reilly. Based on a smear from Hillary Clinton's Media Matters, Oralmann states:

I hate to blow my own horn, Bill-O said to a guest, like that was true, but I don't know whether you were watching the Factor on the night that Saddam's statue fell, but what I said on the air, hey, look at these guys looting the armories. As soon as I saw that, I went holy you know what, there's no plan to institute marshal law and to take step by step reconstruction of this country. He didn't say anything like that. That was April 9th, 2003. What you did included, attacks on the losers of the war, like Howard Dean, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, al-Jazeera, the Russians, the French, the Germans, hysterical Hollywood celebrities, CNN, CBS, and ABC, and when that putz Dick Morris said that this would all mean the death of network news, you agreed with him. Holy you know what, Bill-O, you're a holy you know what liar.

Dec 14 2007: Keith Olbermann appears for a blue-dress interview with Bill Moyers on PBS. The ever-humble Keith notes how prescient he was on May 1 2003, the day of the "Mission Accomplished" speech:

I'm on the air with Chris Matthews on that day with miss-- mission accomplished on May 1st in 2003. And I-- and he's talking about this as George Bush's moment in history and this. And I said, "Don't you think that him wearing a flight suit's going to be a little bit of a problem during the election cam-- "No.

Edward R Olbermann, who saw what nobody else did, and saw it four years ago. Except, well, he didn't. Newsbusters dug out the transcript of that appearance with Chris Matthews, and Krazy Keith said nothing of the kind!

Holy you-know-what, Keith. You're a holy you-know-what liar!

PS: The fact that the attack against O'Reilly proved to be a sleazy irresponsible smear just turns the irony dial to 11.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: Alison Stewart

Topics/Guests:

• 2008 ELECTION: David "Slippery" Shuster, MSDNC; Craig Crawford, Congressional Quarterly columnist and A-Mess-NBC political analyst; Pat Buchanan, author of "Day of Reckoning" and MSLSD political analyst
• FISA BILL DEBATE: Sam Seder, National Security expert and Err America radio host
• CELEBRITY NEWS: Christian Finnegan, "comedian"

When Today left Ms Clinton a heap,
All that Olby could do was just weep.
Report that? No way!
Keith stayed home for the day,
In his bathtub of bubbles to steep.

Great Moments in Olbypocrisy: #174

They don't come much better, or more arrogantly blatant, than this:

October 18: Keith Olbermann makes Sean Hannity (an opinion commentator) "worst person". His crime? He interviewed Rudy Giuliani but did not disclose that he once introduced him at a fund-raiser. Oralmann proclaimed this an affront to ethics and bellowed: Hannity is a "fund-raising meat puppet".

Back on August 6: Olbermann Watch breaks its exclusive report: Krazy Keith violates NBC standards. Olby contributes to and helps raise money for a rabidly partisan political organization: Daily Kos.

August 7: Olbermann Watch report is picked up by other media, including John Gibson.

August 8: Monkeymann, incensed at Gibson for exposing him, replies with another attack, in the process admitting the truth of the Olbermann Watch report: he did contribute to, and help raise money for, Kos.

Finally, December 15: Olby does yet another interview with Markos Moulitsas of the Daily Kos. And, just like all the other interviews, Keith Olbermann (who claims to be a "journalist") does not mention, allude to, or disclose the fact that he raised money for, and contributed to, the Daily Kos.

And it's all caught on tape:

Keith Olbermann: Worst Journalist, and the Biggest Hypocrite, in the World!

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• PROJECT RUDY: Lawrence O'Donnell, Huffington Post
• HILLARY V OBAMA: Howard Fineman
• FISA FLAP: Daily Kos Himself
• O'REILLY ATTACK #393: Dana Milbank

Keith Oralmann barked the last opening spiel of the week: More Rudy attacks! Hillary & Obama! Dems vs Bush! WaterboardingGate! Yet another O'Reilly attack! Falafel! [Ding!] It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch, and an Olbypocrisy Alert day on which once again Monkeymann walks right into a propellor of his own making.

#5: Rudy "reinventing" himself. Giuliani "profitted" from the war on terror. Then the clincher: "perhaps illegally". That's the kind of journalism they practice on OlbyPlanet. But wait, it gets better: another episode of Dirty Olby and Crazy Larry [The List!]! Edward R Olbermann keeps referring to Mitt Romney as "Willard"--just like they do at Daily Kos (Keith's favorite charity). Olby & Larry carried water again for the left by continuing Project Rudy: damage the strongest GOP candidate in any way possible. We got the usual expert, far-seeing analysis from Larry "Watch for a half-dozen indictments in the Plame case" O'Donnell. Great thanks.

Next up, "Heellary" Clinton's "makeover". The talk with the Pundit for All Occasions was not a litany of attacks and snarks, like Fat Ass served up for Rudy. No, this was a pair of aging pundits sympathetically trying to come up with ways Hill can resuscitate her campaign. Olby crowed about how some Hill quote was so "right" and Good Weekended the Finester.

#4: The Democrats are not far-left enough, featuring Markos of the Daily Kos [The List!]. Kos started simpering about...

Wait! Stop the tivo! It's an Olbypocrisy Alert!

Flashback to October 18, when Monkeymann made Sean Hannity "worst person in the world. Why? Because Hannity interviewed Giuliani and didn't mention that he had once introduced him at a fundraiser.

And now here is Edward R Olbermann interviewing Markos Moulitsas. Yeah, so what? The so what is that Krazy Keith did more than introduce Kos to a sycophantic crowd. He actually contributed and helped raise money for Kos. And guess what? Olby failed to disclose that tonight during his blue-dress interview with The Big Kos. Keith Olbermann, Worst Person, but the Very Best Hypocrite, in the World!

#3: An entire segment on Bill O'Reilly. Yes, this is NBC's "news hour of record". Falafel! [Ding!] O'Reilly and his friends are "antisemitic", according to Keith "Nazi Salute" Olbermahn, famed recipient of a protest letter from the ADL. Multiple slice-and-dice quotes followed, in that phony voice that Fat Ass believes is funny. Dana Milbank, without weird wardrobe, didn't follow Oralmann's lead and refused to stick up for Jim McDermott (D), but he redeemed himself sufficiently to be Good Any Holiday You Decide To Support-ed.

#2: Britney Spears, self-plug. #1: 2007's awkward moments.

In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermahn stuck to favorite targets: Chris Shays (R), Fox Business, and of course "worst" was O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). This was a particularly repellent smear, as Fat Ass took a joke line from O'Reilly and soberly portrayed it as "defending Nazi murderers". Yes, this from Keith "Sieg Heil" Olbermahn. Once again, straight from Brock's website to Oralmann's teleprompter.

If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 25 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC five times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -50 [pantywaist limp].

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name languishes at #23,920 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,172. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome at #27,888; O'Reilly's book is #362 there. In the battle of the paperbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #268, while Oralmann's book is a mighty #2,655. Guffaw! Another Thursday, another humiliating loss for the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".

On the radio Wednesday night, John Gibson gave a point-by-point breakdown of recent comments by A-Mess-NBC's David Shuster. Yeah, Gibby got in a little jab at the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann, but this is mainly about Shuster: sidekick to Krazy Keith, frequent guest on The Hour of Spin, as well as substitute Countdown host.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• WATERBOARDING: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek chief White House correspondent and MSNBC political analyst; Rachel Maddow, radio talk show host
• ANALYSIS OF TODAY'S GOP DEBATE: Eugene Robinson, Washington Post
• BRITNEY SPEARS CALLS OUT SICK TO TODAY'S DEPOSITION: Michael Musto, Village Voice

Grab your Merlot: the opening spiel is here! WaterboardingGate! It's torture, because Keith says so! Attack on Kit Bond (R)! GOP Debate! The Daily Britney! Barney's Christmas movie! It's liveblogging night at Olbermann Watch.

#5: New catch-phrase: the "fog of Bush" [Ding!]. Oh, another one: "Presidency of loopholes" [Ding!]. Obstruction of Justice, ruled Judge Oralmann. He desperately wanted to find this issue "resonating" on the campaign trail, but The Wolffe Man was positively lukewarm about how hot an issue it really is. Monkeymann talked waterboarding being "damaging" to the administration, as if getting verified information from a terrorist that ended up saving lives would be a bad thing. Great thanks.

Then it was on to Oralmann's favorite felon. Yes, in an unbilled cameo, John Dean, to talk about "broken government"! [Ding!] Only 15 seconds to the first "Nixon" reference. [Ding!] Another surreal moment as Edward R Olbermann asks for a legal opinion from a disbarred lawyer. Olby wants a "select committee" and a "special prosecutor". There's a shocker. Dean blames "right-wing" [Ding!] radio and "Fox News" [Ding!] for letting this all go on. No, we're not making this up! The air is thin on OlbyPlanet. Great thanks.

Plug for Dan Abrams and "Bush League Justice". Hmm, and it's Fox that's the partisan news channel? Whatever.

#4: Fat Ass says waterboarding is "forcible drowning", but without the dying part. How ignorant is this doofus anyhow? After his own legal analysis of waterboarding and a little elbow at Joe Scarborough, it was time to bring in a real expert on interrogation and legal niceties: Rachel Maddow, comedian on Err America! After all it's been all of one day since Err America had someone on The Hour of Spin, and all of one hour since Maddow was on A-Mess-NBC. Olby references "right wing"! [Ding!] Maddow frets over whether US troops abroad might be waterboarded. One would think most of the troops would welcome that over, say, being beheaded. Great thanks.

#3: The Iowa GOP debate, as Olby focused on making fun of Alan Keyes. Of course the real focus came next: Project Rudy. Lefty Robinson was there to help Oralmann serve Hillary Clinton's purpose: damage the front-runner. But it wasn't limited to that. As we predicted, every comment from Olby and his sock puppet was a slam on one of the GOP candidates. What are the chances that ratio will be similar after tomorrow's Dem debate? Slim and none. And Slim just left town.

#2: Barney the dog. It's that time of year, you know snowflakes, mistletoe, and Keith Olbermann showing that Christmas spirit by even attacking the Barney video. Oralmann found a way to bring up Karl Rove [Ding!] and a half-dozen other irrelevancies. No, we didn't make that up either. #1: The Daily Britney with the ever-creepy Michael Musto, with such gems as "Britney had a penis".

In the Media Matters Minute, Fred Thompson-R (Blue Blog Source: Think Propaganda), Mitt Romney-R (Blue Blog Source: Think Propaganda), and of course, Bill O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: MatthewGood). O'Reilly? How can that be? Remember this?

Amazing OlbyFact: how closely the Blue Blog Sources, the arguments they raise, and examples they give, track with exactly the arguments and examples used by Oralmann tonight.

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name languishes at #23,198 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,487. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome at #29,432; O'Reilly's book is #430 there. In the battle of the paperbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #354, while Oralmann's book is a mighty #1,839. Guffaw! Liveblogging over.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• FROM THE TOP DROWN: Howard Fineman, MSNBC Political Analyst and Chief Political Reporter for Newsweek magazine
• OVERLOOKING OVERSIGHT: Con. Tim Roemer (D-IN), 9/11 Commission member
• TRUTH ABOUT TORTURE: Fmr. CIA Agent Jack Rice, Radio Show host
• LAWLESS CONTRACTORS: Sam Seder, Err America Radio Host

It's a busy night for a Tuesday. "Water boarding-Gate", the finger is directly pointed at the man who "led the team" to "torture Abu Zubaybah" (actually, he led the team to find him and never actually witnessed any water boarding himself AND is a "proud Democrat" - no mention on OlbyPlanet) points the finger at the White House. CIA got clearance from their lawyers to destroy the tapes. The CIA director still "disquietingly wearing his military uniform" (the guy is....after all....in the military, no?) testifies. Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) might support a special prosecutor. The Attorney General sounds like he "wrote platitudes for lawyers in Hallmark cards" (oooo witty). Cong. Tim Roemer (D-IN). Halliburton scandal. Old Bush "scandals." Oh, and Paris Hilton. Whoopee.

#5: HOLD THE MERLOT! Right within the first fifteen seconds, Keith bungles Abu Zubaydah's name into something like "Abu Zubahdieya." Hm...let me do some calculations here....by my estimate this would make Keith Idiot MSNBC Anchor in Chief. We know how he feels if a Republican fumbles someone's name, they're idiots! Well Mr. Denever is West of the Rockies, this just makes you even dumber. Congratulations! Where were we? Oh yeah, Zubaydah was waterboarded and it was torture according to the former CIA agent. Mr. Bush claims to not have known about the existence of the now destroyed tapes until he was informed a few days ago by that military uniform wearing guy. Clip of Press Secretary Perrino. Herr Olbermann bring in his parrot of the week, Howie. Insight of the evening? It greatly expanded the role of the White House, what Kiriakou said! Hm, I can't decide what would get more attention on OlbyPlanet, a CIA doing whatever it wants without White House involvement (therefore looking 'the other way' or being disinterested) OR a White House that is involved and checks with their lawyers at each step of the interrogation. Lose lose indeed. HOLD THE MERLOT AGAIN! Another Oralmann verbal flub. It's a doozy, clan-de-stein. Not clan-des-tin as it should be. Geeze, what's tonight? You're looking almost as dumb as a - gasp! - Republican. Investigation party. Keith gets himself in a swivet once more about Gen. Hayden still being in uniform, must be to scare people he opines. "It's definitely not required" parrots Finester. Great thanks.

Someone update The List, the latest Democrat, Con. Tom Roemer. Basically he speaks gospel to Hauptmann. Not really worth repeating. We know what he wants to hear and he's going to get it. Oversight, Oversight oversight. Yawn. Typical Fat Ass interview. He doesn't ask anything and Roemer talks endlessly. Considerable thanks.

#4: Michael Kiriakou is now suspect to Keith "Chicken and Waffles" Olbermann. Why? Well, he thinks that the "torture" worked and was worth it. That doesn't pass Sheriff Olbermann's smell test. The admission could be pure "coincidence" even though it came four days after the admission about the tape destruction. Curiously, Jabba plays a clip of Kiriakou where he seems to speak with genuine feeling about his conflicting emotions over water boarding and whether or not it was torture. Furthermore, there was must thought about it at the CIA. How this helps Krazy Keith's Konspiracy Theory is unclear to me. He's had a "surprisingly large number of interviews." Ah, well, we know what side of the fence Mr. Rice falls on. "What does this say about us?" Why would I even bother thinking that someone would say something other than "You're absolutely right" would be allowed on OlbyPlanet. Briefly, across the bottom of the screen flashes the fact that Mr. Rice is a radio show host. I wonder what kind of radio program he hosts. Thanks.

Some new segment called "Bushed!" including "Habeas Corpus-Gate" followed by "Air-Gate" rounded out by "NIE-Gate." The President is lying about Iran, apparently.

#3: Halliburton accused of covering up a gang rape of a former employee. I am not going to say anything about this outside of the fact that if it's true, it's horrifying. People should be prosecuted. I will, however, state my belief why Keith is doing this story. Anything to hammer supposed Halliburton - Bush administration connections to cover up wrong doings.

#2: Paris Hilton and an Oompa Loompa. Laughing Stagehand Laughs. Alex Trebek suffered a heart attack.

#1: Fmr. President Clinton heckled by a robot. Dana Milbank on the robot, Oprah and Hillary's woes.

In the media matters minute, Isaiah Thomas gets the bronze for blaming Knicks fans. Silver: Sean Hannity of Fixed Noise [Ding!] for not telling the audience that Rep. Murtha still believes we can't win in Iraq though the surge is working, from Hillary Clinton's Media Matters. Gold: Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council via Crooks and Liars.

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's collapsed to #26,645 at amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #4,127. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome managed #31,564 at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #434 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Monday's Hour of Spin's numbers were unavailable at the time of this writing. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 3 [GUARDED]

We promised a special post about Keith Oralmann and his favorite general, John Batiste. The general who was touted without end on The Hour of Spin, who was promptly given the Seat of Honor on the Countdown set so he could pontificate about how the surge was doomed to failure. The general who inspired one of the klassic Keith Special Education Komments that today sounds more hilariously hysterical than ever. You see, the general has spoken out again about the surge, and all of a sudden his patron, his PR flack, Edward R Olbermann, has discarded him like a used up Handi-Wipe. Apparently he is a traitor to OlbyPlanet and not only will he not be invited back onto The Hour of Spin, his is the name that will not be mentioned by The Great and Powerful Olb. (Unless there's a "worst person" in the works for him, of course.)

This is all by way of introduction to a delightful audio foray with John Gibson, who talks to Sally Kohn of the Daily Kos. They touch on waterboarding, the surge, Gen Batiste, and--best of all--the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• WATERBOARDINGGATE: Richard Wolffe, Jonathan Turley
• PROJECT RUDY/HUCKABEE: Dana Milbank
• OPRABAMARAMA!: Clarence Page

It's another opening spiel, as bellowed by the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann: WaterboardingGate! Attacks on Huckabee (R) and Rudy (R)! Oprah! It's blue Monday on Olbermann Watch. And a day when a big, ginormous Dog That Did Not Bark grew even more ginormous tonight. We'll have the devastating details.

#5: "Another Bush administration scandal"! Olby cites John Kiriakou but glides over his statements about how waterboarding worked and completely omits any mention of how it saved lives. That violates OlbySpin and is not permitted on OlbyPlanet. Jay Rockefeller (D) gets a mention, and The Wolffe Man skulked in to help attack Dana Perino. Great thanks.

Next up, Olby and the Perfessor. How long does it take him to claim a federal crime has been committed? Oh, about 15 seconds. Herr Oralmann made a claim that Kiriakou said waterboarding is "wrong" and "we shouldn't have done it". Where did he find that in the transcript? Your guess is as good as ours. Here is what the man actually said to Brian Ross:

BRIAN ROSS: But given that you felt that-- water-boarding (?) and the enhanced interrogation broke him, if you- - if somebody else was caught today, wouldn't you wanna use those same techniques?

JOHN:
I think that I would be very tempted to use the
same techniques. I--

BRIAN ROSS:
In other words, in your view, they-- they do
work?

JOHN:
I-- yes, they do work.

BRIAN ROSS:
No doubt about that?

JOHN:
But like a lot of Americans, I think I-- I'm
involved in this-- this internal, intellectual
battle with myself weighing the idea that water-
boarding may be torture, versus the quality of
information that we-- that we often get after
using the water-boarding technique. And I
struggle with it, I think like a lot of people
do, where like I said earlier, we're Americans
and we're better than this. And we shouldn't be
doing this kinda thing.
But at the same time, what happens if we don't
water-board a person and we don't get that nugget
of information, and there's an attack on a-- on a
movie theater or a shopping mall or-- or in
midtown Manhattan, you know, at rush hour? Then-
- then what do we do? I-- I would have trouble
forgiving myself.

Gee, whatever happened to Monkeymann's claim that "torture never works"? Does that sound like Kiriakou said "we shouldn't have done it"? Where did that entire chunk of transcript go that Krazy Keith simply erased from the newshole tonight? Great thanks.

#4: Time for the nightly assault on the GOP. 15-year-old comments from Huckabee (R) on AIDS (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress), and the "very logical" comments from Tim Russert to Rudy (R) (mildy assertive questions to Bill Jefferson Clinton get the Jewish interviewer called a "monkey", but when someone does to it Rudy, Olbermahn swoons). Olby dismissed Huck's popularity as due to the "born agains". Dana Milbank, sans splashy suit, played his scripted role. Great thanks.

#3: It's an Oprabamarama! The O speaks, Hillary brings out B.J. and Chelsea. Olby does damage control for Madame Clinton: won't Oprah "overshadow" Barack? Won't she go "off-message"? Page didn't think so. Page wasn't Great Thanksed but he was Pleasured.

#2: Michael Vick (who Oralmann thought should go past jail and straight back to the NFL). #1: Dana Perino! Bush's Brain [Ding!]! Larry Birkhead!

In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermahn went after David Ignatius (Blue Blog Source: sure enough! Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) for daring to criticize Hillary Clinton, Huckabee (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos, Keith's favorite charity), and "lunatic fringe" [Ding!] Hugh Hewitt (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). His crime was being mentioned by Dan Bartlett as a blogger who would "regurgitate" the White House position. How ironic, given that Oralmann is a sportscaster who regurgitates posts from lefty blogs!

Dogs That Did Not Bark: Special Groundhog Day Edition. Monkeymann has leapt to attack Republicans who dared speak of Barack Obama's middle name (Hussein). Why, this is "pathetic and ugly", sermonized Rev Olbermahn. "We have this right-wing implication that you must have the right name or the right God to be American.... Is it to point out the racial element to this, or the religious element to this? Or is it just to say, this beneath contempt and not worthy of any response?" Wow that sort of stuff really upsets Olby. (Well, except when he does it himself, like when he ridiculed Michelle Malkin's maiden name. But we digress.) It wasn't that long ago when Edward R Olbermann was attacking other broadcasters over a report that Obama may have attended a Muslim school. That was good for several days of ranting and bellowing. But now, not only is someone spreading the madrassah story again, they're tossing a new angle: a claim that Obama is really a secret Muslim himself! Whoa! Our boy Keith is going to be all over this, right? He's really going to slam whoever is doing this, right? Um, no. Not a word. That was last week. And now it happens again. And Edward R Olbermann spikes the story. Again. (And that's not even counting yet another person involved in the smear campaign.) Yet still Keith Oralmann says nary a word. Because he's a slovenly political hack.

Oh, and we would be remiss if we did not mention Gen John Batiste. Cited on Countdown dozens of times; the last time he spoke out about the Iraq war he was promptly brought in as a guest in the Countdown Seat of Honor. He has spoken out again. Don't hold your breath waiting for Herr Olbermann to give him another invite. More on this in a very special post, coming shortly on Olbermann Watch.

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name plummeted to #27,723 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,346. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome at #33,857; O'Reilly's book is #1,248 there. In the battle of the paperbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #330, while Oralmann's book is a mighty #1,734. Chortle! Friday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Topics/Guests:

• CIA DESTROYED INTERROGRATION TAPES
• REPUBLICANS CALL FOR REVIEW OF THE NIE: Rachel Maddow, know-it-all national security expert
• 2008 ELECTION & PROJECT RUDY

It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch. So casual that we're skipping the recap. In its place, enjoy:

If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 24 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 4 times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -48 [musto limp].

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #11,396 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #8,314. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome at #50,284; O'Reilly's book is #377 there. In the battle of the paperbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #355, while Oralmann's book is a mighty #1,963. Harrr! Special Education Komment Thursday still found the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann in another humiliating loss to his nemesis, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 3 [GUARDED]

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO THE NIE: Howard Fineman, Dana Milbank
• HOMELAND SECURITY: Rachel Maddow, national security expert
• JENNA ON ELLEN

The tan man barked the opening spiel: Bush lied! Bush lied again! Bush knew he was lying! Liar! Liar! Creepy pants on fire! Jenna & Ellen! And--what's this?--another O'Reilly attack! It's hump day--maybe better described as Groundhog Day--at Olbermann Watch, a day on which our Fat Ass is suddenly, mysteriously silent about something he has railed against for days on end. One big, honking, ginormous Dog That Did Not Bark, tonight, on Olbermann Watch.

#5: Would you believe it? For the third day in a row, the NIE was the lead, top, Big, Blockbuster! story on The Hour of Spin. Remember, there was an NIE released in 2005 that found Iran was pursuing nuclear weapons. And because the NIE is a lead, top, Big, Blockbuster! story, how many days of flogging did Herr Olbermann give the 2005 NIE? (Insert Jeopardy music here.) Three days? Sorry, no. Two days? Uh-uh. One day? Sorry, wrong again. How about: Zero Days! On OlbyPlanet the NIE is only a lead, top, Big, Blockbuster! story when it advances OlbySpin. When it doesn't, it is simply ignored.

Neocons! [Ding!] Pundit for All Occasions. Neocon! [Ding!] Bolton is ignorant (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress)! Great thanks. Republicans are ignorant! Giuliani too! And Fred (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress)! And Huckabee (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress)! Clinton defends her Iran Revolutionary Guard vote. The Great and Powerful Olb dedicated exactly one weasely question to that subject. Dana Milbank, deprived of dashing duds, served up OlbySpin better than Olby himself. Great thanks.

#4: GOP = Grand Old Profiteering. Man, who is sponsoring this show, the DNC? Oh wait, they don't have to sponsor it. Their propaganda is included for free. Olby cites a left-wing special interest group without telling anyone it's a left-wing special interest group. Bush "criminality"! Krazy Keith Konspiracy of the Night: Homeland Security is designed to funnel money to Bush cronies. Who better to serve as expert analyst than a far-left radio entertainer? Welcome to OlbyPlanet. Great thanks.

#3: Mall shooting (a phone report that sounded like it was coming from the Lunar Lander). #2: High School Musical, book plug. #1: Jenna & Ellen, with Critian Finnegan. Olby plays Dr Freud in wondering why Jenna kept saying she's gonna be in trouble, talks about Bush in a bubble [Ding!], and a good time was had by all.

In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermahn went after "lunatic fringe" [Ding!] Charles Krauthammer (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters), "racist" "Willard" Mitt Romney (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos, Keith's favorite charity), and of course , yes, Mr Bill (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). Geez, isn't this getting a little old? Straight from Brock's website to Oralmann's teleprompter.

Dogs That Did Not Bark: OK, here's the deal. Monkeymann has leapt to attack Republicans who dared speak of Barack Obama's middle name (Hussein). Why, this is "pathetic and ugly", sermonized Rev Olbermahn. "We have this right-wing implication that you must have the right name or the right God to be American.... Is it to point out the racial element to this, or the religious element to this? Or is it just to say, this beneath contempt and not worthy of any response?" Wow that sort of stuff really upsets Olby. (Well, except when he does it himself, like when he ridiculed Michelle Malkin's maiden name. But we digress.) It wasn't that long ago when Edward R Olbermann was attacking other broadcasters over a report that Obama may have attended a Muslim school. That was good for several days of ranting and bellowing. But now, not only is someone spreading the madrassah story again, they're tossing in a new angle: a claim that Obama is really a secret Muslim himself! Whoa! Our boy Keith is going to be all over this, right? He's really going to slam whoever is doing this, right? Um, no.

Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name sunk #12,826 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #7,502. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome at #60,934; O'Reilly's book is #904 there. In the battle of the paperbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #375, while Oralmann's book is a mighty #2,102. Snicker! Tuesday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss to You Know Who both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 5 [ELEVATED]

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: David Shuster

Topics/Guests:

• THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION: Rachel Maddow, Air America
• SEN. LARRY CRAIG SCANDAL: Dana Milbank, Washington Post national political reporter and MSNBC political analyst

Most well informed footballing folk
Think that Keith's coverage is a joke.
Now since Collinsworth said
Let's get Bill O instead,
Olby's gone to his bathtub to soak.

Oralmann interviewing Edwards on Thursday proved to be a shameless display of illimitable insincerity, both by the candidate and by the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann. John Gibson unmasks both, and even takes a look at The List: