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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The tan man barked the opening spiel: Bush lied! Bush lied again! Bush knew he was lying! Liar! Liar! Creepy pants on fire! Jenna & Ellen! And--what's this?--another O'Reilly attack! It's hump day--maybe better described as Groundhog Day--at Olbermann Watch, a day on which our Fat Ass is suddenly, mysteriously silent about something he has railed against for days on end. One big, honking, ginormous Dog That Did Not Bark, tonight, on Olbermann Watch.
#5: Would you believe it? For the third day in a row, the NIE was the lead, top, Big, Blockbuster! story on The Hour of Spin. Remember, there was an NIE released in 2005 that found Iran was pursuing nuclear weapons. And because the NIE is a lead, top, Big, Blockbuster! story, how many days of flogging did Herr Olbermann give the 2005 NIE? (Insert Jeopardy music here.) Three days? Sorry, no. Two days? Uh-uh. One day? Sorry, wrong again. How about: Zero Days! On OlbyPlanet the NIE is only a lead, top, Big, Blockbuster! story when it advances OlbySpin. When it doesn't, it is simply ignored.
Neocons! [Ding!] Pundit for All Occasions. Neocon! [Ding!] Bolton is ignorant (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress)! Great thanks. Republicans are ignorant! Giuliani too! And Fred (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress)! And Huckabee (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress)! Clinton defends her Iran Revolutionary Guard vote. The Great and Powerful Olb dedicated exactly one weasely question to that subject. Dana Milbank, deprived of dashing duds, served up OlbySpin better than Olby himself. Great thanks.
#4: GOP = Grand Old Profiteering. Man, who is sponsoring this show, the DNC? Oh wait, they don't have to sponsor it. Their propaganda is included for free. Olby cites a left-wing special interest group without telling anyone it's a left-wing special interest group. Bush "criminality"! Krazy Keith Konspiracy of the Night: Homeland Security is designed to funnel money to Bush cronies. Who better to serve as expert analyst than a far-left radio entertainer? Welcome to OlbyPlanet. Great thanks.
#3: Mall shooting (a phone report that sounded like it was coming from the Lunar Lander). #2: High School Musical, book plug. #1: Jenna & Ellen, with Critian Finnegan. Olby plays Dr Freud in wondering why Jenna kept saying she's gonna be in trouble, talks about Bush in a bubble [Ding!], and a good time was had by all.
In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermahn went after "lunatic fringe" [Ding!] Charles Krauthammer (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters), "racist" "Willard" Mitt Romney (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos, Keith's favorite charity), and of course , yes, Mr Bill (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). Geez, isn't this getting a little old? Straight from Brock's website to Oralmann's teleprompter.
Dogs That Did Not Bark: OK, here's the deal. Monkeymann has leapt to attack Republicans who dared speak of Barack Obama's middle name (Hussein). Why, this is "pathetic and ugly", sermonized Rev Olbermahn. "We have this right-wing implication that you must have the right name or the right God to be American.... Is it to point out the racial element to this, or the religious element to this? Or is it just to say, this beneath contempt and not worthy of any response?" Wow that sort of stuff really upsets Olby. (Well, except when he does it himself, like when he ridiculed Michelle Malkin's maiden name. But we digress.) It wasn't that long ago when Edward R Olbermann was attacking other broadcasters over a report that Obama may have attended a Muslim school. That was good for several days of ranting and bellowing. But now, not only is someone spreading the madrassah story again, they're tossing in a new angle: a claim that Obama is really a secret Muslim himself! Whoa! Our boy Keith is going to be all over this, right? He's really going to slam whoever is doing this, right? Um, no.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name sunk #12,826 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #7,502. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome at #60,934; O'Reilly's book is #904 there. In the battle of the paperbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #375, while Oralmann's book is a mighty #2,102. Snicker! Tuesday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss to You Know Who both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 5 [ELEVATED]