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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
It's another opening spiel, as bellowed by the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann: WaterboardingGate! Attacks on Huckabee (R) and Rudy (R)! Oprah! It's blue Monday on Olbermann Watch. And a day when a big, ginormous Dog That Did Not Bark grew even more ginormous tonight. We'll have the devastating details.
#5: "Another Bush administration scandal"! Olby cites John Kiriakou but glides over his statements about how waterboarding worked and completely omits any mention of how it saved lives. That violates OlbySpin and is not permitted on OlbyPlanet. Jay Rockefeller (D) gets a mention, and The Wolffe Man skulked in to help attack Dana Perino. Great thanks.
Next up, Olby and the Perfessor. How long does it take him to claim a federal crime has been committed? Oh, about 15 seconds. Herr Oralmann made a claim that Kiriakou said waterboarding is "wrong" and "we shouldn't have done it". Where did he find that in the transcript? Your guess is as good as ours. Here is what the man actually said to Brian Ross:
BRIAN ROSS: But given that you felt that-- water-boarding (?) and the enhanced interrogation broke him, if you- - if somebody else was caught today, wouldn't you wanna use those same techniques?
I think that I would be very tempted to use the
same techniques. I--
In other words, in your view, they-- they do
I-- yes, they do work.
No doubt about that?
But like a lot of Americans, I think I-- I'm
involved in this-- this internal, intellectual
battle with myself weighing the idea that water-
boarding may be torture, versus the quality of
information that we-- that we often get after
using the water-boarding technique. And I
struggle with it, I think like a lot of people
do, where like I said earlier, we're Americans
and we're better than this. And we shouldn't be
doing this kinda thing.
But at the same time, what happens if we don't
water-board a person and we don't get that nugget
of information, and there's an attack on a-- on a
movie theater or a shopping mall or-- or in
midtown Manhattan, you know, at rush hour? Then-
- then what do we do? I-- I would have trouble
Gee, whatever happened to Monkeymann's claim that "torture never works"? Does that sound like Kiriakou said "we shouldn't have done it"? Where did that entire chunk of transcript go that Krazy Keith simply erased from the newshole tonight? Great thanks.
#4: Time for the nightly assault on the GOP. 15-year-old comments from Huckabee (R) on AIDS (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress), and the "very logical" comments from Tim Russert to Rudy (R) (mildy assertive questions to Bill Jefferson Clinton get the Jewish interviewer called a "monkey", but when someone does to it Rudy, Olbermahn swoons). Olby dismissed Huck's popularity as due to the "born agains". Dana Milbank, sans splashy suit, played his scripted role. Great thanks.
#3: It's an Oprabamarama! The O speaks, Hillary brings out B.J. and Chelsea. Olby does damage control for Madame Clinton: won't Oprah "overshadow" Barack? Won't she go "off-message"? Page didn't think so. Page wasn't Great Thanksed but he was Pleasured.
#2: Michael Vick (who Oralmann thought should go past jail and straight back to the NFL). #1: Dana Perino! Bush's Brain [Ding!]! Larry Birkhead!
In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermahn went after David Ignatius (Blue Blog Source: sure enough! Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) for daring to criticize Hillary Clinton, Huckabee (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos, Keith's favorite charity), and "lunatic fringe" [Ding!] Hugh Hewitt (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). His crime was being mentioned by Dan Bartlett as a blogger who would "regurgitate" the White House position. How ironic, given that Oralmann is a sportscaster who regurgitates posts from lefty blogs!
Dogs That Did Not Bark: Special Groundhog Day Edition. Monkeymann has leapt to attack Republicans who dared speak of Barack Obama's middle name (Hussein). Why, this is "pathetic and ugly", sermonized Rev Olbermahn. "We have this right-wing implication that you must have the right name or the right God to be American.... Is it to point out the racial element to this, or the religious element to this? Or is it just to say, this beneath contempt and not worthy of any response?" Wow that sort of stuff really upsets Olby. (Well, except when he does it himself, like when he ridiculed Michelle Malkin's maiden name. But we digress.) It wasn't that long ago when Edward R Olbermann was attacking other broadcasters over a report that Obama may have attended a Muslim school. That was good for several days of ranting and bellowing. But now, not only is someone spreading the madrassah story again, they're tossing a new angle: a claim that Obama is really a secret Muslim himself! Whoa! Our boy Keith is going to be all over this, right? He's really going to slam whoever is doing this, right? Um, no. Not a word. That was last week. And now it happens again. And Edward R Olbermann spikes the story. Again. (And that's not even counting yet another person involved in the smear campaign.) Yet still Keith Oralmann says nary a word. Because he's a slovenly political hack.
Oh, and we would be remiss if we did not mention Gen John Batiste. Cited on Countdown dozens of times; the last time he spoke out about the Iraq war he was promptly brought in as a guest in the Countdown Seat of Honor. He has spoken out again. Don't hold your breath waiting for Herr Olbermann to give him another invite. More on this in a very special post, coming shortly on Olbermann Watch.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name plummeted to #27,723 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,346. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome at #33,857; O'Reilly's book is #1,248 there. In the battle of the paperbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #330, while Oralmann's book is a mighty #1,734. Chortle! Friday brought the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann another humiliating loss both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".