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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith Oralmann barked the last opening spiel of the week: More Rudy attacks! Hillary & Obama! Dems vs Bush! WaterboardingGate! Yet another O'Reilly attack! Falafel! [Ding!] It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch, and an Olbypocrisy Alert day on which once again Monkeymann walks right into a propellor of his own making.
#5: Rudy "reinventing" himself. Giuliani "profitted" from the war on terror. Then the clincher: "perhaps illegally". That's the kind of journalism they practice on OlbyPlanet. But wait, it gets better: another episode of Dirty Olby and Crazy Larry [The List!]! Edward R Olbermann keeps referring to Mitt Romney as "Willard"--just like they do at Daily Kos (Keith's favorite charity). Olby & Larry carried water again for the left by continuing Project Rudy: damage the strongest GOP candidate in any way possible. We got the usual expert, far-seeing analysis from Larry "Watch for a half-dozen indictments in the Plame case" O'Donnell. Great thanks.
Next up, "Heellary" Clinton's "makeover". The talk with the Pundit for All Occasions was not a litany of attacks and snarks, like Fat Ass served up for Rudy. No, this was a pair of aging pundits sympathetically trying to come up with ways Hill can resuscitate her campaign. Olby crowed about how some Hill quote was so "right" and Good Weekended the Finester.
#4: The Democrats are not far-left enough, featuring Markos of the Daily Kos [The List!]. Kos started simpering about...
Wait! Stop the tivo! It's an Olbypocrisy Alert!
Flashback to October 18, when Monkeymann made Sean Hannity "worst person in the world. Why? Because Hannity interviewed Giuliani and didn't mention that he had once introduced him at a fundraiser.
And now here is Edward R Olbermann interviewing Markos Moulitsas. Yeah, so what? The so what is that Krazy Keith did more than introduce Kos to a sycophantic crowd. He actually contributed and helped raise money for Kos. And guess what? Olby failed to disclose that tonight during his blue-dress interview with The Big Kos. Keith Olbermann, Worst Person, but the Very Best Hypocrite, in the World!
#3: An entire segment on Bill O'Reilly. Yes, this is NBC's "news hour of record". Falafel! [Ding!] O'Reilly and his friends are "antisemitic", according to Keith "Nazi Salute" Olbermahn, famed recipient of a protest letter from the ADL. Multiple slice-and-dice quotes followed, in that phony voice that Fat Ass believes is funny. Dana Milbank, without weird wardrobe, didn't follow Oralmann's lead and refused to stick up for Jim McDermott (D), but he redeemed himself sufficiently to be Good Any Holiday You Decide To Support-ed.
#2: Britney Spears, self-plug. #1: 2007's awkward moments.
In the Media Matters Minute, Herr Olbermahn stuck to favorite targets: Chris Shays (R), Fox Business, and of course "worst" was O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). This was a particularly repellent smear, as Fat Ass took a joke line from O'Reilly and soberly portrayed it as "defending Nazi murderers". Yes, this from Keith "Sieg Heil" Olbermahn. Once again, straight from Brock's website to Oralmann's teleprompter.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 25 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC five times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -50 [pantywaist limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name languishes at #23,920 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,172. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble has the OlbyTome at #27,888; O'Reilly's book is #362 there. In the battle of the paperbacks: Amazon lists Culture Warrior at #268, while Oralmann's book is a mighty #2,655. Guffaw! Another Thursday, another humiliating loss for the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".