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It's time for our annual list of the worst, most egregious, most outrageous lies from the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann. It's the toughest job of the year: narrowing the list down to just ten. There is so much to choose from! Be that as it may, the staff of Olbermann Watch has caucused and the votes have been cast. Here are Keith Olbermann's Top Ten Lies of 2007:
#10 - Keith Olbermann just can't help itself when it comes to Fox News. It's Extreme Olby: Envy Edition as hardly a day goes by without some attack on a news channel that is actually successful. The usual tactic is to claim something on Fox was untrue or a lie, when it wasn't. Or another favorite: make a sweeping claim that you know is untrue, because it appeals to your blue blog base. But the #10 winner uses a more blatant technique: just make up something about Fox, broadcast it as if it were the truth, and never correct the record.
#9 - Olbermahn's diseased loathing for anyone to the right of Fidel Castro--like his hatred of Fox--regularly sends KO into fits of fantasy, where facts and truth are dispensible annoyances. So he'll, say, invent totally fictitious statistics to slander the American Enterprise Institute. Just as he will misstate a whole fistful of facts when it suits his purposes. This syndrome also explains the lunatic statement that comes in at #9 in the countdown: "Mister" Bush is the first President ever to fire US attorneys.
#8 - When Monkeymann gets worked up about something, the truth just isn't good enough. It's much more effective when Olby himself can create a phony quote and use that to make his dishonest points. You know, like when he spent an entire segment berating Rudy for something he never said? In our #8 entry, note how Herr Olbermann pulls that same trick: to "prove" a point he cites a Patrick Fitzgerald statement that turns out to be, well, imaginary.
#7 - You know that since we are on the threshhold of O'Reilly attack #400, there had to be some doozies in 2007. There are too many Olbermann Lies about Bill O'Reilly to detail without running out of space. We've selected this and this as our representative examples for #7.
#6 - Republicans beware. Edward R Olbermann will cover up for Hillary and spike stories that paint her in a bad light. But if you have an (R) after your name the Hsu is on the other foot. Bathtub Boy will run endless scandal stories, and if the blue blogs don't give him enough ammunition, then he can cook up Another Olbermann Lie or two. Governor Gibbons (R) learned how truthful Olby's reports are: not very. So it is that lie #6 in our countdown finds Mr Merkle berating Mitt Romney for something that--all together now--Romney never said! Yes, another phony, doctored quote from Olbermoronn.
#5 - As quickly as Herr Olbermann will rush to attack other broadcasters, he is oh-so-careful not to upset his corporate masters at A-Mess-NBC. He'll broadcast flat-out fabrications, like claiming Rudy Giuliani's Presidential campaign is being run by--get ready for this--Fox's Roger Ailes. He'll even lie about the contents of a competitor's blog. But our #5 entry shows Keith "Man on Fan" Olbermann at his most desperate. So eager was he to protect a possible NBC hire (Rosie O'Donnell) he doctored her words (sound familiar?) to claim she never compared US troops to terrorists. Then he blamed "Fox Noise"--another lie to protect his own sorry butt, since the people who accused Rosie of the troops/terrorism comparison were Joe Scarborough, Chris Matthews, and Howard Fineman--not on Fox, but on MSNBC!
#4 - More lies about Fox News. We could do a top ten list every month the way Oralmann spews them. Whether it's a smear of Chris Wallace, or a slander of Brit Hume, the one thing you can trust about Monkeymann's attacks is that you cannot trust Monkeymann's attacks. That's what made this #4: Keith Olbermann contructs an ostentatious salvo at Fox over a leak. And guess what? Every single statement he made about Fox News was false. Untrue. An elaborate edifice of lies.
#3 - When Oralmann gets a bee in his bonnet, there is nothing that will stand in the way of OlbySpin. So he will pretend Richard Armitage never existed and assert that Karl Rove was an "original leaker" of Valerie Plame. To attack GWB, he'll invent a nonexistent checklist of rules for Presidential pardons. But his blatant dishonesty about waterboarding is our #3 lie. Olby's duplicity about Daniel Levin was so shamelessly barefaced that even the fawning mainstream media called him on it, something that gave John Gibson no end of pleasure.
#2 - Did you know that Keith Olbermann doesn't indulge in personal attacks? Why no, he's above all that. Sure, tell that to Liz Claman. In #2 of our countdown, observe how Fat Ass, to fuel yet another error-ridden critique of GWB, is willing to smear two writers: ridicule their professions, lie about their success... There can be no doubt that Keith Olbermann is The Model of a Liar.
And finally, here it is, the #1 Keith Olbermann lie of 2007. In fact it bids fair to be the greatest lie of his sorry career: "I'm not politically biased."
Happy New Year from Olbermann Watch!