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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The kid with the bestest baseball card collection on the block bellowed the last opening spiel of the week: John Edwards up six points! Super Tuesday will decide nothing! Attack on McCain! Britney! Orwell! [Ding!] It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch--the blog that Keith Olbermann himself reads.
#5: It's an Edwards surge! He's coming alive! Don't write him off! He might lose in second place instead of third! Obama on Letterman. Dana Milbank, minus mangy mufti, bloviated that Merkle's wet dream about Edwards coming in second was at best "extremely unlikely". Aww, poor Olby. Poor Dana, he didn't even get Great Thanksed.
Poll shows McCain would tie Obama head-to-head. But then Edward R Olbermann noted if you substitute Hillary Clinton "it gets worse". What gets worse about it? McCain beats her by two points. That's "worse" on OlbyPlanet. Krazy Keith again beat his drum for Silky and worried some more about Republicans. Olbermann's Brain chortled.
After a Fox Noise [Ding!] came #4: When will the nominations be decided? Not even on Super Tuesday, says Chuck Todd. Oh wait, that was last Friday. Let's try that again. When will the nominations be decided? Not even on Super Tuesday, says Slippery. Another Groundhog Day moment on The Hour of Spin.
#3: The GOP debate was full of "wacked out Republican lies" and GOP "bloodlust". A "remarkably large quantity of lies" in fact. Willard [Ding!] "lied". "Crazy" Huckabee dredged up another "lie". More "bloodlust". For unbiased analysis, Sam Seder of Err America piled on.
After a Fox Noise [Ding!] and a Fixed News [Ding!], #2: Las Vegas fire, Ledger. #1: Some Britney crap I skipped over. In the Media Matters Minute, Oralmann was so desperate to attack Fixed News [Ding!] that he pretended that an unscripted extemporaneous reference to when Lincoln "left office" meant that the speaker was an idiot who didn't know Lincoln was assassinated (Blue Blog Source: Hullabaloo). Yeah, unconvincing and petty, but that's Olbermoronn all over. Hey Keithy, are you still telling people that the House of Representatives can mount a filibuster? How could you even get a job delivering newspapers, sport? Fox Noise! [Ding!] Oh, and we also got O'Reilly attack #409 (Blue Blog Source: TVNewser).
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 31 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 21 times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -104 [musto limp].
Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]