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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
UPDATE: SPECIAL APOLOGY VIDEO [OLBYWATCH REMIX] ADDED
The last opening spiel of the week: Dems battle on! Expectation lowering! Bush at CPAC! WaterboardingGate! An Oddball Extravanza. And a Special Apology! [Those pesky producers again, forcing him to cover something.] It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: The Great (election) Race. The Pundit for All Occasions (Imus supporter Fineman) chattered but was not Great Thanksed.
Clip of an unusually sedate Bill Jefferson Clinton. Hillary's cash flowing again, as is Obama's. Oralmann suggests Hill's poor-mouthing was a "ploy". KO was stunned that a candidate would loan money to the campaign: "Have we seen this before?" Lefty Alter nattered but was not Great Thanksed.
Then Herr Olbermahn turned to the "assiduous, excellent, keen" reportorial work of Slippery "Karl Rove will be indicted" Shuster, aka Robin. Bathman read the teleprompter script about the suspension and delivered one of his trademark Special Apologies: he and A-Mess-NBC were "dreadfully sorry", Uncle Albert. Grovel, grovel, was that good for you, Brock?
Fox Noise! [Ding!] #4: "Mister" Bush and his "historically low" approval ratings. No mention of the historically low approval ratings for Congress however. This is The Hour of Spin, after all. Comedian Rachel Maddow of Err America yammered about "warmonger" Bush and was Great Thanksed.
#3: WaterBoardingTapingBoardingNotInvestigatingWaterGate. Quote from Durbin (D). Quotes from (R): zero. Plus TeleComImmunityEavesdroppingGate. Time for another meeting of the Olbermann Criminal Rehabilitation Program with star subject: John Dean. Watergate! [Ding!] The felon bloviated about "war crimes" and a "grand conspiracy". Nixon! [Ding!] The disbarred lawyer opined that Cheney can be charged with "war crimes". Sure enough, he was Great Thanksed.
Fixed News! [Ding!] Fox Noise! [Ding!] #2: Steroids, K-Fed, Britney, Heath Ledger. #1: Oddballapalooza.
At various point tonight Oralmann repeatedly said that Fox "cancelled" its "best show". Another Olbermann Lie: the show in question was not cancelled--it's being revamped, not eliminated. But such fine distinctions are irrelevant on OlbyPlanet. (Olby's Blue Blog Source: TVNewser--Olby wouldn't dare credit the actual story source). The Media Matters Minute also brought us O'Reilly attack #414 (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters), and Tom DeLay (Blue Blog Source: Conservation Value--note how Fat Ass converts the story from criticism of Chris Matthews to an attack on Delay).
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Even though this was only a four day week, Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 30 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 18 times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -96 [pantywaist limp]. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 643rd day since the declaration that "Karl Rove will be indicted".
UPDATE: Keith's Special Apology for David Shuster, OlbyWatch Edition: