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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The operative number tonight is "three". Day three of flogging the John McCain story. Day three of flogging the "irredeemable racist" O'Reilly. Opening spiel: Hillary is "not so conciliatory". Plagiarism charge backfires on Hillary. McCain again! FISA! O'Reilly attack #420! It's a "non-apology"! The Rev Jackson! And Olbypocrisy to the ultimate power! It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Clip of Hillary. Oralmann accuses her of plagiarizing from John Edwards (Blue Blog Source: HuffPo). A Hillary staffer at an Obama rally: it's a "microcosm"! ("Metaphor" had the night off.) Dana Milbank, lacking loud livery, yammered as Bear used his affected, phony laughter as punctuation. Dana was Great Thanksed.
The pile-on continued. Clinton has not "clarified" her campaign. She contradicted herself "literally seconds later". Her answers change "literally every 15 seconds". (Is "literally" the new "assidiously"?) Lefty Alter nattered in football analogies, and we're lucky "Man on Fan" Olbermann didn't resort to saying Barack "Chicken and Waffles" Obama. Lefty opined Clinton's best move is to get out of the race, and for that he was Great Thanksed.
After a plug for "Lock-Up Raw: Violence Behind Bars" came #4: more McCain flogging (Blue Blog Source: BuzzFlash). McCain "tries to have it both ways". McCain attacks the NYTimes! The only nod to any substantive criticism of the Times article was Olby sarcastically noting comments by the White House, McCain's lawyer, and Sean Hannity. Are they the only people raising questions about the journalism? Well they are on OlbyPlanet. (See canines, below.) Oh, and Edward R Olbermann says this is all the Republicans fault for nominating a dishonest candidate.
McCain: Hypocrisy! Corruption! Slippery Shuster, having finished his double-secret off the record probation, sneered his way through Day Three of the McCain jihad with a dissertation on "letters", "issues", and the like. He was Great Thanksed, despite his previous infractions. Oh that's OK. He apologized. Yeah. More on that below.
#3: Fisa fears. Another rehash. Radical right! [Ding!] Come to think of it, isn't it the third day flogging this story too? Bad things do come in threes. Dan Froomkin parrotted.
#2: The Media Matters Minute: Frank Luntz (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters...you can see the unedited video of this shocking outrage here). Fixed News! [Ding!] Worst: Mukasey and McConnell for not wanted to lose valuable intelligence.
#1: O'Reilly attack #420. Yep, it's day three of the holy war against the eeevil O'Reilly. So what if he apologized? Jesse "Hymie-Town" Jackson said it wasn't an apology at all. And Olby insisted it was a "flaccid non-apology" because he said "if my statement offended anybody".
Stop the tivo! Olbypocrisy Alert! Was it a flaccid non-apology when Al Sharpton--on MSNBC--said "if I offended Mormons with the misuse of my words, I would apologize"? Or how about Chris Matthews: "If I offended anybody, I'm sorry"? Oh and most delicious of all, your very own Slippery Shuster: "To the extent that people feel I was being pejorative, I apologize for that." We're waiting for you to do three days of resignation demands on these people, Olbercrite!
Quiescent canines: Day after day of smearing John McCain, a P.O.W. and decorated war hero. Of course Keithy did not go into the ethics of the New York Times piece, even though several distinguished journalists have been strongly crtitical. That's because Bear is a slovenly political hack. Plus Day after day of smearing Bill O'Reilly for defending Michelle Obama with a word Fat Ass doesn't like. (And we know what kind of words are on the Bathtub Boy approved list.) So with all that important, breaking news to cover, Olbermannijad just didn't have time to make any mention of this. Aside from his weird, homoerotic Olbsession with Bill O'Reilly, Oralmann's most predictable spin is covering for his buddies in Tehran.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week, Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 26 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 11 times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -74 [sissy limp].
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 657th day since the declaration that "Karl Rove will be indicted".