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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M.)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Uh oh. For weeks Herr Olbermann has been screaming that Obama's gaffes aren't gaffes at all. He's gaining in the polls. Those non-gaffes have actually given him a bump! He's more popular than ever! But then the inconvenient truth: the voters of Pennsylvania had a different idea. It's desperation time on OlbyPlanet, and it showed in the opening spiel: Hillary won "with smoke and mirrors"! Obama's delegate lead now clinched! Daily McCain attack! Crank the spin dial to 11, it's Damage Control Night at Olbermann Watch. And watch out, there's another Great Moment in Olbypocrisy coming that will stun you.
#5: Hillary said she's ahead in the popular vote; Oralmann ridiculed that endlessly. It's "basically over". Hot Toddy again counted the delegates and said it's over. More Fat Ass whining about the popular vote. Hot Toddy concluded that it's over. We get the impression that tonight's talking point is: it's over.
Olby rushed to quote the NY Times anti-Clinton editorial. Why? Because it agreed with OlbySpin. When he reads from an editorial it always parrots his views. Olbermahn went on to threaten "retribution" to get her out of the race because, you know, it's over. Besides, Hillary keeps losing voters (yes, he said this after she won by 10 points!). The Pundit for All Occasions did his usual pliant job.
#4: More spin for Hillary about neighboring states, kitchen sinks, yada yada. Olby wondered what Obama's next move should be, which is odd, since, after all, it's over. The Wolffe Man simpered and concluded that: it's over. He was Great Thanksed.
After a penis joke (that delighted The Laughing Stagehand) came #3: a "racist" (natch) Republican ad against Obama. Except that it's not against Obama, it's against a couple of local candidates. Such fine distinctions are irrelevant on OlbyPlanet. Yes, the #3 story, traditionally the McCain attack spot, and regardless of the fact that McCain had nothing to do with it, and asked that it not be shown, it's still McCain's fault! Don't try to make sense out of it. It's OlbyLogic. Right-wing water carriers! [Ding!] Comedian Rachel Maddow tonight played a political analyst and dittoed all of Monkeymann's spin, but neither exactly pointed out what was inaccurate or "racist" in the ad. Comedian! [Ding!] Oralmann ridiculed McCain's emotions, making fun of "the catch in the voice" when McCain talked about it.
Stop the tivo! This is Worst Person material! Remember when John Gibson made fun of Jon Stewart for crying? Fat Ass had a cow:
no matter what kind of administration propagandist I think you are and how I'll mock you for it, I would never doubt the sincerity of your pain. You've got a lot of damn nerve doubting the sincerity of anybody else's. John Gibson of Fox Noise [Ding!], today's Worst Person in the World.
So if Gibby does it he has "a lot of damn nerve". But Olby would "never doubt the sincerity of your pain". Yet tonight he does exactly that. A lot of nerve indeed. Keith Olbermann: Worst Person--and Biggest Damn Hypocrite--in the World!
We couldn't bear to look at his duplicitous mug after that, but we did force ourselves to sit through the Media Matters Minute. John Ashcroft (Blue Blog Source: FireDogLake), and an obscure pastor, in which Oralmann disturbingly showed a far-too-intimate acquaintance with the names of gay porn actors. Of course worst: John McCain (Blue Blog Source: Carpetbagger Report), for something John Hagee, McCain's not-pastor, said. Um, wait, Obama's pastor is irrelevant, bringing him up is eeevil, as both Oralmann and Mandow said moments earlier, but a pastor who endorsed McCain makes McCain worst person? Don't try to make sense of it. It's OlbyLogic.
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 716th day since the declaration that "Karl Rove will in fact be indicted".