#1 Story: Keith "wives should not be attacked" Olbermann suggest that Senator McCain thinks Cindy McCain is a slut. Keith "I asked Porn Star Mary Carrie out on a date" Olbermann thinks that the Sturgis biker rally is full of sluts and whores. Keith then lies and says that unlike Obamanation's fabled Germany visit where "200,000" showed up to see Obamanation "only", people only saw McCain a Sturgis because they were waiting from dumb sluts. In fact before Obamanation's Berlin disaster, there was a free rock concert by a popular German band. Oh, and last time I checked, people in Germany can't vote for President of the United States but bikers at Sturgis can despite what Olbermann wishes.

Olby and his tire(d) rotation
Every night there's no deviation
Bash Fox, Bush, McCain...
Sophomoric, inane
Just like Obama's nomination

OK, So I watched the opening spiel, but got really irritated.

"John McCain says he LIKED the Paris ad. Doesn't he know it's making fun of him?" That's a paraphrase. Then I watched a little bit of the #1 story: "Doesn't McCain know Paris is MOCKING him?" He just got compared to Yoda!!! Who WOULDN'T want to be compared to Yoda!? I Dream of being compared to Yoda.

"Doesn't he realise they're calling him old?" McCain KNOWS he's old. He knows he has white hair. Newsflash: John McCain has a sense of humor! Oh, dear Lord!

Then Olbermann with Maria Milito get to talking about if Paris wrote it herself...."whatever."

I saw a better review of this advertisement on "Attack of the Show" on G4.

Personally, I thought the Paris Ad was awesome and hilarious. And Olbermann is still a D-bag.

#2: The Media Matters Minute. Worse was You-Know-Who. We'll get to that in a moment.
Worser was Brian Kilmeade. (Why does Keith hate soccer coaches?) Fixed News! [ding!] Enacting Republican Talking Points! How dare he criticize St. Ron Suskind! Blasphemy on OlbyPlanet. Dumb guy voice for Coach Brian. (Holding finger in the air): "Um..." (Reading paper): "June 17, 2004. Mr. Bush [ding!] told a news conference, quote, 'the reason I keep insisting that there was a relationship between Iraq and Saddam and al Qaeda...because there was a relationship between Iraq and al Qaeda.' (Looking up again): Brian, never defend the President, even on the stuff that sounds crazy to you. He in history (or is it 'and history?') will always make you look a dork."
Nikki Tinker. Who cares about that? Skiparoo.
Now, to O'Reilly Attack #502. "The bronze to Billo the Clown [ding!] who's now reduced to congratulating himself about this." Ted Baxter time again. Keith "Man on Fan" Olbermann reaches back to Monday for the second night in a row. This time, he reaches into the Reality Check segment. Sadly, no transcript or video available. Bill said "The Factor" audience is smarter than "The Colbert Report" audience and a poll proves it. Since we know not to trust Merkle, you know you can trust the poll BOR cited. ... Wait a minute. Keithy pushed fast-forward on his TiVo because he's suddenly quoting a line about being tired of "left-wing media outlets." This means that although it took me two nights to get to this point, my prediction that Fat Ass would attack our humble correspondent for that came true.
Olbermoronn's retort to Mr. Bill--as if he's paying attention--went like this: "First, the Pew Research Study was conducted in February of Two-thousand-and....zeven." I knew he'd be attacked for that aspect, too, because I agree (I feel dirty for agreeing) that the poll was a wee bit old. "But...(feigned surprise with a chuckle): gosh, Billy..." The sophomoric-and-never-junior-or-senior staff laughs on cue. "...you're crowing about this? Your audience is exactly 4% smarter than those watching a Cahhh-medy show? Uh, 'scuse me. (Lurch toward camera): *Another* comedy show?" Back to serious/is-that-Billo [ding]-for-real face and on to Worser and Worst.

Curious that Keith has no polling data on how current event savy his audience is? I guess the Daily Kos couldn't whip one up quick enough.

I think it's very appropriate that on my birthday i get to make my first comment!
My boss today remarked how the 'oh berrmann' show reminded him of a show that was written and researched by 7th graders.
Remember to inflate you tires! and Remember when Saddam Hussein told poor peasants who couldnt afford toothpaste that they should use their fingers to scrape your teeth :|
story#5- based on nbc news electoral map analysis. HAHAHA . Once mccain chooses romney, those areas wisc/iowa/minn. will LEAN republican. Hell the whole wisc./iowa/minnesotamichigan that NBC has leaning to obama, will start leaning the other way. I cant even believe i'm using an NBC news map based on faulty info, but whatever.
#4 is about the anthrax dude who commited suicide before he spent his remaining years in a federal prison :| Look i know its every citizens duty to question his or hers government, but when feds and scientists and coorperations all get together to create militarized anthrax to unleash on a very selective few americans, you gotta stop believing elvis is alive and stop searching for the man on the grassy knoll.
BUSH LEGACY.... Keith reads off some paper about how Bush recieved a memo in August of 2001, just before Sept 11 2001 attacks, about how Bin Laden had followers somewhere in america and that they wanted to target washington in some kind of world trade center like bombing.... Ya theres nothing like being handed a HOT FUCKING POTATO from CLINTON who PARTIED while BIN LADEN gathered numbers and weapons and "friends" Hey KIETH that NAP Bush took sure was the SHORTEST NAP KNOWN TO MANKIND, nothing like the NAP THAT RIP VAN CLINTON HAD!!! yawn....... this is too easy.
Does anyone else dry heave when seeing Rachel Maddow onscreen? or is it just me.
#3 Kieth is afraid that trying asswipes in Gitmo will lead to american soldiers who are captured, to be tryed in a similar way :| Idiots... no kieth they would rather be beheaded or john mccain'd.
#2 Kieth who has no power, makes fun of man with power (orielly)blah blah blah/ and I lost interest bout the last 2 except they threw in a black women who tryed to screw a jew :|
#1 Kieth claims PARIS HILTON has DEPTH........omg does he not know this ditz is reading off a card like himself???!! Kieth thinks these videos are actually real and IMPORTANT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS HIS NUMBER 1!!!!! I feel like this might be the stupidest human on tv, but it's like watching a impending train wreck!! (mccain beating obama).

What is Maria Double Shot of Milito Expresso on?

She's on Q104-3 (WAXQ-FM). But I knew what you meant. ;-)
In my recap, I meant to type "will always make you look *like* a dork."