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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith "Czechoslovakia" Olbermann
There were the usual repetitions of Oralmann's favorite lies (for the 89th time, Palin never said she sold the plane on eBay--Gawd, are you that insulated or do you simply not care if you ever spew the truth?). But the great moment tonight came from Edward R Olbermann named himself Worst Person in the World. What? How can that be, you ask? Read on and you will see.
Barry tank dweller Chris Kofinis claims the campaign is going to hit McCain and Palin "hard and fast". Wasn't Barry supposed the be the "Candidate of Change" who would elevate the campaign above the old politics of dissent and smears? And now Kofinis says Barry is about to go on the attack (or his lawyers are, anyway). More moonbat lies and hypocrisy. And did Olby just try to tie the Minnesota bridge collapse and Sarah Palin together in the same sentence? Unbelievable.
Mental heath expert obly claiming McCain suffering from "projection" about Gov. Palin and Lipstick comment by Barry. Olby claimed McCain was dealing from the bottom of the deck is his supposed attacks on Obama and that he was manufacturing outrage over the Palin remarks. The Wolffeman agreed that the remarks were "innocent" and McCain "lies" and "swiftboats" Obama. Obama isn't going to put up with McCain's "bullcrap" anymore.
#4 Obama taking off the gloves in regards to 527's. Disgraced Edwards minion Chris Kofinis calls McCain mean and says Obama good, McCain has no solutions. Kofinis went on to say that McCain's policies will make the country worse off. #3 Palin "scandals" Olby claimed Palin family members harrassed the unstable brother-in-law. Olby lies again about the jet and bridge to nowhere. Geno Robinson is brought in to once again agree with fat ass. Olby gives Biden debate advice!
#4 - Obama says enough is enough. Kofinis then says that "If Sarah hits, (they need) to hit back and hit back hard!" LOL, I think when Obama says 'enough is enough' he must actually be talking about how Sarah Palin and her popularity has gotten into his campaign's head. Number 3 was Olberass being concerned that the Palin family was in a custody fight, between Sarah's sister and her young-son-tazing husband, and that a judge didn't like all the negative things that were said by the parties. Oooooh, negative comments in a custody/divorce hearing. What a scoop! Part of this story was a side-track about the 'bridge to nowhere'. I'm sure it was the time constraints on the segment, but Olby forgot to mention that both Obama and Biden voted multiple times to *fund* the project -and- never opposed it.
#2: The Media Matters Minute. Worser was Felix Gillette the New York Observer. Yet again, I say: How dare they tell the truth about the chaos zone at (MS)NBC. (rapidly): "Not only does Andrea [Mitchell] say she never said that. She says she never said anything at that dinner, and Mr. Gillette and the New York Observer never contacted her or anybody at NBC News for a comment or a denial; one of the reasons Andrea Mitchell is 8,000 times the reporter *he* is." More PR/damage control by Attack Dog Olbermann.
Worst was Rick Goddard (retired Air Force Major General), a Republican running for Congress in Georgia's 8th District. Once again, Jane Fonda Olbermann went after a serviceman. His crime was referring to NBC's Ron Allen as a "very uppity newscaster." The "crime" occurred last week at the RNC when Ron interviewed Newt Gingrich on the convention floor. And Rip 'n Read is only talking about this now? Hmm. Wonder why. Seriously, it was dumb of him to do that, and Rev. Jesse Olbermahn played the race card. Out comes the accusatory paper. (gleeful sarcasm, rightward head tilt): "Great, General, but you *said* 'uppity'...which is traditionally followed...(flashing paper toward camera, grin turns to disgust): by the N-word!"
That brings us to O'Reilly Attack #509. Of course. Why not attack the guy who actually sat down with Obama one-on-one? Bathtub Boy stayed in his bubble and spoke via satellite. Billo the Clown! [ding!] Bill was "lying about the ratings again." Keith "Man on Fan" Olbermann trotted out the Ted Baxter voice and proved me right. Here's what I said yesterday at Johnny Dollar's Place:
BOR is going to refer to KO in tonight's Talking Points Memo. I predict this will make BOR a Worst Person tomorrow night.Bill ended up only referring to (MS)NBC, but was, as usual, quite critical of them. Here is the T-Points transcript and video.
Keithy pimped out the demo numbers for the DNC, looking down at a paper...again. "In what Fox calls the all-important advertising demographic, 25 to 54-year-old viewers, for the Democratic Convention, MSNBC beat Fixed News [ding!] in primetime an average of...917,000, 820,000...12%. Fox, last. 86 years in television, Bill, and you still don't understand the ratings?" Look who's lecturing whom about ratings.
And then, saved for the last Nielsen moment, tonight's Special Education Komment. See the appendix below for the full text, complete with our special annotations of the performance instructions to Oralmann, plus our exclusive OlbyRobot dramatic reading. But one glaring example of Olbypocrisy needs to be highlighted and pointed out, because it shows that no matter how vapid and empty a vessel you may think Krazy Keith is, he's really worse. Way down deep he's shallow. And a stone hypocrite.
Tonight he accused John McCain of putting on pretend, phony, nonexistent grief over the victims of 9/11. The mocking tone couldn't have been clearer:
Senator, as you and your Republicans shed your phony, crocodile, opportunistic tears tomorrow on 9/11 TM, in front of the utterly disingenuous banner "Country First"...
Hmm. Why does that sound familiar? Maybe because it sounds like something John Gibson once said--something that led Bathtub Boy to excoriate John Gibson as "worst person in the world"! To wit:
Gibby played a tape of comedian Jon Stewart's heartfelt anguish from September 20th... Gibson and his producer mocked it. He called it Jon Stewart sobbing. That idiot sidekick called Stewart a, quote, phony.... Jon Stewart's expression of pain after 9/11 and yours, Gibby, and mine, that was the unity. No matter what kind of administration propagandist I think you are and how I will mock you for it, I would never doubt the sincerity of your pain. You have a lot of damn nerve doubting the sincerity of anyone else's. John Gibson, today's Worst Person in the World.
Yeah, Herr Olbermann would never doubt the sincerity of someone else's pain over 9/11. Hey, Fat Ass! You have a lot of damn nerve doubting the sincerity of anyone's, including John McCain's. By your own words, you have just named yourself Worst Person in the World!
Keith's no longer the "breaking news guy"
David Gregory told Keith "bye-bye"
Gave him a pimp slap
Now Keith wears a dunce cap
And that's making the Kos Kids cry
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 858th day since the declaration that "Karl Rove will in fact be indicted". Great thanks to our OlbyWatch recappers who contributed!
APPENDIX: Tonight's Special Education Komment dramatic reading by the OlbyRobot [file now uploaded--enjoy!]:
APPENDIX: Tonight's Special Education Komment (annotated):
As promised, a Special Comment about our sad anniversary tomorrow.
Or, more correctly, what our sad anniversary tomorrow has been turned into by the presidential administration, and the current Republican candidates for President and Vice President.
This is supposed to be a day of remembrance. Remembrance of the attack, remembrance of the national unity which followed it.
Most important of all, remembrance of the dead.
But 9/11 has become a brand name. A Republican campaign slogan. Propaganda of the lowest form. 9/11 has become...
[insert sigh here]
...9/11 with a trademark logo.
9/11 (TM) has sustained a president who long ago should have been dismissed, or impeached. It has kept him and his gang of financial and constitutional crooks in office without -- literally -- any visible means of support.
[look down at imaginary notes]
9/11 (TM) has made possible the greatest sleight-of-hand in our nation's history.
The political party in office at the time of the attacks, at the local, state and national levels, the party which uniformly ignored the warnings and the presidential administration already through twenty percent of its first term and no longer wet behind the ears, have not only thus far escaped any blame for the malfeasance and criminal neglect that allowed the attacks to occur, but that presidency and that party, have managed to make it seem as if the other political party would be solely and irredeemably responsible for any similar catastrophe in the future.
[look down, camera pivot #1]
Thus, Sen. McCain, were you able to accomplish a further inversion of reality at your party's nominating convention last week.
There was the former Mayor of the City of New York, the one who took no counter-terrorism measure in his seven years in office between the first attack on the World Trade Center, and the second attack.
Nothing, except to insist, despite all advice and warning, that his Emergency Command Center be moved directly into the World Trade Center.
[ramp up the volume here]
Yet there was this man, Sir, Rudolph Giuliani, quite succinctly dismissed as "A Noun, a Verb, and 9/11," and repudiated even by Republican voters, transformed into the keynote speaker, Sen. McCain at your convention.
And his childish, squealing, braying, Tourette's-like repetition of 9/11 (TM), was greeted not as conclusive evidence that he is consumed by massive guilt - hard-earned guilt, in fact but rather as some kind of political tour-de-force, an endorsement of your Vice Presidential nominee, a rookie governor, a facile and slick con artist.
The blind endorsing the bland, to a chorus of 9/11 (TM), 9/11 (TM), 9/11 (TM.)
Your ringing mindless cheer of "We've Kept You Safe Since Then." While nobody asks "doesn't then count?"
All of this, sadistically disrespecting the dead of New York, and Washington, and Shanksville. Endorsed, Sen. McCain. Exploited, Sen. McCain. Trademarked, Sen. McCain by you.
[use the look of sadness as you glance downward, and don't forget camera pivot #2]
And yet of course the exact moment in which Sen. McCain's Republicans showed the nation exactly how far they have fallen from the Better Angels of Mr. Lincoln's Nature, came the next night.
The television networks were told that the Convention would pause, early in the evening, when children could still be watching, for a 9/11 Tribute, and they were encouraged to broadcast that tribute.
What we got was not a tribute to the dead of 9/11, nor even a tribute to the responders, or the singularity of purpose we all felt. The Republicans gave us sociological pornography, a virtual snuff film.
Years ago, responsible television networks, to the applause of this nation, and the relief of of its mental health authorities, voluntarily stopped showing the most graphic of the images of the World Trade Center, except with the strongest of warnings.
And yet, the Republicans, at their convention, having virtually seized control of the cable news operations, showed the worst of it.
This is all anyone with a conscience can show you of what the Republicans showed you. The actual collapse of the smoking towers.
A fleeting image of what might have been a victim leaping to his death from a thousand feet up. And something new. From this angle, ground-level, perfectly framed images, of the fireball created when the second plane hit the second tower.
It was terrifying.
[raise the eyebrows; they're big so that always gets attention]
After all its object was to terrify. Not to commemorate, not to call for unity, not to remember the dead. But to terrify.
To open again the horrible wounds, to brand the skin of this nation with the message -- as hateful as the terrorists' own, that you must vote Republican or this will happen again and you will die.
And just in case that was not enough, to also dishonestly and profanely conflate 9/11 with the 1979 Iran Hostage Crisis...
[use the voice of incredulity here]
...to stoke the flames of paranoia about another Middle Eastern Nation.
This was a 9/11 Tribute. Not to the dead, nor to the unity. But a tribute to how valuable 9/11 has been as a political tool for the Republican Party. 9/11... (TM.)
[pause, camera pivot #3]
Sen. McCain, you had promised us a clean campaign. You could be Snow-White the rest of the way, Sir, yet that manipulative videotape from your convention should tar you always in the minds of decent Americans.
And still, as this seventh 9/11 (TM) approaches that, Sir, is not the worst of your contributions to the utter politicizing of a day that should be sacrosanct to all of us.
[again, look down at pretend notes; gotta firm up that Edward R Murrow image]
Hard to believe, but the Senator has done worse with 9/11 and the evil behind it.
We heard it last week in Minnesota, we've heard it off and on since January but Senator McCain said it most concisely in June.
"Look," he said. "I know the area, I've been there, I know wars, I know how to win wars, and I know how to improve our capabilities so that we will capture Osama bin Laden -- or put it this way, bring him to justice. We will do it. I know how to do it."
Sen. McCain seems to be quite serious, that he and he alone, not the CIA, nor the U.S. Military, nor the current President can capture bin Laden.
Thus we must take him at his word, that this is no mere ludicrous campaign boast.
We must assume Sen. McCain truly believes he is capable of doing this, and has been capable of doing this, since last January. "We will capture Osama bin Laden... we will do it. I know how to do it."
[OK, this is the first screaming moment; make sure you shake you head as you bellow into the camera--and remember this is camera pivot #4]
Well then, Senator, you'd better go and do it hadn't you?
Because, Sir, if a man or woman in this nation, Democrat or Republican, had a clear and effective means of capturing or killing Osama bin Laden...
If that person had been advertising his claim, Senator for eight months.
But if that person not only refused to go to responsible authorities in government and advise them of this plan to catch bin Laden, but further announced he would not even begin to enact this secret plan to corral the world's most hated man until the end of next January.
[wave your papers around here as you ramp up the decibels]
What would be your description of such an individual, Senator? Charlatan? Do-nothing? Opportunist? Sen. McCain, if you have, if you have had a means of capturing Osama bin Laden, and you do not immediately inform some responsible authority of the full scope of that plan, you are to some degree great or small aiding and abetting Osama bin Laden.
If you could assist in capturing him now, Sen. McCain, but you have chosen not to you, Sir, have helped Osama bin Laden stay free.
[keep building here; use the irate head shake, and a bit of spittle wouldn't hurt either]
Free to inspire and supervise the terrorists. Free to plan or execute attacks here.
[scream; turn it up to 11]
You, Sir, are blackmailing some portion of the American electorate into voting for your party, by promising to help in the capture of bin Laden only if you are made president!
[ok back off a bit; look down, and use the voice of disgust]
I'd rather win an election than catch bin Laden! No more cynical calculation has ever been made in this nation's history, Sir. If you lose the election, Senator, are you not going to tell the President-Elect?
Are you intending to keep this a secret until the next election and your party's next nominee?
[now crank it up again; this is the personal attack/name calling portion and we have to sell it to the Kossacks]
Senator, as you and your Republicans shed your phony, crocodile, opportunistic tears tomorrow on 9/11 TM, in front of the utterly disingenuous banner "Country First," the fact is, you have shown that it is John McCain first, and the country last.
The fact is, Sir, by holding out on your secret plan to catch bin Laden by searing those images into our collective wounded American psyche at your nomination last week, terrorists are not what you, John McCain, fight. Terrorists are what you, John McCain, use.
[look down and to the left; use the voice of loathing]
Good night and good luck.