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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith "Czechoslovakia" Olbermann
Another Hour of Spin for the record books. Edward R Olbermoronn really had to stretch tonight to launch his smears. Joan Rivers and Nancy Pelosi have never seen such stretching.
Oralmann used both Howie and Rahm Emanuel as his expert witnesses in political finagling and financial market economics. Howie of course told Merkle what he wanted him to hear. Why not? He's the closest thing to a weathervane in punditry.
Emanuel on the other hand was there to promote the lie that this deal was all set to go until John McCain ruined in. (The truth: the deal was opposed by House Republicans, who were not part of the negotiations.) And of course Rahmmy's great understanding of these matters was essential on OlbyPlanet. You will recall that Rahmmy was on the Board of Directors of Fannie Mae, and raked in his share of the cash (not counting over $50,000 in poitical contributions)--just another Obama team player up to his neck in Fannie/Freddie finances. Oddly enough, Monkeymann never once mentioned that. You'd think it would have some relevancy, no? It might to a journalist, on a newscast. In the case at hand, we are dealing with neither.
Olby is blaming the economic mess on McCain (shocker!). The John McCain Build-a-Crisis Workshop, he calls it. Olbyparrot Chris Hayes is along for the ride. I thought I was ill before, now I feel even worse after hearing Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Hayes just said that McCain's gamble played on the "stupidity of the American people." Stay classy, Hayes. 'Nuff said from these two bozos.
Hayes said that McCain's behavior is ad hoc and impulsive, which mirrors earlier spin from Kirsten Powers on Fox that McCain's behavior is "erratic" and unstable. That is the new Obama campaign meme - McCain is unstable and erratic because he made a snap judgment to lead instead of being an Obamasheep. "Call me if you need me" Barry has a few new orafices after W shamed him back to Washington to get his butt back to work. Barry thinks his job is running for office, not being a junior senator.
We predicted that Edward R Olbermahn wouldn't want to do a segment on the polls tonight that show McCain taking a small lead--you know like the segment he did yesterday that lied about what the poll numbers were and what they meant. Does it surprise anyone that we were--again--correct? Krazy Keith is as predictable as Pavlov's dog in a bell-testing factory.
But every now and then he surprises us. Like he did tonight, calling McCain a liar and using as his source: David Letterman! Based on one of Dave's jokes, Fat Ass insisted that the McCain campaign is doomed because he "lied" to Dave about leaving town. As if that weren't enough of a stretch, Legs took it a step further: Letterman was shocked--shocked!--to learn that McCain would still be in town the next morning to speak at the Clinton Global Initiative.
Sheesh. How stupid does KO think his viewers are? Wait...don't answer that. Instead, recall that in his nationally televised statement on Wednesday McCain announced to the world that he wasn't leaving for DC until he spoke at the Clinton event on Thursday morning. What, we're supposed to forget that, even though it aired dozens of times on Oralmann's own channel, A-Mess-NBC? Not only is this an incredible stretch from Krazy Legs, it's also a stupid, careless, lazy, lame stretch.
MikeC & J$:
Tonight, once again, the blue blogs reporteth, Keith "Rip 'n Read" Olbermann taketh away and useth in the Media Matters Minute, claiming as thine own.
Worse was Neil Cavuto. Fixed News! [Ding!] "Also to receive a citation for Worst Timing in the World" (Blue Blog Source: Newsliars). Oralmann tried a rapid pseudo-impression of Neil. Now here's Monday's Cavuto commentary in context. In a nutshell: Cavuto thought the Congress should be able to multitask. But on OlbyPlanet, Olbermahn, with interlaced hands, asks his credulous lemmings: "Do you want to tell Neil about John McCain saying he can't campaign and, at the same time, be one of the 100 Senators addressing the fiscal crisis? Or should I?"
This is more s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g, and also about a 120 on the lame-o-meter. For one thing, there's no punchline. He doesn't compare that to Cavuto saying something inconsistent, or opposite. Keithy puts it out, and it just lays there. And dies there. Plus, if Oralmann is making the point that it's somehow inconsistent with something McCain says, well... So? What's the point? Or is the point that if someone on Fixed News [Ding!] says something pro-Republican, that's fodder for ridicule...but if they say something contrary to some Republican, that's fodder for ridicule too? Really, can you get any more pointless and lame? --J$
Worser was two random things about sausages and hot dogs. Pass.
Worst was "The bottomless pit that is Steve Doocy of Fox Noise [Ding!]" (Blue Blog Source: Raw Story. Herr Olbermann did not name Mike Papantonio, limiting him to random "guest" status, nor what exactly happened. Why let facts get in the way of a good attack? After mini-impressions of Doocy, Edward R. Olbermoronn, again with the interlaced hands, began a long-winded snarky diatribe. "Look, we all know what Fox News is. We all know what 'Fox and Friends' is. You get three not very bright people,...yada yada yada. So, Doofy (yes, he said it like that) isn't on here 'cause he tried to shout down all mention of the Keating Five. That's his job. It's because of what he said as the guest got in one last reference to McKean...McCain's Keating Five scandal. Quote [Ding!]..." In a lispy schoolmarm voice that sounded nothing like Steve, Fat Ass blurted "This is not the History Channel!" Now, come the outward hands: "So, stuff from 1991 is too old, too remote, as the lawyers say? Meaning you guys think..." The hands get stretch out: "...John McCain's P.O.W. experience from the '60s should only be covered by the History Channel?" Now, the "naughty naughty" finger point: "See, 'cause if you're gonna discount what he went through in Vietnam, Steve...I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to (points finger rightward) step outside." Then, the closing boom: "Steve 'Nothing before 1992 counts' Doocy! Today's...Worst..." You know the rest.
Note that even the Raw Story piece acknowledged that the guy was being rude. He was, simply, filibustering, talking over everyone else, and trying to hijack the segment. Of course "Man on Fan" Olbermann's hate doesn't permit him to tell his viewers that. And true to form, he embellished it was another Olby lie: it's the job of Fox to shut down any mention of The Keating Five. Yeah, that's why they devoted more time to that scandal than any other aspect of McCain's life when they did their bio special on him. Again, for Oralmann to think people are this dumb really shows just how clueless and lame he really is. --J$
Another bat over Kountdown's moon
Margaret Carlson is like a cartoon
A knit cap and she'd vie
For Meg on Family Guy
Like putting lipstick on a buffoon
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 873rd day since the declaration that "Karl Rove will in fact be indicted". Great thanks to our OlbyWatch recappers who did such an assiduously good job tonight with a thoroughly thankless task!