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What (R)s Will Oralmann Attack Tonight? We Name Names!!
In case you're wondering why the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann is on a steep trajectory to irrelevance, you have only to consider the Big Stories he will break on tonight's Hour of Spin. Examples:
The nightly Christine O'Donnell (R) attack: she said she attended a program at Oxford, but that's not an Oxford degree. But did she ever say that it was? Oh never mind, let's bring in a hack from Talking Points Memo to amplify the smear.
The obligatory Paladino (R) attack, complicated by the involvement of a News Corp journalist. What's an Olby to do?
Bonus attack: Meg Whitman (R), for lying, Lying, LYING!!! I tell you, about something or other.
Extra bonus attack: the tea party. They're violent. They're going to strangle you in your bed. They're coming! Keep watching the skies!!
And...it's Ezra Klein Whine Time.
Friday's Hour of Spin, the Keith "Man on Fan" Checklist:
More attacks on (R) candidates. Paladino? Check! Whitman? Check!
Left-wing puppetry? Geno Robinson? Check! White House spin? How about the deputy director of Obama's campaign? Check!
Rahm leaves, need a clueless parrot to 'analyze'. How about The Wolffe Man? Check!
Attack Christians? Check!
If Fox donates to the Chamber of Commerce, how to make that a smear? Call the Chamber a bunch of right-wing extremists? Check!
Cackle and do a juvenile dance on the grave of Rick Sanchez's career? Check!
Bore everyone over the age of 11 with an endleth reading of Thurber thlop? Check!
What Is The Event? It Ain't Olby, That's Fer Sure!
Oralmann getting canned and banned for life (a la ESPN) from (MS)NBC...that would be The Event worth seeing. But just another week of The Hour of Spin? Meh. Just as confusing, and even more boring, than that other 'Event'. Case in point, Monday's must-miss rundown:
The GOP Pledge...What? Olby's just getting around to it now? Is that how long it took for the blue blogs to give him enough material? Hey, since he's only been on dozens of times this year, let's untie Ezra Klein and prop him up before the camera again. And to make sure we have the ultimate in toadyism: Howard Not-So-Fineman, and a lefty partisan hack from Demos.
The nightly Christine O'Donnell attack. Not to be confused with Lawrence, who will no doubt be repeatedly plugged throughout the Hour of Excruciating Propaganda. Watch for a Soros-connection partisan hack on this one.
Nightly get-your-licks-in-on-Fox with a Chris Wallace attack.
Hard to believe, but something even more boring than Thurber. Ken Burns plugging some interminable baseball project. Who's that supposed to appeal to? Kids who read Harry Potter and collect baseball cards? Oh, wait. Yeah, that explains it.
Tuesday's Hour of Spin:
Attack on Sen DeMint (R) by a George Soros hack. And Olby of course.
Watch Edward R Olbermann slobber all over himself because the White House praised him and Maddow. Most journalists want to speak truth to power; Olbermann wants power to speak treacly love notes to him. David Corn Flakes too.
Oralmann goes after the eeevil Koch brothers, because they are going to burn up the planet into a cinder. Or something.
The nightly Christine O'Donnell attack is tonight a Sharron Angle attack. Or maybe he'll smear both of them. Anything is possible on OlbyPlanet.
Why do we even bother previewing what will appear on The Hour of Spin? While the eeevil Bill O'Reilly will be going mano-a-mano with Jon Stewart, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann will be hitting the same talking points, yammering with the same like-minded parrots, and insulting the same targets: anyone to the right of Bill Maher. So, keeping in mind this is just more same-old same-old, here's what to expect tonight:
Small business is evil. Why? Maybe lefty Ezra Klein can explain it. Regardless of what he says, Oralmann will be nodding in agreement like a unidirectional bobble head. Because that's the rule on OlbyPlanet.
Another opportunity to harp on gays in the military. We need more of em! As many as we can get!! God knows Olby himself isnt doing that well with the opposite sex. Dan Savage will prattle.
A combo attack, killing two birds with one stone: Sharron Angle and Fox News, they're both eeevil. You want proof? Olbermann will present his impartial expert from Hillary Clinton's Media Matters.
Despite attacks on McCain (R) and Angle (R), that's not enough for Monkeymann, so he'll go after Sen Chambliss (R) too. A trifecta of traducement (your word of the day). Toss in some sort of smear of Liz Cheney and you're all up-to-date.
For this people should miss the epic O'Reilly/Stewart showdown? Let alone NCIS? (Oh wait, NCIS was yesterday. Well watching it again would be preferable.) Comments are open!
Tuesday's Hour of Spin:
Oh the sorrows, the Dems postponed their tax-cut vote. Noward Not-So-Fineman will comfort Keithy, while the winner of the Rachel Maddow Look-Alike Contest (Chris Hayes) will pile on.
More attacks on small businesses for being too successful. To make a rather large point, the rather large Michael Moore.
The evils of buying, or selling, gold, with lots of Beck smears from the Weiner. (Go to weinerfacts.com for a good time.)
The usual (R) victims in the WPitW segment (aka the Media Matters Minute).
You know when the orders come down from the White House to jump, Keith Olbermann's response is 'how high?' And when it's time to ramp up attacks so partisan and one-sided that they put Radio North Korea to shame, Oralmann shifts into high gear. That's what you can expect to see on tonight's Hour of Spin.
Here's what to watch for:
Attack on O'Donnell: Not only is she a witch, she's a thief too! Watch for some infamous, deplorable song stylings (we are not making this up).
Attack on O'Donnell Part Deux: Mice with human brains? Let's go to the tape. (Note: for background on this story, read what Oralmann won't tell you.)
Take Tea and See how badly "Bear" and his new man-crush Weigel can smear.
Switching into ObamaVision, slobbering over the newsless 'town hall' and its pre-selected audience, with that savant of American politics who isn't even from America, The Wolffe Man.
Hat-tip to Maddow with some noodling about Don't Ask Don't Tell (that's the armed forces policy, not the rules given to Countdown bookers regarding conservatives).
WPitW will attack Jan Brewer (R) and America's Mayor (R). Continuing a long tradition of slovenly partisan hackery in the Media Matters Minute.
Oh, and don't be shocked if this video appears, or at least some of it. It may not. Call it a hunch:
Tuesday's Hour of Spin:
Republicans hate the troops! (It's a eulogy for the failed attempt to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell via the defense authorization, and it wasn't only Republicans who blocked it, but don't confuse "Bear" with facts). Watch for some ex-military type and David Corn Flakes.
Get rid of those 'tax cuts for the rich'! Who better to parrot OlbySpin than Howard Not-So-Fineman, now out of the closet as a writer for the Huff 'n' Puff Post?
The obligatory, nightly Christine O'Donnell attack: she's a criminal! Could 'American Prospect' possibly be another far-left, Soros-type organization? You'd think so, because Oralmann invited them for this segment.
The eeevil insurance companies want your children to get sick and die!
How about a book plug? As if Keith's tome is going to do anywhere near as well as O'Reilly's, but he'll keep priming the pump anyhow.
Before we all settle down for another evening on OlbyPlanet (thankfully without the inane ramblings of Thurber), let's take a moment to gaze in admiration at the keen intellect of Edward R Olbermann. But how to gauge something so wondrous and beyond the comprehension of mere mortals? We'll just have to use Olby's own test, the one he uses to rate the intellect of others. As you may recall, the infamous, deplorable one got into a twitter fight (that even sounds girly!) and immediately turned to his Ultimate Weapon, correcting grammar and spelling:
SHRIKE: @KeithOlbermann The left is idrological kindergarten. That's why you guys believe in Santa.
TWITTERMANN: Ah yes. It's always "idrological"
SHRIKE: As I said: kindergarten. If the best you guys have is typo flames, it's no wonder @KeithOlbermann is in decline.
TWITTERMANN: 2,000,000 a night. How many you got?
BELLAMOM: I love you Keith but picking on spelling errors is beneath you - there r other aspects of that comment u could play off
TWITTERMANN: but they're representative of the level of intellect. This isn't speaking, you do get to review all 140 chars. before hitting send
Got that? OK, so now it's your turn to measure the Olby intellect by his own standards. This is from just yesterday:
TWITTERMANN: You should get a grown's up hat before throwing around "failed"
Huh? What's that? A hat belonging to a Mr Grown? Wrong! It's proof of Oralmann's level of intellect. After all this isn't speaking, you do get to review all 140 chars. before hitting send!
On tonight's Hour of Spin:
New O'Donnell talking point: her win is no big deal because look at all those registered Republicans who didn't vote. The discredited Dave Weigel and (D) hack Chris Kofinis will aid and abet Monkeymann's spin.
Rove and Palin disagree, so that means Democrats will win in November!
Those tax cuts everyone's debating? They're not Bush's, they're Obama's! Lefty Ezra Klein will play Pinocchio.
Tea Party will fail, sez Arshad Hasan (who?!?) from Democracy for America, a nonpartisan outfit that was kick-started with a quarter-mil from George Soros.
Why was the Koran burner fired? Theory: "Bear" will take a counter-intuitive position on this, to show his 'independence' and 'intellect'. Intellect? Oh wait, maybe that isn't the right word.
And Thursday's Hour of Spin:
Obama wants to plug his 'immigration reform', and Oralmann leaps to coordinate with the administration. One Rep (D) and a La Raza type will reinforce the propaganda.
Nightly attack on Christine O'Donnell, this time with Howard Not-So-Fineman Olby's accessory after the fact.
Monkeymann has been neglecting Rand Paul, but watching his poll numbers. So it's time to serve as the DNC's slovenly political hack once again.
Olby will actually make fun of someone else's research (i.e. Limbaugh, for using Wikipedia). Perhaps he will lecture Rush on why he should only rip 'n' read from Media Matters and think Propaganda.
Oh, and he of the Great Intellect can't resist an attack on Glenn Beck, so watch for one of those too.
It's not even worth a new post for the sewage Herr Olbermahn plays to vomit tonight. So here's the lowdown on Friday's Hour of Spin:
Tonight's attack on Christine O'Donnell (obligatory).
That will morph into a wholesale attack on tea party, Michele Bachmann et al, with accomplices Ken Vogel of Politico, and...and who? Oh wait, it's been all of two days since Discredted Dave (Weigel) has been visited OlbyPlanet. Let's recycle him!
Attack Huckabee for saying he made a comparison when he actually made an analogy. (Classic OlbyTrick.) Lefty David Corn will be happy to play Howdy to Keith's Doody.
The most interminable 10 minutes in all of television, it's Olby doing his dramatic readings of Thurber. Truly mutht-miss.
Oh, and lest we forget, the nightly attack on Fox (their punishment for crushing Olby every night in the ratings). In case you haven't heard it before, Fox News is...all together now...RAAAAACIST!
It must be galling to the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann that his hated nemesis, the Fox News Channel, actually attracts more Democrat viewers than either CNN or MSNBC. That's the kind of fun fact that just inflames Oralmann's insistence on inflicting another week of hate, venom, and aggravated misinformation on the American public. Fortunately most of them won't sit through it, but in case you will, this is the place to discuss the Orange Man and his nightly assaults on journalism.
What can we expect tonight? Well, Edward R Olbermann has another 'fair and balanced' line-up of topics and guests, as you might well imagine. Some highlights:
Attack on John Boehner (coordinated with White House of course)
New talking point: the deficit is down (yeah, the 2nd highest ever after last year's 1st highest ever)
Fair and balanced economic analysis from Robert Reiccccchhhh and David Plouffe (aka Obama's campaign manager...hey we told you this stuff is coordinated)
Attack on Newt Gingrich, with race-baiter Geno Robinson
Attack on Christine O'Donnell, who just moved ahead of Castle in the polls (thereby explaining tonight's attack)
Shocking new news that is just shocking: there was a mosque in the World Trade Center before it was hit...and the point of that is, what? Don't try to make sense out of it, it's OlbyLogic!
Tuesday's Hour of Spin:
An impartial look at the tax cut debate with a House Democrat
A Democrat pollster with an impartial look at the tax cut debate
Breaking OlbyPlanet Talking Point: The GOP is racist!
More Christine O'Donnell attacks with lefty Chris Hayes and Howard Not-So-Fineman
Another House Democrat! (The next chart is going to be a doozy!)
Attack on Fox Business because an opinion show offers opinion (lifted from a familiar blue blog source: Think Propaganda)
At least we had an Olby-free Labor Day. But the infamous, deplorable one is back tonight, and with an Hour of Spin that will go down in history as...just like every other Hour of Spin. What you can expect tonight:
Hyperventilating over burning the Koran (Or: Why burning a flag is protected free speech, but burning a Koran is a scandal?)
The Gallup Poll is now tied! Now Olby can stop ignoring it, until it shows the GOP ahead again, when it will vanish from OlbyPlanet.
Rahm's rumored removal from the House of Obama.
A HuffPo hack will harangue about the tea party.
Slanders against Arizona's governor, who will still be Arizona's governor this time next year.
The obligatory attack on Fox/Murdoch/Whatever for the crime of distributing...a video game? No, you're kidding, right? An Olby attack over a video game?!?!?
It's your nightly must-miss tv. Comments are open!
Our monthly analysis of Edward R Olbermann's fair and balanced guest line-up once again shows what an outstanding, nonpartisan 'news hour' they produce on OlbyPlanet. Behold, The Chart:
This month's fun facts:
The most appearances under the liberal/progressive label: Eugene Robinson, followed closely by Melissa Harris-Lacewell.
Most appearances under the conservative/traditional label: nobody.
Top Dem politicos (each appearing twice): Reps Grijalva and Ellison.
Top GOP politicos: there weren't any.
Most used 'neutral' commentator: Howard Fineman.
So welcome to Olbermann's Echo Chamber, where the only debate is left vs lefter. Perhaps that's why his ratings are so good. He pooh-poohed July's numbers based on the fact that he took so many days off. So what happened in August? While a few A-Mess-NBC programs showed a little growth, Herr Olbermahn's was not one of them. Just like his pal Rachel Maddow, Keith Oralmann lost 25% of his viewers in the critical, coveted, nothing-else-matters 'key demo'. And since they were both losing handily to the eeevil Fox News, they're still losing handily to the eeevil Fox News.
There is no joy on OlbyPlanet. Mighty Olby has struck out. Comments are open!