The universe appears to have conspired to rob the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann of his last shred of relevance. His girl friend dumped him (once she acquired a cushy job working for the same company as Herr Olbermahn). Then his company dumped him, tossing him out on his ear, as has happened so frequently in what we laughingly call his 'career'.

Now Keith Olbermann, we understand, does a nightly tv show on a little-seen cable channel. A channel so unimportant that if you have cable tv, there's a 50% chance you don't get the Olby Channel. He rails nightly against the usual names from his 'enemies' list, and actually believes there are throngs watching and hanging on his every word. But Current has stopped even giving out weekly ratings, adopting a curious silence about what many are convinced is the continued erosion of Oralmann's already-miniscule audience.

Indeed, things on OlbyPlanet have become so irrelevant that it's a challenge to come up with something to post about. Outside of a few gullible cranks that hang out at his disreputable blog, nobody cares any more what he says. He's not getting noticed by the websites who watch cable news...maybe because he isn't on a cable news channel. John Gibson can't be bothered with Keith any more. KO is totally off the grid. Olbermann isn't even a has-been. He's a has-was.

You just can't get more utterly irrelevant than Keith Olbermann. So we have trouble coming up with things to post about him. The best we can do for now is to trump up a post about how utterly inconsequential Olby has become. He's the national yawn. On his best days, he aspires to be peripheral. And that's the name of that tune.

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The infamous, deplorable one will not be making an appearance tonight. Instead, Bathman's sidekick Robin will be running The Hour of Spin. So to assuage your disappointment, please enjoy the following. It's the next best thing to much better than the real Oralmann:

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If you've been following Edward R Olbermann's commentaries on the debt ceiling, you know that he's been pushing the notion that the President isn't bound by his oath to the Constitution. Just raise the debt ceiling on your own, sez Olby. Never mind that the Constitution gives the power of the purse to the Congress, not the Executive branch:

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In a rare burst of transparency, the suits at Current have generously given us ratings for the second week of Countdown...not night by night, mind you, but simply the average numbers for week two. You will recall how Olby trumpeted his 'key demo' (25-54) ratings for the first week, an astonishing, jaw-dropping 133,000 viewers. Of course what Oralmann didn't mention is that, compared with all the other programs on genuine cable news channels, that puts him in about 40th place.

Those lackluster numbers tumbled further in the second week of Countdown on Current. Rather than building an audience, Edward R Olbermann appears to be driving them off, as week two found his 133K viewers dwindling to 93,000. In the all-important, nothing-else-matters, ultra-significant 'money demo' (to quote Olby). And plugging that number into the chart finds the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann now plummeting to 48th place, behind even such dayside MSNBC failures as D-Rat and the Daily Rundown.

Funny thing, Herr Olbermahn didn't crank out any self-congratulatory tweets about these new numbers. What an odd oversight. Of course, while tweeting a suspicious claim about his premiere night numbers being higher than originally reported, he did toss out this bit of bushwa to cover his backside:

• TWITTERMAN: Caveat: #s will bounce all over the damn place for months

Yeah, well right now they're only bouncing in one direction: DOWN!

On tonight's Hour of Spin, Merkle will show his great independence and serious journalist cred by completely ignoring the story that has the country transfixed: the Anthony verdict. Instead, he'll focus on attacking Republicans (Rick Santorum will be a key victim), which is of course the mission statement of Countdown.

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