"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
2008 ELECTION: Howard Fineman, Newsweek senior Washington correspondent and MSNBC political analyst
BILL MOYERS ON DEMOCRACY AND THE MEDIA: Bill Moyers, PBS host and author of Moyers on Democracy
SNL GOES AFTER HILLARY: Dana Milbank, Washington Post
The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann is back. He's the master of multi-tasking: he can spout OlbySpin and lies to the camera while simultaneously blogging on DailyKos and surfing ebay for that must-have bubblegum card. Tonight, as always, he bellowed the opening spiel: Obama leads in super delegates! West Virginia! Joe Lieberthal! McCain's free ride! The Great Bill Moyers! SNL ridicules Hillary! And the biggest shocker of the night: the ancient O'Reilly video!! It's blue Monday at Olbermann Watch--where we spare you the annoyance of having to watch The Hour of Spin in the miracle of ObamaVision!
#5: Hillary doesn't realize it's over! Her win in West Virginia will be meaningless because Obama isn't campaigning there. (So meaningless that MSDNC is planning some seven hour of coverage!) Plug for Daily Kos! [Ding!] Obama's moving to a general election strategy. The Pundit for All Occasions dared to say the Obama campaign shouldn't be writing off states like WV and KY and then really crossed a line by pointing out Obama's lapel pin. "I can't believe we're actually noting these things", grumbled Oralmann. Howie was not Great Thanksed. Secret talks between the campaigns? John Harwood yammered.
After another plug for the Great O'Reilly Video (hereafter APftGOV) came #4: Joe Lieberthal, "turncoat". Scurrilous! Divisive! Lieberthal's accurate statement about Hamas and Obama dismissed by Krazy Keith as a "rumor"! Why? Because the reporter who broke the story is a "right-wing neocon"! [Ding!] It matters not that statement of the Hamas spokesman was caught on tape. Oh wait, maybe it does matter, because Fat Ass never mentioned that. He just attacked some reporter, a neat diversion to hide another classic piece of OlbySpin. Lieberthal is McCain's "hatchet man"! Lefty Jonathan Alter agreed: "hatchet man!"
After whining about "mercenaries" in Iraq, defending Iran by saying they're "making up" any involvement in Iraq, and APftGOV, #3: McCain camp claims media biased for Obama. "Madness!" cried Oralmann. Prelude to the blue-dress interview with "media giant" Bill Moyers. Prepare for another series of softball questions so leading that Fat Ass should have been holding a leash:
Is the McCain camp setting a base line? Are they working the refs before the game starts?
If there is media bias, is it about being for or against people, or about ways of seeing the world?
Certain bursts from here show that we can break through once in a while, but how does it apply to each of the candidates?
Do you see a way to break through when one of the candidates got behind a gas tax but the voters seemed to agree that she was pandering?
Obama's strategy with Wright was all your plan, right?
Following APftGOV and yet APftGOV finally came #2: the stolen O'Reilly video. Keith, who has made others "worst persons" for making Hitler comparisons (not counting his own Sieg Heil salute), chuckled as he described one version that intercut O'Reilly with shots of Adolf. Classy. Nice. #1: SNL review with Dana Milbank.
In the Media Matters Minute, the victims were Wal-Mart, Doug Goodyear of the McCain campaign, and--Olbsession Night on OlbyPlanet--O'Reilly again. His crime was that he criticized a paper for refusing to cooperate with the FBI. It turns out the people the FBI were looking for were innocent, and that proves that O'Reilly was "paranoid" for criticizing the paper.
Now aside from how Bear is suggesting that it's wrong to cooperate with the FBI, and how it's better for them to spend months looking for people instead of getting help from citizens (does Bathtub Boy even pretend to be an American any more?)... Aside from all that, here's how OlbyLogic works. If someone refuses to open their bag for an airport screener, but eventually does and it's empty, does that make the screener "paranoid"? Does it even make the screener wrong to want to see in the bag? That's what OlbyLogic would have you believe, but--hey!--it's good enough to feed Oralmann's diseased Olbsession with a competitor he will never equal, let alone surpass.
Dogs That Did Not Bark: We've heard repeatedly from Fat Ass about how the eeevil Bush administration has "broken" the Armed Forces. Things are so bad that they'll never get anyone to join! The military announced their April recruiting and retention numbers, and to no one's surprise, Herr Olbermahn spiked the story. And then there's this. Oralmann jumps on McCain for every slip, big or small. He's "delusional". He should be wearing "Depends". He's a "liar". Of course, that goes not just for McCain but for anyone to the right of Che Guevera. Remember the time Michael Chertoff goofed and said "Louisiana is a city" largely underwater? Oralmann cackled with glee over that one. It was the occasion for one of his first long-winded blowhardy Special Education Komments. Monkeymann never let go of it, still citing it two years later! But there are some whose mistakes don't get mentioned on OlbyPlanet. Some whose blunders get filtered out by the special lenses of ObamaVision so that they never pollute the purity of the propaganda. Mistakes that he can't just blame on his staff. Like: 57 states? 57 freakin' states? Fear not, Barack. Bear will protect you with his cone of silence.
Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 735th day since the declaration that "Karl Rove will in fact be indicted".
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M.)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
2008 ELECTION: Jonathan Alter, Newsweek columnist and NBC News political analyst; Harry Reid, Senate majority leader and author of "The Good Fight"; Rachel Maddow, Err America Radio host and MSNBC political analyst; Mort Sahl, comedian
MARY TILLMAN SPEAKS OUT: Mary Tillman, author of "Boots on the Ground by Dusk: My Tribute to Pat Tillman"
The last opening spiel of the week, bellowed by the infamous, deplorable one in his best carnival-barker fashion: Obama on the verge but Hillary refuses to quit! McCain and Hagee! [Ding!] Pat Tillman! Satirist Mort Sahl! It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Clinton low on money while Bill Jefferson plays "bad cop". Edward R Olbermann reveals that, impartial newsman that he is, he was "for" Hillary at first. Who's he for now? Man, that's a puzzler, ain't it? Edwards says Obama is a uniter. Hillary is being Nixonian! [Ding!] What she's doing is almost "bribery"! Keith pimped out Alter who said yeah her "code language" is Nixonian! [Ding!] Lefty quoted Hillary as saying "she is the candidate of white Americans", which is such a caricature of her words that it's almost a lie. But lying is fine on OlbyPlanet so he was Great Thanksed.
Next the blue-dress interview with Harry Reid. Yes it's hard to believe, it's stunning, it's an astonishing indictment of the partisan political hackery that is The Hour of Spin. We're talking about The List. Gaze upon it and be amazed. Meanwhile, that crusading journalist Keith Oralmann pummeled Reid with the tough questions that only years in the bathtub could have prepared him for. Prepare for questions so leading that Krazy Keith should have been waving a baton:
Do you think the primary process is in its final stretch? Do you have to do something to make sure it is in its final stretch soon?
Wasn't it a no-win for Hillary to raise the issue of her support from white voters?
Wouldn't it make more sense to wait for the next administration before acting on FISA legislation?
Isn't it clear that the threat that exists was exaggeration, drawn up into dimensions of "total disproportionateness"?
What did the President say to you on the 9/11 anniversary and what does it say to you?
Oh dear.
Is there anything Lieberman could do that could make you take away his Homeland Security chairmanship?
Isn't Countdown the best show on tv? Don't you hate Bill O'Reilly? Isn't it true I'm the smartest interviewer you've ever met?
OK, that last line was made up. But it's no less leading than what came before. For agreeing to just about every leading question Reid was Great Thanksed.
After a Hagee [Ding!] came #4: Merkle moved the nightly McCain attack up one segment, presumably to make room for Mort Sahl. "John McCain is not driving the bus." Hagee! Hagee! [Ding!][Ding!] Repeat of an old OlbyLie about Fox News "defending" McCain. Olby pimped out comedian Rachel Maddow, who tonight played a poli-sci expert and piled on yesterday's calling of Mrs McCain a "fraud" with more attacks on the Mrs. Hagee! Hagee! [Ding!][Ding!] Jeremiah Wright is "dirty politics" but we need more Hagee! [Ding!] He's "apocalyptic"! McCain is a "liar"! The comedian was upset that McCain's campaign called Arianna Huffington names, approximately 10 seconds after Oralmann called McCain a "liar". Nice way to treat a POW, Fat Ass. If this were 1974 you would be Jane Fonda.
After a Fox Noise [Ding!], a "lunatic fringe" [Ding!], and another "lunatic fringe" [Ding!], came #3: Herr Olbermahn exploits the family of Pat Tillman yet again over "Mister Bush's war". Mary Tillman was Great Thanksed before she said a single word. Merkle wondered if the friendly fire was "really accidental", while Mary blamed Rumsfeld for the "cover-up" because Rummy had written Pat a letter thanking him for enlisting and was aware of his celebrity. Yeah, that just about cinches it.
#2: The Media Matters Minute: the requisite attacks on O'Reilly (for reporting on GE's dealings with Iran)--Mackris! [Ding!] Loofahs! [Ding!] Loofahs! [Ding!]--and Roger Ailes (Blue Blog Source: TVNewser) of Fox Noise! [Ding!] Fixed News! [Ding!]
#1: A sad spectacle, the legendary Mort Sahl lowering himself to appear with the slovenly political hack Olbermoronn. Keith lied again about Fox "defending" McCain (see link above) but the hallmark of an OlbyLie is that he'll repeat it over and over until every credulous lemming has soaked it in. "Man on Fan" Olbermann wanted to know why Hillary doesn't realize that it's over. It was nice to see Sahl even though he's not exactly on his game these days.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week, Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 29 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 5 times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -68 [mama's boy limp].
Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 732nd day since the declaration that "Karl Rove will in fact be indicted".
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
2008 ELECTION: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek senior White House correspondent and MSNBC political analyst; Dana Milkbank, Washington Post; Jonathan Alter, Newsweek columnist and NBC News political analyst; Eugene Robinson, Washington Post associate editor and columnist and MSNBC political analyst
BARBARA WALTERS: Paul F. Tompkins, comedian and VH-1 contributor
Wolffe Man is in the house tonight to play Olbersturmfuhrer's stooge. Milbank might show up in some sweet threads much to the delight of Mr. Merlot. Lefty "Analyst" Alter and forever amused Eugene Robinson. Quite a lineup of committed parrots. So called comedian Tompkins and more! I'm already going crazy with anticipation.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M.)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
2008 ELECTION/NORTH CAROLINA AND INDIANA PRIMARIES: Chuck Todd, NBC News political director; Richard Wolffe, Newsweek senior White House correspondent and MSNBC political analyst; Howard Fineman, Newsweek senior Washington Correspondent and MSNBC political analyst; comedian Rachel Maddow, Err America Radio host and MSNBC political analyst
The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann bellowed the opening spiel: Clinton won't quit, even though it's over! Supporters telling her to quit, because it's over! She should stop her "anti-Obama rhetoric" because it's over! The nightly McCain attack! The nightly attack on Fox Noise! [Ding!] It's hump day at Olbermann Watch, as we once again report on the most biased hour of television in the known 'verse. Do not adjust your set. While CNN and FNC are now airing in high definition, A-Mess-NBC has instead relied on their own in-house technological advancement, something no other news channel can equal, let alone surpass. Yes, The Hour of Spin is coming to you in that new miracle of television: ObamaVision!
#5: Bonus obscure historical reference (El Alamein)--we usually have to sit through a Special Education Komment to get one of those. Hillary won't admit it's over. Feinstein talked to the Congressional newspaper "The Hehuill". Which is something like "The Hill". Obama lost Indiana despite having once held a lead. Oh wait, that's not right. A-Mess-NBC engineers adjusted their ObamaVision dials and it came out properly: Obama was expected to lose Indiana by a huge margin but he almost won. That's better. Hillary's "talking points". Hot Toddy was there for the nightly report: Obama still has more delegates. And Grant is still buried in Grant's Tomb. Oh, and don't forget, it's over!
Another string of historical factoids (supposed to be demonstrative of how well-informed Bathtub Boy thinks he is, except when it comes to knowing that you can't mount a filibuster in the House of Representatives of course) led to more talk about how it's over! More talk about the gas tax holiday. Why can't MSLSD give us a gas-bag holiday? The Wolffe Man simpered on cue.
After a comedian [Ding!] came #4: Not only is it over, it was over in February! This was a supposed-to-be-clever "CSI" rundown of Hillary flubs, missteps, and "fear mongering" over the months. On OlbyPlanet, not only do you get kicked when you are down, you get Fat Ass grinding his heel into your rump. The Pundit for All Occasions did his expected and was Many Thanksed.
After a "dumbass" (Max Boot) and another Pulitzer-worthy edition of "oddball" came #3. This should be the nightly McCain attack if Mr Merlot sticks to the cookie-cutter template. Let's see. Obama is the Obamanee. (Groan.) Hillary, it's over! And the Republicans are in a "panic"! Now we're getting there. Keith pimped out comedian Rachel Maddow, who tonight played a political analyst. John Hagee! [Ding!] There we go; now we're on track. The comedian concluded that the only way McCain can win is to lie, run a dirty campaign, or break the law. Hey, why even bothering to have the election? Oh, and Hillary? It's over!
After a Fox Noise [Ding!] came #2: The Media Matters Minute. "Man on Fan" Olbermann attacked comedian [Ding!] Rush Limbaugh for the "failure" of "operation chaos" (neatly avoiding any mention of the Obama campaign's insistence that it didn't fail at all). Comedian! Comedian! [Ding!][Ding!] Also the nightly smear of Fox made it to the "worst" category. It was the typical Oralmann tapestry of multiple lies: Fixed Noise [Ding!] did "breaking news" (OlbyLie) about a "scoop" (OlbyLie) that a woman had big breasts (OlbyLie). Actually it was a medical report with Dr Manny Alvarez (Olby would probably dismiss him as a "house boy") about the risks of excessive implants.
#1: Fat Ass home movies of an unbuilt baseball park. We polled the OlbyWatch staff and the vote was unanimous: the big breasts story was far more interesting. You can judge for yourself. We included the breast video as an appendix to this report. View it and vote in the comments. What would you rather watch: Herr Olbermann in ObamaVision or big breasts?
Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 730th day since the declaration that "Karl Rove will in fact be indicted".
No Hour of Spin tonight, as election returns will be on for the duration. So here is your open thread to comment on the results, the coverage, and related issues. Whether you watch Hume, Blitzer, or Fat Ass and The Drooler, post your thoughts here.
To kick things off, or perhaps to provide fodder should matters resolve themselves early (one state has already been called), enjoy this interview. It's all about a planted question. You've heard Keith Oralmann rail about planted questions over and over. But this one he hasn't said a word about. When you listen you'll understand why:
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
2008 ELECTION: Dana Milbank, Washington Post; Chuck Todd, NBC News political director
HAROLD AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY: Kal Penn, actor
This is a signal day on OlbyPlanet. There's the opening spiel, of course: Clinton claims she is electable! Both Dems will beat McCain! Poll numbers! A Countdown Special Anti-Hillary Report! Nightly McCain attack! Comedian! [Ding!] The latest Harold and Kumar instant film classic! But tonight the Olbypocrisy meter goes into the danger zone. You won't believe it as Fat Ass makes Rush Limbaugh "worst person"--and it turns out Oralmann did the same thing Rush did! On the air. On Countdown! The irony is exquisite, and Krazy Keith is Ridin' Dirty!
UPDATED with bonus audio soundbite!
#5: Ooh, Clinton said "your future" depends on voting for her, which Oralmann somehow decided was grossly unacceptable "hyperbole". Because Bathtub Boy never indulges in hyperbole. Now that Obama poll numbers have rebounded a bit, tonight we got another rundown of poll numbers. Keithy made a lame Geico joke and while The Laughing Stagehand didn't react, Olby himself found it so funny he laughed at it himself. Some talk about a silly report (Blue Blog Source: HuffPo) about a Clinton "nuclear option". Bear was ignorant as to why it couldn't work but why confuse the audience, or himself, with facts. Monkeymann pimped out Dana Milbank who echoed the spin o' the night and was Thanksed.
Is it time to count the delegates again? Yes it is! Obama still has more delegates. And in other news, the Pope is still a Catholic. Hot Toddy opined that tomorrow is the last day for voters to award big delegate wins, and he was Greatest Thanksed.
After a comedian [Ding!] came #4: a full segment attack on the Hillary campaign for its "metrics" of winning. Another supposed-to-be-funny piece of ridicule over the kind of spinning that every campaign does, but only Hillary (and McCain) get zinged for it on OlbyPlanet.
After calling Richard Perle two-faced, a leaf-blower, plus another comedian [Ding!] , came #3. This is usually the Designated McCain Attack Segment, and "Man on Fan" Olbermann did not disappoint. He seems to believe that because McCain favors English as an official language (as do 85% of Americans) therefore he shouldn't have a Spanish language website. Because there's something wrong with people who can speak two languages? Don't try to make sense out of it. It's OlbyLogic. Besides, that's a "controversial" thing to be for. Oh, and McCain disagreed with John Kyl, and he used the term "jihadist", and... wait a second. Is Oralmann's nitpicking tonight even more incredibly lame than usual? Answer: yes. Olby pimped out Matt Taibi, another in the parade of leftists, as the latest version of Olbermann carbon paper. They sat around and bashed Bush (he had bad convictions), McCain (a cynic with no principles), and--yes--Hagee. [Ding!] Why is Hagee relevant when Wright is not? Don't try to make sense out of it. OlbyLogic again. Through it all, Taibi sported a creepy, disturbing sneer that would give Jack Nicholson the willies.
After yet another comedian [Ding!] (because jokes only get funnier when you tell them for the 189th time) came #2: a plug for #1. #1: a lenthy plug for Harold & Kumar, sure to be the next Citizen Kane.
In the Media Matters Minute, Fat Ass attacked not just Steve Doocy (Fixed Noise! [Ding!]) but also his son, whose crime was something involving talking to Villanova students (Blue Blog Source: Raw Story). This was a typical Oralmann smear: he didn't like one question Doocy Jr asked out of about a dozen, and of course none of the others were mentioned. The next smearee was Bill Kristol (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters), while the "worst" was comedian [Ding!] Limbaugh (Blue Blog Source: Think Propaganda). Comedian! [Ding!] Comedian! [Ding!] He said he didn't recognize the mayor of LA and thought he might have been a shoe shine boy or a secret service agent, and that was "another" Limbaugh "insult" of a "minority". Comedian! [Ding!]
Stop the tivo! Is this from the same Keith Olbermann who cracked about Bill Richardson "passing the guacamole"? Or even worse, who repeatedly called Alberto Gonzales, the Attorney General of the USA, a "houseboy"? Hey Olby, might "houseboy" possibly be an insult to a minority? Gonzales is Hispanic, right Keith? Attention Fat Ass: if you can parrot your blue blog masters to smear Rush while yourself demean Hispanics with derogatory insults like "houseboy", aren't you in fact nothing but a sleazy sanctimonious hypocrite? Riddle me that, Bathman!
Dogs That Did Not Bark: Of course, since this is The Hour of Spin, you know there are mutts whose voices were muted. And the key criterion for silencing the spaniels is simple: something unfavorable to Keith's Krush: Barack Obama. Now we know that A-Mess-NBC has received its marching orders from the Obama campaign to stop talking about Jeremiah Wright, and they have eagerly agreed to the demand. Today there was another Obama embarrassment: it came in the form a report from the Wall Street Journal that finds the Illinois Senator looking to cut a deal with the Teamsters--a deal that would call off the dogs of the federal prosecutors. You know, the sort of "politicization" of the Justice Department that Oralmann has railed about for seven years, with the help of The Perfessor and occasionally The Disbarred Lawyer. But all of a sudden, this kind of ideology-based law enforcement is of no interest whatsoever to the great Edward R Olbermann. That's because he's a slovenly political hack.
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 728th day since the declaration that "Karl Rove will in fact be indicted".
UPDATE: Instant reaction to one of Bear's "worst person" smears:
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
2008 ELECTION: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek senior White House correspondent and MSNBC political analyst; Jonathan Alter, Newsweek senior editor and MSNBC political analyst; Eugene Robinson, Washington Post associate editor and columnist and MSNBC political analyst; Richard Lewis, actor and comedian
At long last, the final opening spiel of the week: Game Over! Gas tax holiday flap! The race to visit the lunatic fringe [Ding!] (i.e. Fox)! War for oil! Coultergeist! It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch!
#5: Gas in Guam. Two super delegates split. Uh-oh, problem with the teleprompter. "A short time ago the NY Democrat getting the support of a current DNC member from [awkward pause]." He never finished the sentence. Incredible! Olby is struck dumb when the teleprompter malfunctions. And he's the next Edward R Murrow, right?
Hillary "inflating" Tuesday's primaries to a "game changer". Oralmann wanted to know when people would demand she drop out, but the Wolffe Man simpered that it's regarded as "unseemly". Passing reference to "the latest polling" without any numbers or even hints at how they're going. He was not Great Thanksed.
Stop the tivo! This cannot go without a special intra-recap edition of Dogs That Did Not Bark. We documented it on Monday. We documented on Wednesday. And again today, Herr Olbermahn pulls the same sleazy trick: spikes poll results that show problems for Obama. We ask, could there be any more devastating poll numbers than the ones that came out today? 58% say Obama's criticism of his ex-pastor was merely for political expediency. 56% say Obama shares some of Wright's beliefs, beliefs that only 7% of respondents approve. Needless to say, none of this was reported on The Hour of Spin. None of it! And don't try to tell us Oralmann doesn't trust Rasmussen, historically the most accurate political polling company, because Krazy Keith has cited their polls dozens of times when it suited his purposes. What a slovenly political hack!
Hill wants Congress to line up behind her gas tax proposal. Oh no, she used a phrase once used by George Bush! "Are you with us or against us?" "Post 9/11 garbage!" "Pandering!" "Pandering!" Keith pimped out Lefty Alter who performed his assigned function as a talking Xerox machine ("Pander!" "Panderer!").
After a comedian [Ding!] came #4: How dare Hillary go on "right-wing" [Ding!] O'Reilly? This is the envy segment. Fox is a "network that still insists the Clintons were responsible for a murder" (OlbyLie). It's the "vast right-wing conspiracy", and Hillary is embracing it! (Um, Obama did that two weeks ago. Howard Dean is doing it Sunday. Unmentioned by Krazy Keith.) Orally! [Ding!] Comedian! [Ding!] Sid Blumenthal spreads links to stories from "right-wing fringe groups" [Ding!] like National Review and The Weekly Standard (Blue Blog Source: HuffPo). Oh man, it would be great if Fat Ass were to bring on Rachel Maddow from Err America to talk about how National Review is a right-wing fringe outfit. Apparently (s)he was not available, so far-left Robinson filled in, saying these are the sites you go when you want to get "slime". More complaints about going on Fox, but Robby pointed out, hey, there are Democrats and Independents watching Fox (more than either of the other two news channels, though Robby didn't elucidate that point). In other words, he told Olby: "Duh!" He was not Great Thanksed.
#3: This is the traditional spot for the nightly McCain attack, right? Bingo! Let's all sing along: "Blood for oil, we know there's a link. You say Code War, we say Code Pink!" Aha, Maddow shows up after all. Tonight the comedian is playing a geo-political petroleum expert. By the way, did we mention that (s)he works for Err America? Good thing Mr Merlot doesn't rely on any of those evil "fringe outfits". It's another McCain gaffe! Maddow was Great Thanksed, the first one of the evening. Aww, it seems like we've made a Love Connection.
#2: plug for #1. #1: Bush lied, lied, and was lying. Yep, it's the intro to yucks with ex-funnyman Richard Lewis, for, what, the third time in two weeks? Lame-o.
In the Media Matters MInute, Herr Olbermann attacked Mr Bill (Blue Blog Source: newsliars), Ben Stein (Blue Blog Source: Carpetbagger Report), and worst: Coulter (Blue Blog Source: Hillary Clinton's Media Matters). Fat Ass was particularly dense on this last one, apparently blissfully unaware that Coulter has been campaigning against McCain for some time now. But then, Media Matters didn't tell him that, so how would he know?
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week, Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 32 times. Olby's source (Hillary Clinton's Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC 10 times, but Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -84 [pansy limp].
Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 3 [GUARDED]
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 725th day since the declaration that "Karl Rove will in fact be indicted".
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
2008 ELECTION: Howard Fineman, Newsweek senior Washington correspondent and MSNBC political analyst; Chris Kofinis, John Edwards' fmr. communications director; Eugene Robinson, Washington Post associate editor and columnist and MSNBC political analyst
WAL-MART HAS YET TO TURN OVER JIM SHANK'S ACCOUNTS: Jim Shank, the husband of former Wal-Mart employee Deborah Shank
AMERICAN IDOL: Maria Milito, Q104.3
My oh my, Edward R Olbermann faces a conundrum tonight. Jeremiah Wright is still front and center, but Olby desperately wants to echo the Obama campaign talking points and pretend like it's yesterday's news. So will he spin it, or ignore it? Let's check the opening spiel: Who's got the super delegates? Hillary hasn't bought gas lately! Obama resurges in the polls! The nightly McCain attack! Wal-Mart fraud! American Idol News! We didn't hear the name Jeremiah Wright in there. Hmm, could Oralmann be taking orders from the Obama campaign again? It's hump day at Olbermann Watch where the word of the day is "testicles". Plus a special bonus: Bathtub Boy goes the extra mysogyny mile, comparing a woman to an equine animal. You just don't get that kind of high-toned discussion on that other 8:00 pm program. UPDATED: with equine video!
#5: Horrors! Scandal! A supporter referred to Hillary's "testicular fortitude". Hillary at a gas station a "stunt" nitpicked, ridiculed, and sneered at. We told you that the attacks on Hillary would escalate to punish her for entering the no-spin zone. Which we wish we were watching right now. The super delegates are running to Obama! Then to Obama's "resurgence" in a poll cited by Oralmann: he's three points behind Hillary. Yep, that's resurgence all right. (Um, isn't there another poll out today? Heh, remember, this is OlbyPlanet. See Canines, below.)
Merkle continued to ridicule the gas station photo-op with the Pundit for All Occasions, and complained about testicles again! With Sen Clinton burning up the ratings on the eeevil Fox, maybe this was Bear's genius notion of counter-programming. Howie was Great Thanksed.
Back to the super delegates again, with another in the carnival of Democrats that Countdown laughingly calls a guest list. What a shock, he was there to argue that Florida should not be seated! Who woulda thunk it? CC was, shockingly, Great Thanksed.
Well now we know what course Fat Ass decided to take. Amazing. Obama's campaign tells MSNBC that we've heard enough about Rev Wright, and Edward R Olbermoronn grovels, bows deeply, and...obeys. Hence, we get #4: Who gave "one of the great answers ever in a political interview" today? Remember, we are on OlbyPlanet. Right, not Hillary. In a stunning upset, it's Obama: the Mrs. And her exceptional, brilliant answer "pretty much closed off the topic" of Wright. Gad, could "Man on Fan" Olbermann be more of a slovenly political hack? What was her mind-boggling answer? We have to move on to funding education. Herr Olbermann was so impressed he yelled: "Check, please!" Only Edward R Olbermahn would think ducking a question was "one of the greatest answers ever given". It's a good think Obama has a big tank, because it has to have room it in for Fat Ass Keith.
Then it was off to play Blame the Media! With the help of lefty Robinson, we learned the wind is "out of the sails" of this "alleged issue", so Oralmann and his sock puppet could slob
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